How to Kiss in a Variety of Ways

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: February 3, 2023 References

The “perfect” kiss might be different for everyone, but there are a few tricks to make your next makeout session even hotter. Use your tongue the right way to leave your partner wanting more and don’t be afraid to mix it up with a creative kiss like Spider-Man or the single-lip smooch. Remember that there’s more to kissing than just mouth-to-mouth action, too. Get playful with an Eskimo kiss or greet your friends with an elegant air kiss, for example. Mwah!

This article is based on an interview with our personal development and dating coach, Eddy Baller. Check out the full interview here.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Perfecting Your Basic Kissing Technique

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Start with a simple peck on the lips if you're a beginner. Lean in and lightly press your lips to your partner's. Line up your mouths so that your upper lip is between their lips and your bottom one is underneath theirs.^{[1]
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- You can also put their upper lip between yours if that feels more comfortable.
- Don't push too hard against their lips. It should be soft and romantic, not painful or aggressive.
2
Mirror what your partner does so you stay in sync. This helps if you aren't sure exactly what to do with your lips, tongue, or even hands. Let them take the lead, then copy whatever they're doing to gradually deepen the kiss at a pace that both of you are comfortable with.^{[2]
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- For example, if they slip a little tongue in or reach up to cup the side of your face, do the same back to them.
- This applies to speed, too. If they're going slow, don't force a bunch of quick kisses.
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3
Get into a natural rhythm by varying your movements. A good kiss isn't just a series of the same pecks over and over again. Make some kisses longer and some shorter. Mix softer pecks in with deeper tongue-touching smooches. Do what feels natural to you in the moment instead of trying to think it through.^{[3]
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- Change up the position of your body and head, too. Occasionally break up the kiss to tilt your head to the other side, or place your hand on the back of their neck, for example.
- Pay attention to how your partner reacts to your kisses. If you try to up the intensity and they keep their lips closed, for instance, that may be a sign they don't want to take it further yet.
4
Work up to the French kiss if you want to show passion. The secret to a great French kiss is intense chemistry, so let that spark guide your actions, instead of overthinking it. Vary the movement and speed of your tongue, slowly increasing the intensity as the kiss goes on. Don’t be too forceful with your tongue, either, or let it just flop around.^{[4]
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- Get your hands involved, too. Run them through your partner’s hair, for instance, or clasp your hands around the back of the other person’s neck.
Do’s and Don’ts of Using Tongue When Kissing

Do pay attention to your partner’s rhythm. Mirror what they’re doing with their tongue, whether it means speeding up or slowing down to get in sync.

Do try the secret message trick. Spell out a word or phrase with the tip of your tongue. Ask your partner to guess what it is.

Don’t go in with tongue right away. Start with a soft closed-mouth kiss, then slip a little tongue in as the kiss deepens.

Don’t use too much tongue or saliva. A kiss that’s too wet or a tongue shoved down your throat is a major turn-off. Remember that less is more.^{[5]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Getting More Adventurous with Your Kisses

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Lick your partner’s lips, then blow on them for a tingly sensation. Trace their bottom and/or top lip with your tongue. Once they’re damp, lightly blow cool air on them. The mix of hot and cold will give the other person goosebumps in the best way.
- Don’t use too much tongue here. Just use the tip to moisten their lips rather than slobbering over them.
- You can use this technique on other parts of their body, too, like the neck or collarbone.
2
Nibble on their bottom lip gently if you’re feeling frisky. The key word here is “gently.” Don’t bite or chomp into their lips, which could be very painful. Instead, lightly tug at their bottom lip with your teeth or add a tiny nibble in the middle of a kiss.^{[6]
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- Do this when you pull away from the kiss to leave them wanting more. You can even finish it off by biting your own lip, too, and looking into their eyes.
- For the right amount of pressure, you should barely be closing down with your teeth.
How to Tease During a Kiss

Press yourself against your partner to make it a full-body experience.

Lean in like you’re going to kiss them, then hover your lips over theirs for a couple of seconds.

Build anticipation by kissing the corners of their mouth, their jaw, their neck, etc. Anywhere but their actual lips at first!

Slip an ice cube into your mouth before you start kissing for an icy-hot sensation.

