This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller. Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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From your first kiss to your thousandth kiss, with someone new or with your longtime partner, kissing leaves a lasting impression, especially a kiss that arouses deep emotion and feeling -- the sensual kiss. In fact, experts say kissing plays an important role in the development of relationships and how compatible you are with your partner.[1] Through kissing, you are communicating to your partner on a romantic level with a physical action, rather than mere words.[2] Here are the steps to having a sensual kiss.
Steps
Preparing For the Kiss
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1Groom yourself. If you're going to be getting up close and personal with your partner, it's a good idea to make your mouth, face, and body appear tantalizing and enticing for them. While everyone may have their own particular grooming routine (your go to mints, that special vanilla scented perfume, that musky cologne), the basics of good grooming include:
- Brush your teeth. No one enjoys inhaling the onion and garlic after taste of your lunch or your stale, I just woke up morning breath. [3] So before you approach your partner for a kiss, brush your teeth and have a mint to keep your breath fresh and pleasant.
- Wash your face and keep it clean. This is another grooming habit that should not be ignored before enjoying a kiss with your partner. In fact, 53% of women prefer to kiss a clean shaven man.[4] Regardless of if you have whiskers or a clean face, keep it clean and appealing to your partner.
- Wear clean clothes.You want to feel confident about experiencing a good, sensual kiss with your partner, so dress the part and make sure you're sporting clean clothes.[5] Avoid any clothing with spikes, sharp metal, or details that will get in the way of sensual enjoyment.
- Apply a little cologne or perfume. Smelling good is a big turn on for both sexes, but especially for women. Studies have shown that above all other physical characteristics, women ranked a man's scent as the most important feature for sexual interest in him.[6] Of course, the key word is "a little", as a big turn off can be a partner who reeks of an overpowering cologne or perfume. So apply just a little bit of scent to your body and don't overdo it.
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2Communicate before you kiss. Don't be shy about telling your partner what you like or asking what your partner prefers in terms of a good kiss. Rather than feel embarrassed about talking about your kissing dos and don'ts, communicating with each other will ensure you both have an enjoyable time. Be sure to discuss your preferences before you go in for a kiss, not during the kiss, so your partner doesn't take your comments as a rebuke.[7]
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3Set the mood. Create a private and romantic setting for you and your partner, like an intimate dinner at home or a beautiful view in a park. Consider if your partner has mentioned a special spot or location they enjoy spending time in and if it's an appropriate place for an intimate moment, suggest going there or bring them there. A comfortable, romantic mood will set the stage for a great, sensual kiss.[8]
Having a Sensual Kiss
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1
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2Make eye contact and lean in. As you lean in for a kiss, make sure your partner is also leaning in. Engage in eye contact to ensure you are both consenting to a kiss.[11]
- A good rule is to always close your eyes when you kiss, as your pupils will be dilated and it may appear a bit creepy or weird to your partner if you keep your eyes open.[12]
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3Tilt your head. About 95% of the time, your partner will tilt their head to the right. If you can't tell which way your partner's head is going to tilt, go right to be safe.[13] Regardless, if your partner is starting to tilt in one direction, go the opposite way so your noses don't collide before your lips do.
- If you make a miscalculation and tilt the same way as your partner, or miss their mouth completely as your eyes are closed as you lean in, laugh it off and keep going. A certain level of awkwardness can lead to a great, memorable kiss.[14]
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4Kiss gently and slowly. Studies have shown that women think the biggest mistake men make when they kiss is being too aggressive with their tongues. Men claim that women don't open their mouths wide enough as they kiss.[15] So try to find the sweet spot between an open mouth (not too wide, like you're about to eat a plate of pasta) and a gentle kiss (not a big smack or with too much tongue).[16]
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5Apply pressure and speed it up a little. Now that your lips are connecting, apply a little pressure to your partner's lips. You can kiss them a bit faster and a bit deeper.
