How to Practice Kissing

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Your first kiss can be exciting, but also intimidating if you're feeling unprepared. Everyone has a different style of kissing, just like everyone has a different style of talking. Some people kiss slow and savor every last touch. Others like to gradually kiss stronger and more intensely. You'll find out which way works best for you when you get used to it. The moral of the story here is that, while you can practice kissing on your hand or an inanimate object, there's no real substitute for practicing with another human being. (It's a lot more fun, that's for sure!) Here are a few easy ways to practice your kissing technique.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Hand Technique

1
Curl your left hand loosely like you are making the letter "O". Your thumb should be on top of your fingernails.^{[1]
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Tuck your right thumb into the opening on your left hand. When each thumb is bent at the second joint, they will rest parallel to each other and mimic a pair of lips.
3
Place your mouth gently on your thumbs. Practice lightly kissing the shape of your "thumb lips."^{[2]
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4
Experiment with your tongue. Try lightly running it over your thumbs and around the inside edges. Gently push it between your thumbs.^{[3]
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Practice kissing both gently and more forcefully. Try to find a good pressure that feels right.^{[4]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Practicing With Fruit

1
Find a ripe piece of soft fruit, such as a plum, apricot, or mango. These fruits are soft and taste good.
2
Bite a small, mouth-sized hole in the fruit.
3
Use this as the mouth that you'll practice kissing with.
4
Kiss the fruit mouth gently. Try to establish a rhythm. Kiss the top part of the "mouth," and then the bottom part of the "mouth." For goodness' sake, don't eat your kissing partner.
5
Use your tongue by gently pushing it into the flesh of the fruit. Remember to use the tongue sparingly. You don't want to overdo it with the tongue.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Practicing With Another Person

1
Find someone you wouldn't mind kissing. If you want your first kiss to be special, then try picking the person you think would make it the most special. If you're worried that your kissing technique isn't all that great yet, then maybe choose someone you'd be less embarrassed about. (And stop worrying! Kissing is fun once you get the hang of it.)
- There's nothing like kissing a real, breathing human being. A person will respond to your lips like a hand or a fruit can't.
- Kissing comes naturally to humans. That's why we do it! Practicing kissing before you actually kiss is like practicing riding a bike on a seesaw. It doesn't really prepare you for the real deal. You get good at riding a bike by riding a bike, just like you get good at kissing by kissing another person.
2
Ask someone casually or just go for it. You might be able to ask a friend if they want to practice kissing you. (Or you can develop a friendship with someone and if it blossoms into something stronger, kiss them when you're close.) Look for a good opportunity to kiss someone:
- Kiss someone you think is attracted to you. It's hard to know sometimes, but if you know that someone does or doesn't like you, use that information accordingly.
- Work up to a kiss. Work up to a kiss first by flirting. Touch the person's shoulder gently when you're talking to them; compliment an aspect of their eyes; or stare longingly into their eyes.^{[5]
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  Imad Jbara
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  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- Be physically close to the person. It'll be awkward if you're five feet away when you move in for a kiss. Get close to the person. Maybe even put your arm around their waist if all the signals you're getting say "yes!"
3
Make sure your lips are locked and loaded. You want your lips to be supple, soft, and smooth before you kiss. Balm your lips regularly before you kiss so that they're free of dry, flaky skin that can distract from the moment. Remember:
- Do not apply lip-gloss before you kiss. Lip-gloss can be sticky, glittery, and sweet. You don't want the sticky, your partner doesn't need the glittery, and you don't need the sweet. Your lips are sweet enough!
- Do not apply lipstick before you kiss. Lipstick may look smashing, but it's usually for older women. It can smudge when you kiss, leaving your kissing partner marked.
4
Make sure your breath smells good. If you have the luxury of brushing your teeth right before the kiss, take advantage of it. If not, take a breath mint. Avoid onions, garlic, and other strong-tasting foods right before you kiss.
5
Move closer to your partner. Send the signal for your partner to get ready for the kiss by getting really close. Almost uncomfortably close. If your partner moves back, they aren’t ready for a kiss. If your partner stays where they are or move even closer, you know you're doing something right.
6
Make and maintain eye contact until you kiss. This one is important. Fix the other person's gaze with your eyes. The eyes are very powerful, and they can communicate a lot of things that we can't with our voice.
- When you move in for the kiss, turn your eyes to the person's mouth. You want your mouth to land on the other person's mouth, so you need your eyes if you don't want to botch the landing.
- Once your lips are interlocked, close your eyes. We don't know why, but it's kinda creepy to have someone staring at you while you kiss them. It's better just to close your eyes altogether.
7
Kiss at a slight angle. If you try to kiss your partner straight on, your noses are going to get in the way and keep you from actually meeting lips. Instead, tilt your head either to the left or the right slightly so that your noses don't disturb the action your lips want!
- If you're sitting next to a person, the side your sitting on should dictate which way you tilt your head:
  - If you're sitting to the left of someone, it's best to tilt your head to the left.
  - If you're sitting to the right of someone, it's best to tilt your head to the right.
8
Make the first kiss last. The first time you kiss, keep your lips locked for a couple seconds, unless the other person opens their lips and starts kissing quicker. If you let the first kiss last, you'll get rid of some butterflies and set the stage for the next couple of kisses.
9
Start kissing your partner's upper and lower lip. Not at the same time, of course. Start by taking your lips and softly kiss your partner's lower lip a few times. Then, move to their upper lip.
- Be gentle. Your partner will appreciate it, even if your heart is beating through your chest. Plus, it will make the kiss more sensual.
- Be responsive. Responsive just means respond to what the other person is doing. A kiss is like a dance: you have to move based on how your partner moves.
- Go for slow instead of fast. A bad kisser will try to rush the kiss, kissing at about a thousand lips per second. Slow it down, savor every last touch of the lips, and remember to keep your eyes closed!^{[6]
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10
Save the french kiss for later. Not everyone is ready to start more intimate types of kissing at the same time. If you force a french kiss, you will probably embarrass yourself, and this could ruin your date, and the moment.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you go in for a kiss?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Take your time! Start by flirting and complimenting them. Get close and lightly touch them on their shoulder or thigh. Then, try looking deep into their eyes. If they seem into it, you can go in for a kiss.