How to Kiss a Boy

Co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and Amber Crain

Kissing a boy for the first time can be really nerve-wracking. Knowing how and when to initiate a kiss is probably the most intimidating part, but it's easier than you think! Start by flirting with him to show him how you feel. Then, when you're alone together, gradually move closer and wait for a lull in the conversation before making your move. Give him soft, sweet pecks and work your way up to French kissing when you're both ready.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Kissing Him for the First Time

1
Wait for a lull in the conversation. Timing a kiss just right can be hard! It's usually best to wait for a natural lull in the conversation to lean in for a snuggle or a kiss. Let the conversation dwindle on its own, but stay close to him.
2
Lock eyes with him. Be bold about making eye contact and do it often, especially right before you're about to go in for the kiss. Not only does looking deeply into his eyes feel romantic, but it's easier to make a genuine connection when you're looking into each other's eyes.^{[1]
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3
Test the waters by kissing him on the cheek. If you're unsure about how he'll react to a regular kiss on the mouth, you can always give him a kiss on the cheek first. You can give him a quick peck after he says something sweet, or move in slow and prolong the kiss for a few seconds to show him that you're feeling romantic.
- If he seems shocked or pulls away, you may want to slow things down a bit.
4
Ask if you can kiss him if you aren't sure. This might sound awkward, but it can actually be a sweet, cute moment! It also gives him a little warning that it's about to happen, and you'll avoid a blatant rejection if he's not into it.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- Try something like, “I've had such a fun day and I'd really like to kiss you right now. Would that be okay?” Or, if you're feeling bolder, you can always go with, "Wanna make out?”
- Boundaries are really important, so if you aren't sure, just ask.^{[3]
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5
Lean in, close your eyes, and tilt your head to the side. You don't have to close your eyes, but it could be pretty awkward or distracting to stare at him the whole time! It's best to just keep them closed. Also, right before you lock lips, tilt your head to the side a bit.^{[4]
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Tip: Kissing is easier if one person's mouth is tilted significantly sideways. Plus, it prevents your noses and teeth from bumping!
6
Touch your lips to his lightly and softly at first. When you first make contact, lightly graze your lips over his. Try to keep your pressure light and your movements slow and gentle. Keep your mouth closed for now. If it seems like he's enjoying it, you can ramp things up a bit.^{[5]
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- Avoid putting your lips into a tight pucker, which may indicate that you're not that into the moment.
7
Explore other ways to kiss him. Kisses don't always have to be on the lips! Give your mouths a break and try kissing him on the earlobe, under the jawbone, or on the inside of his wrist. If you want to take it up a notch, try kissing him in the little hollow place near his collarbone.^{[6]
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- You can also catch your breath by giving him sweet pecks on the nose or forehead.
- Don't try to rush things! Move at a pace that's comfortable for both of you.^{[7]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making out with Your Guy

1
Try tongue-kissing if it's clear he wants to take things up a notch. Open your mouth slightly and part your lips enough that you could comfortably get your tongue through them. Lightly run your tongue over his lower lip, then pull your tongue back.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}

Tip: Keep the pressure light and the movements gentle. Remember, you can always go harder and faster later.
2
Use your tongue sparingly. Slowly and softly dart your tongue in and out of his mouth, pulling back for a few moments each time. For example, you can touch his tongue with yours, then pull back. Circle your tongue around his, then pull back. If you don't pull back occasionally, the kiss might feel aggressive and drool will definitely become an issue!^{[9]
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- Pulling back also gives a chance to catch your breath.
3
Avoid biting or giving him a hickey. A light nibble on his lower lip might be okay every now and then, but definitely avoid biting him or getting your teeth involved in any other way. Gentle kisses on the jaw are great, but don't suction your mouth to his neck like a vacuum hose. Most people just aren't into hickeys!^{[10]
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- Plus, leaving behind visible traces of your make out session could get you both in hot water with your parents. Keep it low-key.
4
Explain your preferences to him in a gentle way. If his kisses are more aggressive or faster than you'd like, don't suffer in silence! Pull back and whisper something like, "I like being kissed like this." Then, demonstrate exactly what you like. He'll appreciate the direction!^{[11]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
5
Put your hands to good use while you're kissing. Don't just let your hands sit there limply⁠—use them to make the kiss better! Pull him closer and try resting your hands on his shoulders, hips, chest, or the sides of his face.^{[12]
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- You could also try tangling your fingers in his hair.
- If he seems uncomfortable with any of your touches, reel it in.
6
Experiment with different techniques to keep things interesting. As you get more comfortable, you can make the pressure more insistent or the kisses faster. You can also try changing up the intensity and speed. Avoid settling into one technique for too long!^{[13]
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7
Leave him wanting more. Ending the kiss before it gets boring is always ideal. If you stop while it's still fun, he'll instantly be looking forward to next time! Pull back, look into his eyes, and smile before you part ways.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Flirting and Creating a Romantic Vibe