- If by this point your partner is very responsive to the kiss, you can begin to French kiss, which is just a fancy way of using your tongue as you kiss. Relax your tongue and move it against your partner's tongue in a calm, languid way, like licking an ice cream tongue. Avoid a totally limp or totally stiff tongue, and do not jam or aggressively stick your tongue in your partner's mouth.[17]
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6Add some variety. One of the most important aspects to creating a sensual kiss is varying where you kiss your partner.[18] Try kissing different parts of your partner's face, paying special attention to the ears and neck.[19] You can bite softly on their lower lip and nibble gently on their earlobe.[20] And if you are sensually kissing a consistent partner, change up where you kiss them so your intimate moments don't feel mechanical or repetitive.[21]
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7Put your body into it. Kissing isn't just limited to your lips, so consider your posture and body position as you kiss. Press your body against your partner's, and use your hands to gently stroke or touch your partner's neck, back, waist, and butt.[22] Once you have engaged in relaxed, gentle physical moves, you could escalate to straddling your partner, or laying down to face each other as you kiss.
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8Sensually kiss your partner whenever you can. Don't fall off the kissing train, especially once the early stages of your relationship have passed or the honeymoon period fades. Often, people in a long-term relationship stop kissing and lose that intimate, sensual connection.[25]
- The intensity and emotion of your early kissing can actually become even more passionate as you get to know your partner better, and the communication between you two becomes stronger and more upfront. That old adage can certainly apply to kissing: practice makes perfect.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I kiss someone passionately?
Eddy BallerEddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
Dating CoachVary where you kiss them to keep it interesting. Try kissing their neck, cheek, or ear. -
QuestionHow do I start tongue kissing?Eddy BallerEddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
Dating CoachTake it slow while you're first starting off. If your partner initiates tongue kissing, follow along with them.
References
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
- ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
- ↑ http://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/3/
- ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
- ↑ http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/sex-sexuality/kissing-tips-d39880c487792.html
- ↑ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/smell-life/200902/the-scent-sex
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
- ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
- ↑ http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/sex-sexuality/kissing-tips-d39880c487808.html
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
- ↑ http://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
- ↑ http://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
- ↑ http://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
- ↑ http://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
- ↑ http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/sex-sexuality/kissing-tips-d39880c487794.html
- ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
- ↑ http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/sex-sexuality/kissing-tips-d39880c487808.html
- ↑ http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/sex-sexuality/kissing-tips-d39880c487808.html
- ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits?page=2
- ↑ http://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
About This Article
If you want to kick your makeout session up a notch by using tongue, first you’ll need to initiate a kiss. When you’re alone with your partner, get close to them and look into their eyes to show them you’re in the mood. If they’re not getting the hint, try glancing down at their lips for a second to make it extra clear. If they give you a flirty look back, go in for the kiss. Lean in closer to them, tilt your head so you don’t bump noses, and gently press your lips into theirs. Be gentle at first and hold off on the tongue for now—French kissing is way better when you build up to it! After a few tongueless kisses, then try using a little bit of tongue. Remember that less is more when it comes to French kissing. Start by touching the tip of your tongue to the tip of theirs. If they start using their tongue too, that’s a sign they’re into it. In that case, try using a little more tongue. Open your mouth some more and run your tongue over theirs. Try running your tongue over the inside of their lips. Swirl the tip of your tongue around the tip of theirs. Keep your tongue moving and try to find a rhythm with your partner. The key is to always be gentle—no one likes to have an unexpected tongue pushed into their mouth! Remember to breathe occasionally too. Just pull back gently for a moment and look into your partner’s eyes before you get back to it. If you and your partner are comfortable, use your hands. Caress their back, hold their face, or place a hand on their leg. If your first time kissing with tongue doesn't go perfectly, don't sweat it. You and your partner can have fun practicing. To learn more about kissing sensually, like how to move your tongue, read on!