Make breathy sounds or soft moans while you’re making out to let your partner know you’re into it.
3
Do the Spider-Man kiss if you want a movie-worthy make out. While you probably won’t be hanging upside down like Spider-Man for this smooch, you can recreate it at home easily. All you have to do is arrange yourself so you’re kissing your partner upside down. It will feel awkward at first to flip-flop the position of your lips but it’s a fun move to play around with.^{[7]
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- For example, you can sit with your partner’s head in your lap and bend over to kiss them upside down for the same effect.
4
Kiss your partner’s neck or ears if you want to turn them on. Both the nape of the neck and the ears have a ton of nerve endings, making them super sensitive. Press a trail of kisses down your partner’s neck from their jaw to their collarbone. Add in the ears by nibbling or softly sucking on their earlobes.^{[8]
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- Use your tongue if you want to. You can drag it up the curve of their neck, or flick it around the edge of their ear.
- Ask permission before giving someone a hickey, which is a bruise caused by sucking too hard on someone’s skin. While they’re a sign of passion, some people are embarrassed by hickeys so never leave one if you haven’t asked the other person.^{[9]
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Try the lizard kiss to surprise your partner. Set up just as you would for a normal kiss, placing your mouth onto your partner’s lips. Then move your tongue just like a lizard does, by flicking it in and out of the their mouth as quickly as possible.^{[10]
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- This kiss can feel a little strange, so it’s best to only attempt it with someone you know or are comfortable with. It’s not first-kiss material.
- You may want to practice the motion of flicking your tongue in and out by yourself first. Mastering the movement before you try it with someone else will prevent any awkward tongue-twisting.
6
Go for the vacuum kiss if you like a little pain with your pleasure. This style of kiss is very intense, and can be almost painful. Press your lips over your partner’s, then suck in as hard as you can while they do the same. It creates a suction effect and, when you release your breath, gives you a rush of relief that’s almost intoxicating.^{[11]
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- When you pull away, there will likely be a loud popping noise from breaking the suction.
- If you’ve never done this with your partner before, let them know what you’re doing before you go in for the kiss. It only works if both people suck in.
7
Experiment with a single-lip smooch if you’re more advanced. This kiss can be tricky to master because you want to get just the right amount of suction that feels sensual. Cover your teeth with your lips, and try lightly sucking on either their top or bottom lip by gently pulling it between your own lips. ^{[12]
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- If you’re just starting out with this kiss style, focus on the bottom lip first. That tends to be easier to suck on correctly.
- You can add a flick of your tongue or a little nibbling while you suck for a flirty twist.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Trying Cute, Fun Kisses

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Give an eskimo kiss if you’re in a playful mood. This kiss was invented by eskimos when their noses and eyes were the only parts exposed in cold weather. It involves gently rubbing your nose back and forth against your partner’s. They can either keep their face still, or move their nose left to right as well.^{[13]
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- Another alternative is to simply touch your noses together lightly instead of rubbing.
- Eskimo kisses are a cute way for parents to say goodnight to their children, too. Kids will love doing it based on the fun name alone!
2
Show affection with a forehead kiss. Forehead kisses can be used in all different situations, whether you want to express that you have feelings for someone, let them know you care about them, or console them when they’re upset. Rest your lips lightly on the center of their forehead for a couple of seconds, keeping the kiss dry.^{[14]
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- Pair a forehead kiss with a heartfelt hug for an even more emotional connection.
- Do not use your tongue or wet your lips for this kiss.
3
Tickle someone in a cute way with butterfly kisses. This type of kiss doesn’t even require your mouth. Place your face close enough to the other person so that your eyelashes touch their face. Then blink your eyes open and shut rapidly, so they feel a fluttering sensation on their skin.^{[15]
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- It’s easiest to give butterfly kisses on someone’s cheek because you can rest your face against theirs.
4
Prove that chivalry isn’t dead with a kiss on the hand. This is a polite, respectful gesture that’s typically between a man and a woman. Lightly grasp her hand between your thumb and fingers. Bring it up to your mouth while also bending over slightly, and brush your lips against the back of her hand.^{[16]
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- Only kiss the hand of a woman you already know. It’s too intimate of a gesture to use on a stranger in today’s world.
5
Do an air kiss to greet someone. Popular in Europe in particular, the air kiss is a warm way of saying hello. Lean in, turning your head slightly so that your cheek barely touches the other person’s cheek, if at all. Silently, or with a soft “mwah,” kiss the air next to them. Do not touch your lips to their cheek.^{[17]
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- The number of kisses and which side of the face you start with differs from place to place and culture to culture.
- If you’re doing a single kiss, the most common way is right cheek to right cheek. For a double kiss, it’s usually right cheek first, then left cheek.