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This article was co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld. Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.
This article has been viewed 5,452,694 times.
If you've been with your girlfriend for a long time -- or not so long -- and are ready to take your relationship to a more intimate level, you must be wondering if she's feeling the same way. Though you may think it's easier to just ask her what she wants, saying, "Wanna have sex?" may not give you the reaction you expected. Instead, if you really want to know if your girlfriend wants to have sex with you, you should pay attention to what she says and how she acts to get the big picture. If you want to know how to tell if your lady is ready to get intimate, just follow these steps.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Notice Her Actions
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1See if she's been getting more physical. If your girlfriend can't keep her hands off of you and is always touching you, has her arms around you, or wants you to hold her hand, put your arm around her, or even drape her across your lap, then she may be ready for more. If her actions have been getting more sexual -- like if she's touching your manhood through your pants, or placing your hands on her breasts -- then she may be ready for something more.[1]
- If she's more physical around you, then this means she's probably more comfortable around you. And she'll only have sex with you if she feels comfortable with you.
- See how she dances with you. Does she get closer to your body than ever? She may be trying to tell you something.
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2See how things have progressed in the bedroom. It's unlikely that your girlfriend wants to have sex with you if you've never even kissed. But if you've been making out for a while and have moved further than that, then it's more likely that she's ready to have sex. If you've touched her breasts, and if you've touched each other's private parts or even performed oral sex on each other, then it's more likely -- though not guaranteed -- that she may be ready to move further with you.
- Just because a girl gives you oral sex does not mean that she's ready to have sex with you. Some girls give oral sex way before they're ready to have sex, while others aren't comfortable giving oral sex until after sex -- or they don't give it at all. Every girl is different.
- If you kiss for hours and your girl doesn't do anything more, she may either be waiting for you to make the next move, or she may really just not be ready to have sex. If she pushes you away every time you try to touch her breasts, take off her shirt, or touch her below the belt, then she is definitely not ready.
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3See if she wants a lot of alone time with you. If suddenly, your girlfriend's friends are nowhere to be found, and she wants to spend a lot of time alone with you, in one of your homes or bedrooms, then it's likely that she wants to get intimate -- to some degree. If she wasn't ready for sex, then she'd be more likely to avoid any uncomfortable situations where you're completely alone and wanting more than she can give you.
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4See if she invites you over. If you've never been alone in her place before, and she invites you in, then she may be telling you she wants something more from you. If she conveniently picks a date night location near her place and then casually steers you in the direction of her home, then she may be telling you that she wants to get intimate. This takes some planning and foresight, so it's likely she's put a lot of thought into getting you alone in her place.
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5See if she tries to sleep over at your place. If she's never slept over, but she comes over with a bigger bag that is likely to be an overnight bag, then she may be telling you that she wants something more. If she wants to spend some time in bed with you, then it's likely that she doesn't just want to sleep. Falling asleep next to a person can feel almost as intimate as sex, so if she's trying to stay at your place, she may be telling you she's ready for the next step.
- This doesn't mean that she's ready for sex, but it does make it more likely that she wants to be intimate.
Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Just Ask
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1Be prepared. If you plan on asking your girlfriend if she wants to have sex, then you should do it in an intimate setting -- not while you're splitting a cheeseburger. So, if you're ready to have sex, and it turns out that she's ready to have sex, then what does this mean? Condoms. Don't show up at her place, or invite her to yours, knowing that there's a chance you'll have sex without being prepared.
- Don't show the condoms to her or creep her out, but have them at your disposal just in case she is ready. Nothing will ruin an intimate moment more than a trip to the drugstore.
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2Get intimate. Once you're prepared for action, you should reach a point where you're intimate with your lady. This means you should take her out, make her feel special, and then get some time alone with her. How intimately do you have to be? This depends on how fast things progress. If you're already in the bedroom and part -- or most -- of your clothes are off, then it is time to ask her for confirmation that she is ready to take things to the next level.
- If you're just kissing on the couch and she doesn't make any more moves, it may be too soon to ask.
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3Ask if she's ready. When the time is right, stroke your woman, look into her eyes, and say, "Are you ready?" Don't say, "Wanna have sex?" or "Wanna get it on?" Or she won't take you seriously. Make it clear that you're asking whether or not she's ready for sex, and wait for a response. She'll appreciate that you can be subtle and open at the same time.
- Obviously, make sure your girl is sober when this decision is made. The worst thing you can do is pressure her into doing something she'll regret later when you're both under the influence.
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4React appropriately. If she says she's ready for sex, then do a private cheer, get your condoms, and get ready to get it on. And if she says she's not ready, respect her decision and let her know that you're perfectly cool with that.[2] Tell her she's worth the wait and that she can take all the time she needs. Be a gentleman. If you get angry or try to pressure her, then she'll be second-guessing your relationship right away.
