How to Kiss a Girl on the First Meeting

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: February 9, 2023 References

When you first meet a girl you like, you may want to show your interest by kissing her. However, when you first meet someone, it may be difficult to determine if she is interested, comfortable, or ready to kiss you. If you take your time and pay attention to her body language clues, you can confidently and respectfully go in for a kiss. If you pay attention to how she is standing, look for frequent eye contact, and give her time to respond to your advances, you can kiss a girl on the first meeting.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Letting Her Know You’re Interested in Her

1
Signal your interest through open body language. When you are chatting with a girl on your first meeting, pay attention to your body language to make sure you are sending out the right signals. Avoid crossing your arms and legs, which can make you seem closed off and unavailable.^{[1]
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Research source} Keep your arms relaxed and your body turned toward her while the two of your interact. Keeping an open posture throughout the conversation will make it more obvious that you would like to kiss her.
2
Make frequent eye contact. Keep your head up and make frequent eye contact with her. Hold her gaze for two to three seconds as she speaks. Not only will this signal to her that you are comfortable around her, but it will show that you are attracted to her.^{[2]
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- Don’t look down at the floor, your shoes, or your phone.
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3
Avoid fidgeting. Feeling nervous is okay, but if you want show her that you are interested in her, take care not to project negative emotions. Biting your nails, shifting back and forth, touching your face frequently, and other forms of fidgeting can make you seem bored. Be aware of these habits, and take a few deep breaths when you think you may begin to fidget.^{[3]
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- Tapping your feet might show that you are impatient or bored, too. She might not realize you want to kiss her if you don’t appear interested in the conversation.^{[4]
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4
Smile often. A warm, inviting smile can put her at ease, and it shows her that you are having a good time. To show her that you are attracted to her, hold her gaze for a moment or two and then break out into a smile. This will show her that she is the cause of your smile, which will signal your interest.^{[5]
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5
Ask questions. Engage in the conversation and ask questions. This will display that you are being attentive to what she is saying and want to hear more. Asking questions will make you more likable and approachable, and she will take note of your attentiveness.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Ask her about her favorite places to travel, what she is currently reading, and if she has any hobbies. If you share similar interests, let her know that the two of you have something in common to help the conversation flourish.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Paying Attention to Her Body Language

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Pay attention if she leans toward you. Being able to read her body language can help you determine if you should kiss her on the first meeting. Pay attention to the way she is standing while you are talking. She may lean her head or upper body toward you. This could mean that she is interested in you and wants to be closer to you.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- If she is leaning away from you, she may not be interesting in kissing you at this time.
- If the two of you are sitting across from each other at a table, notice if she leans over the table toward you while you are talking. She might place her elbows on the table and scoot to the edge of her seat to be closer to you.
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Watch how she positions her arms. Notice if her arms are free or if they are crossed. If her arms are at her sides, she might be signaling that she is interested in you.^{[8]
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Research source} Sometimes when people are in an uncomfortable situation, they may cross their arms, which means they may be blocking themselves off. Noticing where she keeps her arms while you are talking may let you know if she wants to kiss you.
- While standing, she may keep her arms at her side or she may make gestures while telling a story. Notice if she reaches her arms toward you while she is talking. This could mean that she likes you and is having fun with you.
3
Notice if her feet are pointed toward you. When you are talking to her, look at her feet and notice where her toes are pointed. If they are pointed toward you, this may show that she is interested in you and what you are saying. If her toes are pointed away from you, this might mean that she is uncomfortable and kissing her may not be a good idea at this time.^{[9]
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4
Look for mirrored movements. If she begins to mimic your movements or how you are standing, this may be a clue that she is interested in kissing you. When the two of you are talking, pay attention to her arm movements and how she is standing. If she is copying your movements and how you are standing, this may indicate that she is building trust and trying to establish a connection with you.^{[10]
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- If you use hand movements while telling a story, for example, notice if she begins to use them, too.
- If you tilt your head to the side while talking, she may adopt this movement too to show you that she is comfortable around you.
5
Note if she is fidgeting. Someone who is not interested in kissing on the first meeting or date may be fidgety. This might mean that she is uncomfortable and not ready to be kissed. If she scratches her nose often or rubs the back of her neck, she may not be interested in kissing you.^{[11]
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6
Look for frequent eye contact. When you are first meeting a girl or are on a first date, pay attention to her eyes. If she likes you, she may make a lot of eye contact. She may also blink often while the two of you are talking. This could mean that she is interested in you and is enjoying the conversation.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- If she avoids making eye contact, she may be signaling that she is not ready for you to kiss her.
- Watch her eye movements, too. If she looks into your eyes, down to your lips, and back up to your eyes, this might mean that she wants to kiss you.^{[13]
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7
Pay attention to how she holds her purse. If she is holding on to her purse tightly or if she is holding it in front of her, she may not be interested in kissing you. She may be closing herself off by placing the purse between you two. If you are on a date and she holds her purse loosely at her side, places the purse on the floor, or drapes it over the back of a chair, that might mean that she is interested.^{[14]
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- If the two of you are sitting, notice if she keeps her purse in her lap. This might mean that she is not interested in kissing you.
- While the two of you are standing, she might let her purse hang from her shoulder if she is comfortable around you.
8
Notice if she brushes up against you or touches your arm. On a first date or meeting, she may signal her interest in you by brushing up against you or by touching your arm or back. If she isn’t afraid to make contact with you, this might mean that she likes you and may be interested in kissing you on the first meeting.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- When she is chatting with you or telling a story, she might reach out and touch your upper arm to show that she likes you.
9
Watch her lips. If a girl is interested in kissing you, she may lick her lips or touch them with her fingertips. This could mean that she wants you to notice her mouth, which can be a clue that it is all right to kiss her.^{[16]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Going for a Perfect Kiss

1
Lean toward her. If she seems comfortable around you, she may be ready to kiss you. Begin by slowly leaning your body and head toward hers as you talk. Turn to face her, point your feet in her direction, and lean in a little closer as the conversation continues.^{[17]
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Research source} This will give her time to realize that you are interested in kissing her.
2
Ask. If you are shy or you’re just unsure if she wants to kiss you, simply ask her. She will appreciate your politeness and respectfulness.^{[18]
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- Share how you feel before you ask her. You could say, “I know we just met, but I really like you. Would it be all right if I kissed you?”
3
Lean in halfway. When you are about to kiss her, lean in about 90% of the way. Since you have only recently meet, it is a good idea to allow her to realize that you want to kiss her. If she is interested, she will lean in the rest of the way. If she turns her head away, she is not interested.^{[19]
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Part your lips slightly. As you lean in for the kiss, part your lips slightly and relax. Close your eyes, and gently press your lips onto hers.^{[20]
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- Be sure to breathe through your nose while kissing.
5
Pull away slowly. After the kiss, pull away slowly and maintain eye contact. Pay her a compliment, go in for another gentle kiss, or kiss her on the cheek.
- Use this time to ask her if she would like to go on another date. Tell her that you would like to spend more time with her.^{[21]
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Expert Q&A

Question

Should you kiss a girl the first time you meet her?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

It depends on if they're open to it or not. Part of figuring this out is just trusting your instincts, but there are signs you can certainly look for. If she's making a lot of eye contact, or brushing up against your arm, it's a major sign she's interested. Another thing to look out for if you're on a date is how she behaves when the date is about to end. If she gets up to go to the bathroom and she comes back and it looks like she refreshed her lipstick or brushed her hair, it may be a sign she's interested in kissing.