How to Impress Your Crush

Co-authored by John Keegan

You've developed feelings for someone special, but where should you go from there? Expressing your feelings for a crush usually starts with impressing them, but how can you go about making a good impression? For many, this may be easier said than done. Fortunately, whether you're already close with your crush or barely know them at all, there are plenty of things you can do to get them to see you in a new light. Being sure of yourself, and knowing how to strike up a fun, smart conversation are both great places to start. With a little time and effort, you'll be well on your way towards impressing your crush.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

1
Be confident. Before you can think of getting others to fall for your charms, first you must look to yourself. Contrary to what you might believe, there's much, much more to looks than appearance. Nice clothes and style are a start, but nothing can replace a good attitude and self-respect. People can pick up on when someone doesn't believe in themselves, and there's nothing as attractive as a person who knows they're worth it. Regardless of your gender or the person you're trying to impress, confidence is an essential starting point.
- For many people, learning to find confidence in themselves may be the hardest part of this entire process. If you're having trouble feeling secure in your chances of success, try writing down a list of things you like about yourself, and a list of personal qualities (e.g.: a great sense of humour, beautiful smile etc.) your crush would like you for.
- Don't worry if you're shy—you can still show plenty of confidence if you're on the introverted side. People can feel really flattered if you feel slightly nervous around them. .^{[1]
  X
  Research source} If you're shy, you might find that people are attracted to you for your mystery. Your best bet is to take comfort in what comes most naturally to you
2
Dress to impress.^{[2]
X
Research source} There is no one way to dress well—part of this step is being able to figure out what your style is. Do some research into different styles. Try to recognize which styles appeal most to you, and which you think might look best on you. If you're having trouble, ask one of your friends for advice—they're there for a reason, and chances are they'll have plenty of warm suggestions to help you spruce up your style!
- Don't try to overdo it with your appearance. Find a look that's fashionable but ultimately casual. You don't want to end up scaring your crush away!
Advertisement
3
Try a new hairstyle. Nothing refreshes attention like a fresh new hairdo! This way, even if you've known them for a while, they will have to reconsider their impression of you. Who knows—you may have found your new favourite look!
4
Confide in your friends. Chances are you may be feeling stressed, excited, uncertain, or a mixture of all three due to your crush. Although it's natural to feel some embarrassment about having a crush, you may find it helps alleviate the strain to open up about it with a few close friends. Especially if they know your crush, they may be able to lend specifically-tailored advice to your situation. If anything, putting your feelings into words for the first time may help you make better sense of what you stand.
- If you decide to tell friends about your crush, whether for advice or simply to vent, make sure not to word the situation in bleak, fatalistic terms. Although you may feel pessimistic, it's much better to talk about it constructively. Not only will this positively correlate with the helpfulness of the advice your friends give you; thinking positively will also give you more confidence with your crush.
- Make sure you're confiding in someone you can trust. If you have any doubt they might spread word of your feelings around (or even tell your crush prematurely!) it may be do more harm than good. If you have any doubts, it's best to keep any talk limited to your most-trusted friends.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Catching Their Attention

1
Seek out opportunities to be around them. This could mean anything—do you go to the same school? Are you neighbours? In virtually every circumstance, there are plenty of opportunities to get on that person's radar. A great start is to put yourself in their general area. Find out what events they'll be attending, or where they eat lunch. The more you're around them, the more opportunities you'll have to interact with one another.^{[3]
X
Research source}
2
Smile! The universal gesture of kindness, there is nothing so simple and profoundly effective in winning your crush as a smile. ^{[4]
X
Research source} Whenever you see them, make sure to flash them a smile! While it might be hard if you're shy, you should find it gets easier very quickly. The reaction will almost certainly be positive.
- If, for whatever reason, they don't smile back, don't worry about it! There could be a number of reasons they didn't reciprocate the gesture. You may have caught them off guard; it's also possible that they're simply shy. Interpreting their actions as a sign they're uninterested in you should only be a last resort.
3
Introduce yourself by saying "Hi". It sounds simple, but you might be surprised how many people tend to overlook this easy, though crucial step. Once you're in their vicinity, there should be plenty of opportunities to say hello. Don't feel self-conscious in doing this; very seldom does anyone respond negatively to a simple act of attention and positive feeling.

EXPERT TIP

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

I recommend to just start talking to your crush. Show them that you're present, that you're there, and ask them questions about how they're doing. Showing genuine interest is going to make them start thinking about you. Try to find common ground between something they've been doing and something you've been doing. This way you can then mention doing something together in the future. Showing them a way that you can fit into their life will spark an image of you together in their mind.
4
Break the ice with them. There are a virtually infinite number of ways you can do this. Look to your surroundings and circumstances for something general to talk about. For example:
- If you've got a class together: "Hey, would I be able to share notes with you? I want to see if I missed anything."
- If you're at a library/theater: "Any books or movies you could recommend me?"
- If you're texting: "Wanna meet up sometime?"
- If you're at a sports game: "Hey! Which team are you part of/rooting for?"
- At a party: "Hey! How did you hear about this party?"
5
Make your attraction apparent to your crush. A crucial, common mistake to make is to be too modest about your feelings. If you don't show signs of attraction, they might not get the impression you are interested in them. Although you want to make sure not to get direct with it quite yet, there are plenty of things you can do to show interest. If you are relaxed enough, chances are you're exhibiting some of these traits already.
- One thing you could do is try twirling your hair when you're around them if it's longer, or maintaining a strong posture.
- You could also try keeping your feet pointing in their direction.
- It's also a good idea to maintain eye contact with them and smile at them.
- Making light bodily contact, like touching their arm or shoulder, is something else you can do.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
6
Set up an opportunity for deeper interaction.^{[6]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Soon enough, you'll need to get your relation at a more substantive point where you can move past icebreakers and learn about them in greater depth. While the traditional thing to do in the past was for one party to ask the other on a date, there are countless options for you to pursue in this respect:
- Although it sounds impersonal, talking online is a great, non-committal way to get to know someone pretty effectively. Things some people might have trouble discussing in person are much more easily divulged online.
- If you go to school together, you might ask: "Want to eat lunch together sometime?" Again, this is a casual, easygoing way to get to know someone a lot better.
- While you may feel obliged to wait for your crush to ask you out on a date, hinging upon social norms is a waste of time. If you're confident enough in your feelings, asking them to go out with you some night is a great way to demonstrate your confidence and make progress with impressing your crush.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting to Know Them