- If she says no, cool it for a while. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex every time you give her a peck on the lips. That will get old fast. Never rush.
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Notice Her Words
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1See if she's talking about sex more often. If your girlfriend is ready to take the next step with you, it's likely that she'll be talking about sex more. She can do this in a lot of different ways, from talking about your friends who just started having sex, to casually asking your opinion on sexual topics. If the word "sex" is on the tip of her tongue, then it's obviously on her mind.[3]
- If she mentions sex while you're alone together, then it's even more likely that she wants to have sex with you.
- If she's suddenly very curious about which of your friends are having sex and which aren't, then she may be wondering when you two will have sex too.
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2See if she gives you sexual compliments. If she tells you that you have a great chest, sexy biceps, or amazing abs, then she's hinting that your body turns her on. Instead of telling you that she likes your shirt or that you have a great haircut, she's choosing to let you know that she notices your body -- and maybe thinking about all of the things it can do for her.[4]
- If she gives you these compliments while you're kissing or being intimate, then it's even more likely that she may want to take the next step.
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3See if she talks about your bed a lot. If she comes over, pats your bed, and says it's "really comfortable," then she may be hinting that she wants to lie down on it with you. If she even does lie on the bed and talk about how great it is, then she wants you to join her as soon as possible.
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4See if she just tells you she's turned on. This is a pretty bold move, but yes, your lady may just tell you that she's in the mood, feeling frisky, or just wants to hook up. This doesn't necessarily mean that she wants to have sex, but if she's comfortable enough to tell you that she's in the mood for something intimate, then it's not a leap that she may want to have sex with you.[5]
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5See if she talks dirty. If your girlfriend has started talking dirty to you over the phone, sending you dirty texts, talking dirty when you're making out or doing something more, or even having phone sex with you, then she may be ready to take it to the next level. Of course, this could all just be talk, but if she's comfortable enough with herself and you to go this far, then she may be ready for more.[6]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat body language should I look for?
Mark RosenfeldMark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.
Dating & Relationship CoachSee if she's leaning in and turning toward you. If she's feeling subtle, she might give you a look, offer a nod, or raise an eyebrow. -
QuestionHow can you tell if she's not interested?Mark RosenfeldMark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.
Dating & Relationship CoachShe might lean away or back off when you're trying to get intimate. Check in with her if you want to be really clear on how she's feeling. -
QuestionHow can a sexual relationship be less stressful?Mark RosenfeldMark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.
Dating & Relationship CoachDon't assume that you'll get intimate until you're actually having sex. You'll get yourself into real strife if you start making assumptions or setting expectations.
Warnings
- If she gets pregnant with your child and decides to keep it, remember that you will be legally bound to the child.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Protect yourself and your partner from unwanted pregnancy. Use condoms, birth control pills, or another proven means of contraception. Pulling out is not an effective or acceptable alternative. Contraception is a lot cheaper than child support!⧼thumbs_response⧽
- If she says no, it means no. If she is drunk, it means no. Even she doesn’t say anything at all, it may mean no; the absence of refusal isn’t the same thing as consent. Make sure you have received your girlfriend’s unambiguous consent before initiating sex; not doing so is considered rape or attempted rape and can be used against you in court. More importantly, it can be deeply emotionally scarring to your so-called partner.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Ask yourselves what if the birth control fails. It’s best to know how both of you would handle this situation beforehand; the only thing worse than a surprise pregnancy is a surprising disagreement over what to do next.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Protect yourself and your sex partner from STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). The only way to do this is to use a condom.⧼thumbs_response⧽
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References
- ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
- ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
- ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_60/64b_love_secrets.html
- ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
- ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
- ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
About This Article
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld. Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release. This article has been viewed 5,452,694 times.
Co-authors: 213
Updated: December 27, 2022
Views: 5,452,694
Categories: Love and Romance
Article SummaryX
To know if your girlfriend wants to have sex with you, notice if she is getting more physical, like wrapping her arm around you or placing your hand on her breast, which may indicate she’s ready to move to the next level. You should also expect that she may be ready to have sex if you’ve been making out for a while or if she’s given you oral sex. If she starts asking to spend a lot of alone time with you at one of your homes, consider this another possible sign that she’s ready. In addition to these physical clues, look out for verbal signs, such as if she talks more about sex with you or gives you sexual compliments. Alternatively, you may notice she talks about your bed a lot, like saying that it’s really comfortable. If you’re still unsure if your girlfriend is ready, consider asking her when you’re alone and having an intimate moment. For tips on how to prepare for an evening when you think you may have sex, read on!
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