How to Determine if a Guy is Nervous Around You Because He Likes You

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: May 8, 2021 Approved

Guys are confusing, to say the least. It's so hard to figure out if they like you, and it can drive you crazy not knowing the truth. One particular sort of guy that's difficult to decode is the nervous/shy type. While there are helpful clues in knowing if they like you, it all depends on the dude.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Observing His Behavior

1
Pay attention to his attitude. If you talk to him online, notice if he's confident and talkative, then see if he's the same way in person. If he likes you, chances are he'll be nervous/shy when you're right in front of him.^{[1]
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2
Notice who initiates conversation. If you talk to him online, take note of who starts most of the conversations. If it's him, that's a good sign that he likes you.

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3
Watch the emoticons. These days people throw out emoticons all the time. It’s usually a good indication of him liking you if he regularly sends you smiley faces. If you’re flattered, send a smiley face back. It may give him the courage to ask you out.
4
Wait for contact. When a guy tries to touch you in a casual way, that is a good indicator that he likes you. Beware of the creepier guys who may try to touch you in inappropriate ways. If it is done properly, then just smile and keep the conversation flowing.
5
Watch for the showboat. Some men will take the primal route and try to impress you with their feats. Even the nervous type can embellish a story to you. Notice if he tries to grab your attention with a story about him “rescuing sea otters off the south pacific” or how his “dad played in Fleetwood Mac.”
- They’ll usually go for something small like “yeah I play the electric guitar” or “did you see my touchdown last Friday?”
- If you like them back and they begin throwing out their feats, play along but quickly change the subject.
6
See if he talks about you. You can’t necessarily go out looking for this. It just happens if it happens. Sometimes if guys are interested they’ll ask your friends about you. This is a clear indication that he likes you.^{[2]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Watching His Body Language

1
Watch his body language. You can tell whether or not he's nervous around you from his behavior. Compare how he acts around his friends to how he acts around you. Does he convey some type of yearning around you?^{[3]
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2
Watch for fidgets. A lot of men aren’t smooth and have very little experience approaching a girl. A repercussion of our current age is an uneasiness which causes fidgeting. Watch to see what he does with his hands.
3
See how close he is. He may try to get closer to you. See if he naturally gravitates towards you in a crowd. Even if you are sitting together, notice if he becomes close enough for subtle body contact. These are good indicators that he likes you.^{[4]
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4
Notice his smile. One of the easier signals a guy can give is to simply smile. Sometimes men are just extra smiley, but if you notice a lot of smiles directed at you, it’s a good sign.^{[5]
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5
Watch the eye contact. See if he's looking at you when he thinks that you're not looking. He could do a variety of things if you catch his stare. He could look immediately down, look at you for a few more seconds then look down, or just keep staring.
- Look him in the eyes. If you feel like you've held eye contact with him for even a fraction more of a second than you would with anyone else, then there most likely is something there.^{[6]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Listening to Him

1
Pay attention to questions. If a guy likes you and you’re in conversation, he might ask you a bunch of questions. If he’s smooth, then you may not even notice it. He’s fishing for a similar interest that you two can share.^{[7]
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- Embrace a common interest if he becomes excited. Ask him questions in return to see if he is a phony or not.
EXPERT TIP

A lot of times when someone's nervous, they talk very fast and blurt things out that might be embarrassing.

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
2
Listen to his tone. Sometimes men will change their tone of voice depending on who they talk to. Listen to him in a group with his guy friends. Then see if he talks the same way to you when you’re alone. If he does talk the same, it doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t into you. His voice should soften ever so slightly.^{[8]
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3
Notice the mumbles. Some people naturally mumble. When guys like someone and they’re prone to mumble, you might hear it. This is more characteristic of a shy guy.
- If you’re in this scenario and want him to relax, rest your hand on his shoulder or his upper forearm.
4
Listen for the mundane. A lot of times if you both like each other, it doesn’t matter what you talk about. Two people who like each other can go on and on about the most mundane topics. Think back on your conversations. Recall if the subject matter was bleak, but your body chemistry is excited.
5
Talk on the phone. If this guy likes you and you like him, try calling him on the phone. Why wait for the guy to initiate things. Take control and call him. See if the conversation moves naturally.
- Some people aren’t phone people, but you can sometimes tell if they’re trying to make an effort.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you tell if a guy is nervous talking to you?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

The biggest indication that someone is nervous is talking very fast. Or they can say something embarrassing unintentionally.

Warnings

Just because a guy is nervous around you doesn't always mean he likes you. He could be nervous around girls in general. If he's ok talking to other girls but it's you he acts nervous around, then he likes you.

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Just because a guy flirts with you doesn't always mean he likes you. He may be a natural flirt. Use your discretion to tell.

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Don’t become an emotional detective and project what you want to see.

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