How to Hug Yourself

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: March 24, 2023 Approved

Getting a hug is a great feeling. It can instantly lift your mood, making you feel safe and appreciated. Sometimes, however, there's no one around to give you that hug you need. When you're having a bad day, experiencing some sort of pain, or simply craving a bit of affection, why not give some love to yourself? Hugging yourself is the perfect way to boost your spirits and remind yourself that you are loved.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Hugging Yourself

1
Wrap your arms around yourself. Bring your left arm across your chest and place your left hand on your right shoulder or upper arm. Bring your right arm across your chest, placing your hand on your left shoulder or upper arm. You can reverse the order, just find a position that's most comfortable for you.
- If you prefer, you can also wrap your arms more around your midsection. Experiment with arm and hand placement until you find a position that's most comforting.
2
Give yourself a nice big squeeze. Press both arms into your body. Mimic the pressure that you feel when you get a reassuring bear hug. Don't squeeze so hard that it's painful, but just enough so that you feel secure.
- If you're in any sort of physical pain, hugging yourself can actually reduce it. Crossing your arms in a self-hug can confuse the brain, minimizing the sensation of pain.^{[1]
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3
Hold for as long as necessary. Sometimes a quick hug is all you need, while other times you might want a lingering, gentle hug. The great thing about hugging yourself is controlling exactly how long the hug lasts. Nothing is awkward when you're hugging yourself!
- Physical touch releases oxytocin, which is a hormone associated with forming bonds. Hugging yourself can actually release oxytocin and help calm and soothe you during stressful times.^{[2]
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- Keep squeezing until you feel a sense of calmness. Repeat as necessary.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Finding Other Hugs

1
Hug a pillow. This is a great, soft way to get the comfort of a hug without another person. If you don't have a pillow nearby, you can hug anything like a blanket, a jacket, a backpack, or any other object with a soft texture.
- If the object doesn't belong to you, you should either ask for permission to hug it, wait until no one is looking, or find something else. If someone finds you hugging their backpack, they might be a bit confused or even annoyed.
2
Cuddle with an animal. There is nothing more comforting than getting a furry hug from a dog or a cat. It's best to hug your own pet. If you don't have a pet, you can certainly hug someone else's, but again you should ask the owner for permission first. If you don't have access to any animals, invest in a great stuffed animal.
- Petting an animal can help you relax by lowering your blood pressure and decreasing stress hormones.^{[3]
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- Make sure it's a friendly animal. Just because it's fuzzy doesn't mean it's nice! You don't want to get bitten.
3
Hug nature. There is nothing like getting outside and getting some love from nature, enjoying sun and fresh air. If you're down in the dumps, venture outside and find a nice sunny patch of grass to relax on. Stretch your arms wide and imagine hugging all of Mother Nature. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and feel the earth hugging you back.
- Spending time in the sun can help improve mood, so this works best when the weather is nice.^{[4]
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  Research source} Just wear sunscreen!
- If the weather is bad, sit by a window and appreciate whatever weather you do have. Admire the beauty of the rain, the power of the thunder, or the calmness of the snow. Hug yourself or something soft while you take in the great outdoors.
4
Find virtual or long-distance hugging partners. Post a status on Facebook that you need a hug, and you'll be sure to get some, “Sending hugs!” comments. Simply knowing that others love you is sometimes all it takes to get the relief of a hug. You can also call, text, or FaceTime someone that you love, like a friend or a family member.
- While virtual hugs are not exactly the same thing as physical hugs, you can get some of those good vibes from an encouraging conversation.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Giving Yourself Hug-Like Affirmations

1
Leave notes for yourself. This is an easy way to get the warm fuzzy feelings that you get from a hug, and it's just as easy. Leave little messages around your house to boost your mood when you need it the most. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Leave a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror that says, “You're beautiful.”
- Stick a note on your steering wheel that says, “Have a great day– you got this!”
- Tuck a note into your lunch bag that says "You're doing great! Keep it up!"
- If words and phrases don't help you, consider using pictures instead. You can use images printed off of the internet, or doodle them yourself.
2
Treat yourself. If you're having a terrible day and have no one around to help, spoil yourself. Don't make it a regular thing, however, or it will lose its charm. For example:
- If you rarely visit the spa, treat yourself to a manicure and/or pedicure.
- Get a pint of ice cream and put your favorite movie on.
- Sit in your car and jam out to your favorite old school pop music.
- Splurge on a purchase that you denied yourself. If you've been eyeing those shoes for a while, get it!
3
Send yourself gifts. Order yourself a box of chocolates, a bouquet of gorgeous flowers, or something fun from your favorite online store. It's a lot of fun to get a package– who cares if you ordered it yourself? You can't spend money ordering things online every time you have a bad day, but you can do this occasionally to give yourself a little gift when there's no one there to give you a hug.
- Keep in mind that the package won't arrive overnight, and by the time it does arrive, you might be feeling better.
- This is a great option when you are going through a difficult time, such as the death of a family member or a breakup.

Community Q&A

Question

Hugging myself doesn't make me feel calm or secure, but hugs from others do. What am I doing wrong?

Community Answer

You're not doing anything wrong. Maybe you just need hugs from other people, there's nothing wrong with that. Its okay to reach out to other people, like friends or family, if you need support and security. That's why we have other people in our lives - to help when there's something we can't solve ourselves.
Question

Can I cope with depression with these?

Community Answer

Yes, hugging yourself can help you cope with depression. In my experience, talking to someone like a therapist or psychologist can also help.