How to Make Your Girlfriend Like You More

Co-authored by Collette Gee

Last Updated: January 31, 2022 Approved

Are you in a relationship right now and you want to make your girlfriend like you more? It's tough when you really care about someone and you feel like she doesn't feel the same way. Luckily, there are some ways to make her like you more.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Spending More Time With Her

1
Find time in your schedule to be with her. It doesn't matter how busy you are – if you want to have a girlfriend you have to be willing to spend time with her. The relationship can't grow if you're never with her. ^{[1]
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2
Let her know you're thinking about her even when you aren't together. Even if there are days when you aren't able to figure out a time to be with her, let her know that you wish you were together. If you do this all the time it will bother her, but if she's away on vacation with her family or doing something for work you can let her know you're thinking about her. This will make her feeling wanted.
- For example, text her and tell her that you miss her.
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3
Be flexible and willing to fit into her schedule. It's not all about how busy you are. Let her know that you're willing to spend time with her anytime, anywhere. Maybe you're only meeting for 30 minutes during lunch, or maybe you can only spend time with her while she's also around her parents. If you really like her and you want her to like you more, being open to anything is important. It will show that you want to be around her no matter what. ^{[2]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Resolving Your Disagreements

1
Keep an open mind. The worst thing you can be is stubborn. Understand that she is her own person and that you can't push anything on her. Let her make her own decisions without constantly disagreeing with them.
- For example, if she wants to get a tattoo and you really don't like tattoos try to be open about it. Maybe you'll end up thinking it is very attractive.
- Express your feelings in a cool, calm way, but be sure to listen to her perspective, too. If you're having trouble taking turns talking, try setting a timer, and give each person the same amount of time to talk. When it's your turn, explain how you feel, but try to use "I" statements that focus on your emotions, rather than "you" statements, which can sound accusatory.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Collette Gee
  Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
  Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}
- You can also write letters to each other if you're having a hard time communicating about a serious issue. Then, after you each have a chance to read the other person's letter, you can set up a time to discuss what you both wrote.^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  Collette Gee
  Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
  Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}
2
Don't be hateful. When you're in a very intimate relationship it can be easy to find yourself getting frustrated or being less patient than you normally would be. Never snap at the person.
- For example, if you find yourself getting in a fight make sure you stay calm and civil to make it more of a debate than a fight. Don't yell at her.
3
Compromise. You can always find a middle ground. You don't have to be a pushover, but be willing to bend your stance if it helps the relationship. If you really care about her this shouldn't be difficult. Try to be easy going. ^{[5]
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- For example if she really wants to see one movie and you want to see a different one, ask her if she might be willing to see the movie you want to see next weekend if you watch hers this weekend.
- If you're in a disagreement and it's getting heated, know when to take a break. For instance, you might go for a walk for a few minutes—you can even go together, if you think you can do so without arguing more.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Collette Gee
  Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
  Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}
4
Ask her opinions about other things. Even if you disagree about one topic, don't be afraid to ask her opinions about different topics. Not only will you get to know her better, but you'll also show that you still really value her opinion even if you don't agree about that one subject.
5
Respectfully disagree. If you are going to stick to your guns and continue to disagree with your girlfriend, make sure you do it in a respectful and nice way.
- Say something like, “well I don't know, I still think what I think – but you have made some really good points that I'll have to consider.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Treating Her Better

1
Spend more time doing the things she likes. Don't insist that you go see the movie that you want to see, or spend the time at a place you like. Ask her the things she prefers to do and try to make sure you spend a lot of time doing those activities too. Don't be afraid to show her something you like, but always keep track of how much fun she is having. Be fair. ^{[7]
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2
Make her feel important and valued. Compliment her looks, her personality, her sense of humor, and everything else. Don't overdo it, just be sure that you actually say it out loud when you feel one of those things. This will make her feel special and she'll probably like you more.
- For example, "you're way better at math than I am. It's really nice dating someone so smart."
- Another example - "I really like hearing your opinions about other people. You're always super perceptive."
3
Keep up the conversation. If you have trouble starting a conversation with her, ask her how her day went or what she wants to do. Don't be afraid to talk about whatever you have been thinking about that day, or interesting things that you saw. She'll probably think it's cool that you are sharing your life with her.
4
Plan ahead. Planning your dates ahead of time is a great idea. This way you'll have a chance to be more creative without the pressure of the moment. Try to avoid doing the same thing over and over again. ^{[8]
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- For example, if you went to see a movie last weekend try going on a hike this weekend.
5
Give her gifts. It's a cliché that girls need presents all the time, but it's always nice to get a gift. Flowers are always appreciated, but you can also surprise her with a more personalized gift. If she really likes running, buy her a new running backpack or watch. You don't have to do it on her anniversary or anything – gifts that come out of the blue are sometimes the nicest ones. ^{[9]
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6
Make friends with her friends and family. It's important that the people who are close to your girlfriend think that you are a good person too. She'll appreciate you taking the time trying to get to know the important people in her life and they might even end up putting in a good word for you. ^{[10]
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7
Introduce her to your family. It's also important that she knows you are serious about the relationship. Introducing her to your family and acting proud of her will show her that you want this to work out long term. ^{[11]
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Expert Q&A
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Question

How can my girlfriend and I become better at solving our disagreements?

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist

Expert Answer

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That can be really hard, but the most important thing is to listen to each other. Try setting a timer for each person to express how they feel, but avoid projecting "you" statements onto the other person. You could also write letters to each other, then exchange them. Give one another time to read and digest the letters, then sit together to discuss them.
Question

I have a girl I have spent so much money for her by buying gifts. Still she don't like me as her boyfriend. What should I do?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
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It would be a good idea to stop buying her any more gifts, as she may see this as you trying to "buy her affection." As nice as it is to receive a gift, just one sweet one now and then is enough, while lots of expensive ones is suspect. Instead, take some time to talk to her about her interests and find out what she really cares about. Get to know each other first, before trying to ask her out. When both of you feel comfortable around each other and she is enjoying your company, then it's a good time to ask her out. And leave the next gift until you actually get a date with her, it'll be something for you to plan but keep it simple and sweet.