1
Be kind and friendly. Although the media would suggest that some people will be interested if you play hard to get, this is commonly interpreted as being standoffish. The best way to impress anyone is to be nice to them. Treat them at first as you would a friend. While you're still becoming comfortable with them, there's no need to put added pressure on your interactions.
- Giving your crush compliments, like "I love your hair!" or "How did you get such good fashion sense?", will also go a long way towards making them feel great in your company. ^{[7]
  X
  Research source}
2
Get to know your crush through inquisitive conversation. Don't be afraid to ask questions, no matter how direct it might seem. There's a good chance they'll feel flattered by the interest you're investing in them. Asking questions is a great way to spark a wider range of conversations. They don't have to be anything super-important to start; you're mostly looking to become comfortable, and possibly springboard into deeper subjects. If you're looking for examples, here are a few to get you started:
- "What's your family like? Any pets?"
- "What do you/would you like to do for a living?"
- If you attend the same school: "What are your favourite classes?"
- Make sure to do some of the talking as well! No doubt there are plenty of things they would love to know about you. This way, it will feel more like a conversation, and less like an interrogation!
3
Find your common interests. What are you interested in? Playing the guitar? Crochet knitting? Action movies? Avant-garde jazz fusion? Chances are, you already share some of your unique interests with your crush without knowing it. Finding out a bit more about what they like can offer a perfect opportunity to bond.
- Your circumstances of meeting can help inform your initial investigations into their interests. If you met at a rock concert, for example, there's a hefty probability you share musical interests. The same goes for an arts fair, a movie theater, or a sports event.
- If you don't have any apparent interests in common, you can try opening yourself to things they're interested in. Ask them why he's into certain things, and see if you can see the appeal in it. If nothing else, the fact that you're making the initiative will demonstrate to them that you care.
4
Make your attraction more apparent. While every strong romantic connection initially has a basis in friendship, at some point you should begin to emphasize that your feelings are more than that.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} You'll know you've spent enough time getting to know each other when this step feels more natural than contrived. Try saying things like:
- "You know, I think you're actually pretty cute."
- "It's really attractive that you're so passionate about your interests."
- Or even a simple "I really enjoy spending time with you."
5
Win your crush over with flirting. Now that you've fostered a strong foundation for your interactions, don't be afraid to become increasingly forward with your attraction towards your crush.
- Hugging, compliments and smiling are all valid forms of flirting.
- Use the 'push-pull' mechanic. This simple trick might work to get your crush interested in you: give them a compliment and boost their ego. Upon doing that, back away and give them the cold shoulder. If done correctly, this will make them seek your approval and affection. Give it a try, and see how it goes.
- Don't feel too discouraged if they don't reciprocate these advances at first. It's quite possible they've been taken off guard by how upfront you are, and it may take them some time to adjust.
6
Confess your feelings. Let your crush know how you really feel about them. This is the moment of truth. However, after the time you two have spent getting to know one another and flirting, you might find this stage happens much more smoothly than you would have ever anticipated at the start. If the chemistry between you two is right, don't be surprised if your crush develops into a life-changing relationship!
- The easiest way to go about this is to tell them directly.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Don't mince words: "I have feelings for you," or "I like you in a way that's more than just friends."
- If you're feeling particularly bold, planting a kiss on their cheek can leave a big impression.
- If, for whatever reason, your crush rejects you, don't sweat it! There could be a million possible reasons why someone might not be interested in pursuing a relationship, and most of them have nothing to do with you. If things go sour for whatever reason, remember not to let it keep you from loving yourself and being open to whatever comes next in life.

Expert Q&A
Did you know you can get expert answers for this article? Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow

Question

Should I confess to my crush?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Whenever you're comfortable and think they're interested in you, let them know about your true feelings.
Question

How can I ask my crush out?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Just let them know that you want to get to know them more. Ask them if they want to meet again sometime soon.

Warnings

No matter which way it goes, remember never to hold it against yourself. There are a lot of truly wonderful things about yourself, and the feelings of one crush are pretty insignificant in the long run.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 171 Not Helpful 41
Don't overdo it! Although you should let them know how you feel, there is such a thing as going too far, too fast. The most common mistake people make with their crushes is getting impatient with the process of getting to know them. Take it easy, relax, and let things come naturally. If there's a natural chemistry, you'll finding yourselves clicking in no time.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0
If you're interested in someone particular, make an effort not to flirt or show interest in other people; your crush might get the wrong impression and see you as unavailable.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1