This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.
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Kissing a girl during a romantic slow song is a special experience. Set yourself up for success by doing your best to make sure she likes you enough to kiss you. Pay attention to her body language, and don’t make your move if she seems uncomfortable at any moment. Make sure your breath is fresh and lips aren’t chapped. If she agrees to dance with you, and lets you hold her close, make her feel special by singing to her or whispering how nice she looks. If all goes well, kiss her slowly and sweetly, and make sure not to slobber. Relax, go with the flow, and just try to let it happen!
Steps
Setting Yourself Up for Success
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1Do your best to make sure she likes you. Knowing whether a girl likes you or not is far from easy. If there’s any indication that she’s not into you or not comfortable kissing, stop in your tracks: never try to force a girl to do anything. Before making any moves, think about some signs she might be giving you.[1]
- When the two of you talk, does she touch your shoulder, or otherwise try to make body contact? Has she ever blushed or batted her eyelashes when the two of you talk?
- Have any of her friends asked you what you think about her? Have they ever given you any hints that she likes you?
- Perhaps you asked her to go to the dance with you and she said yes. That’s a good sign that she likes you, but keep in mind she might just like you as a friend. Look for other hints instead of making assumptions.
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2Make sure your breath smells nice before asking her to dance. Breath mints are a key part of setting the stage. Keep a pack of mints in your pocket, and pop one in before asking for a dance. If the music is loud and you lean in close to ask her for a dance, you’re much more likely to get a “Yes!” if your breath is minty fresh.[2]
- Choose mints over gum. You don’t want to be stuck with gum in your mouth later when you go in for a kiss.
- Put a bit of chapstick on, too. Don’t use too much, as gooey lips aren’t much better than chapped lips. Try not to use mints and chapstick in front of her, or you’ll look like you’re trying too hard.
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3Ask her to dance to a slow song. Ideally, ask her to dance when a romantic song comes on that you both know. Think about requesting a song from the DJ if possible, and choose a song you know she finds meaningful. If you two are close, and if she’s comfortable with it, wrap one arm around her waist and take the other in your other hand as you lead her to the dance floor.
- Try to be charming and polite. If she’s sitting down when you ask her, take her hand in yours and gently draw her up to her feet or closer to you.
- It’s certainly fine to be a bit nervous, but try not to break the ice by being silly. For example, don't hold her hand way out away from you and act like you’re about to dance a tango. Try to be sweet, sincere, and romantic instead of making a joke out of it.
Build the Moment
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1Go with the flow. Trying to control everything will most likely just ruin the moment. Just try to relax and let it happen.[3]
- You might find that the moment just doesn’t feel right. Do your best to feel out the moment and let it build up, rather than go in with a “now or never” mindset.
- It might be better to try another time, especially if it’s your (or her) first kiss, rather than go in and knock each other’s teeth, bump heads, or get turned down.
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2Move in closer and whisper something sweet. Gently move your face closer to hers. If you know the words to the song and can carry a tune, try gently singing along to the song to her. Do your best to be just loud enough for her to hear without ruining the moment by shouting in her ear.
- If you don’t know the words or aren’t comfortable singing to her, just tell her something sweet. Try saying “You are absolutely beautiful," or "You know, this dress is so gorgeous on you."
- As you sing or whisper a compliment, hold her close to you. Gently put your arms around her and caress her to build up the moment.[4]
- Make sure she’s comfortable, and give her space if she’s stiff or pulls away from you.
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3Move your face back and look into her eyes. Try to make this a gradual movement instead of a quick jerk. Gently tilt your head, brush your noses together, and rest your forehead against hers. Look into her eyes for two or three seconds, but try not to just give a blank stare. You should be genuine and look at her deeply - make sure you mean it![5]
- After two or three seconds, slowly start closing your eyes. When you actually move in to kiss her, there’s nothing creepier than having your eyes open.[6]
- If she doesn't want to kiss you, she'll let you know at this stage by moving her face away from yours or trying to back away. Give her space and just dance until the song is finished, then thank her for dancing with you.
Going for It
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1Tilt your head and gently kiss her. Purse your lips and go in with a sweet, gentle kiss. Don’t go all in: don’t use your tongue, try to French kiss, or make out. Start out slowly, using just your lips, and after a two or three seconds, draw back a bit and give her a little smile.
- Try not to be too nervous. If you're already close to her and dancing, she probably wants to kiss just as much as you do. At this point she may open her eyes to look at you before moving in for a kiss of her own.
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2Caress and her neck and hair. If everything has gone well so far, gently brush your fingertips up her neck to cup her head in your hand. Move in to kiss her more deeply as you run your fingers through her hair, but don't make her feel like you're pulling it.[7]
- If her hair is up or neatly done, she might not want you to mess with it. If this is the case, just gently cup her neck with your fingertips.
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3Go in for a deeper kiss. Lock lips with her by taking her lower lip between your lips. Gently massage her lip using yours, but do your best to keep your lips relaxed and soft.
- Even though you’re going in for a deeper kiss, try to avoid slobbering. Wet lips on wet lips is nice, but putting your lips all over her face will make her feel like she’s kissing a dog.
- Keep both your tongue (if you choose to use it at all) and saliva in check. Don't just stick your tongue in her mouth, and no drooling![8]
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4Back your head away and look into her eyes as you finish kissing. Do your best to feel out the moment and let the kiss come to a finish naturally. If she’s still kissing you, don't pull away abruptly, but back off if it feels like it’s coming to a natural conclusion. Lift your head away, look into her eyes again, smile, and if it feels right say something like, “That was really nice.”
- You might judge from the moment that talking would just ruin the mood, or she might put her head on your shoulder. In either case, just keep dancing until the song ends.
Community Q&A
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QuestionHow do you kiss a girl while dancing if you don't know her?Community AnswerIt's probably best to kiss girls that you already know. If she's agreed to dance with you and is comfortable with you holding her close to you, chances are she might like you enough to kiss. Try to pay to attention to her body language. She'll make it clear if she doesn't want to kiss. You should be able to tell if she's uncomfortable if you're paying attention to her body language. If this is the case, you should absolutely respect her wishes.
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QuestionHow do you kiss your girlfriend while she is talking?Community AnswerIf she's already your girlfriend, it can be sweet to go in for a spontaneous kiss. Get close to her and go in for a quick smooch, then say something like, "Sorry, you're just so gorgeous I had to give you a quick kiss." However, if she's in the middle of talking, you might want to let her finish her thought. It's usually best not to interrupt her, even with a kiss, if she's in the middle of saying something important or expressing her feelings about something.
Warnings
- Pay attention if she's stiff in your arms or otherwise shows that she does not want you to try to kiss her. Don't ever try to make her do anything that makes her uncomfortable.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201603/why-is-it-so-difficult-tell-when-someone-likes-you
- ↑ http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a3460/how-to-kiss/
- ↑ http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a3460/how-to-kiss/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201303/caressing-women-advanced-erotic-tips-men
- ↑ http://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/guide-her-lips
- ↑ http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a3457/creepiness-men/
- ↑ http://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/guide-her-lips
- ↑ http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a2516/body-betrayals-on-dates/