1
Say "hi" when you see him and strike up a conversation. Instead of just awkwardly asking how it's going, try to have a more specific opening prepared to get the conversation flowing. Tell him what you're up to, ask about his plans for an upcoming event, or bring up an inside joke. Be sure to ask him open-ended questions that require more than a simple "yes" or "no."
- For example, you might say, "I heard you're going to the Winter Formal with a group of your friends. Fun! What are you planning to wear?"
- You could also say something like, "I totally spaced when the homework assignment was announced in History. Can you help me out?"^{[14]
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2
Find excuses to touch him in small, fleeting ways. Light touches can help you gain the confidence to break the touch barrier in a more romantic way. For example, when you're talking to him, gently touch him on the arm when he says something funny, or "accidentally" bump into him when you're walking together.^{[15]
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3
Pay him a genuine compliment. Everyone likes to be complimented, and it will also communicate that you're thinking of him. Focus on a quality you genuinely like about him⁠—whether it's his eyes, his sense of humor, his hair, and so on⁠—and tell him why you appreciate it.^{[16]
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Tip: A nice compliment doesn't have to be complicated! Try something like, "Has anyone ever told you that your hair looks amazing that way?"
4
Keep your body language positive and open. How you carry yourself can tell him a lot about how you feel! Plus, it will probably be a lot easier to move in for a kiss and, when you do, he won't be as surprised. Don't cross your arms, twiddle your thumbs, or clasp your hands together. Instead, orient your body toward him.
- For example, if you're standing, keep your toes pointed at him. If you're sitting, point your knees.
- If you can't help fidgeting, put your hands behind your back so that you look open from the front.
5
Find a good opportunity to be alone with him. You don't have to be totally alone, but a little privacy is ideal. For example, if you're hanging out with a group, go outside to grab some fresh air with him. If you're hanging out in public, try to find a quiet area that feels intimate. For instance, if you're at the mall, you could sit on a bench in a low-traffic area.^{[17]
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- You could also try offering to walk home with him or dropping by his house to ask if he'd like to go out for a bit.
- If you really want to make sure you're alone, you can always ask him out on a solo date.
6
Sit or stand a little closer to him. Kissing him will feel more natural if you gradually move a little closer to him. It will also subtly alert him that you want to be intimate, which is always better than swooping in suddenly and completely catching him off guard.^{[18]
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- If you're sitting together on a couch or in a car, move in closer than you need to. If you're standing up, inch a little closer to him or visibly shiver to see if he pulls you close.
- You can also try holding his hand or leaning on his shoulder.
7
Go in for a hug or snuggle to initiate a romantic moment. This usually works best when you're leaving or parting ways, but you can try it any time, like when you're snuggling and watching movies. Lean in close to him, put your arms around his neck or shoulders, and hold the embrace for 2-3 seconds before pulling away.
- You want to create an intimate moment, but don't hug him for so long that it gets awkward!

Community Q&A

Question

If my boyfriend is talking to me at a party, should I kiss him in that environment?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

It really depends on the party! If it's a really small party or there are family members present, you might want to wait until later to kiss him. If you're at a bigger party with all of your friends, and everyone's milling about and chatting, it seems totally fine to kiss your boyfriend there! Keep it low-key, though, since there are people present.
Question

Is it okay to just go for it? If you know he's okay with it, can you just do it?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Totally! If you know he's into you and wants to kiss you, you should feel confident about kissing him. Just make sure you choose a place that's relatively private for the kiss. Start with a peck and work your way up to steamier kisses if the time feels right and he seems receptive.
Question

What if there are other people around?

Community Answer

Many people don't feel comfortable kissing in front of others, so don't let someone pressure you to. If you would like to but feel nervous about it, try a quick peck or a kiss on the cheek.