How to Be Sexy at Any Age

Expert advice to exude confidence and look hotter instantly

Co-authored by Spencer Shimada and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: March 17, 2023 References Approved

Body Language

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Appearance

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Personality Traits

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Q&A

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Tips

Nowadays, we know that sexiness is about more than tight clothes and a conventionally "hot" body. It's about the way you carry yourself, interact with others, and present yourself to the world. And sexiness is something that everyone can embody and exude, no matter your hair color, skin color, eye color, or body type. If you're ready to up your sexiness factor and start turning heads, you've come to the right place. Use the tips below to transform into the sexiest, most confident version of yourself.

Things You Should Know

Make eye contact with people and look at them through your lashes with a small smile on your face.
Exude confidence by standing up straight with good posture and walking with grace.
Play up your best features by practicing good hygiene and getting a fresh, modern haircut.
Set goals for yourself and work hard to achieve them to impress people with your skills.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Using Body Language

1
Use your eyes. We often communicate with people without using any words at all, and the universal sexy language is the language of the eyes. Try looking at someone through your lashes with a playful smile on your face, and then occasionally look away as you talk to them.^{[1]
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- A little lip licking or biting is also a common sexy look.
- If you’re not sure how to do this, practice in the mirror before using it on someone in real life.
2
Hold back a little to stay mysterious. A little mystery is pretty sexy, right? But that doesn't mean you should play out your life like a bad modern fantasy novel. You don't need to act like you've got some tragic backstory or keep one eye constantly covered by hair. Instead, just be a bit reserved. Don't automatically divulge every detail of your life.^{[2]
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- By creating this mystery, you throw down the challenge to someone that they should get to know you better and find what secrets lay beneath.
3
Get comfortable in your body. This goes beyond just liking your body and having good self-esteem, although you should do those things! Getting comfortable in your body means being good at moving your body. Work on developing your grace. Learn to dance. This will make all of your movements more natural and less awkward, adding to your sexiness factor.^{[3]
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- Spend some time looking at yourself in the mirror to feel comfortable with yourself. Even if you don’t love your body entirely, you can still get more comfortable with who you are.
- Get comfortable with touching other people on the arm or the hand. Light, casual touches like these exude confidence, and they’re very attractive.
4
Learn how to pitch your voice down. Studies show that people are attracted to a lower voice. Whenever you can, try speaking just slightly lower than you normally would in your daily life. Speak slowly and quietly so that people really have to lean in and listen to you while you talk.^{[4]
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- You can practice by recording your voice and listening to yourself. Adjust until you reach a tone that you think sounds good.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Looking the Part

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Decide what kind of sexy you want to be. There are 2 kinds of sexy: there's the traditional Jessica Rabbit sexy and then there's the kind of sexy that's more down-to-Earth. By conforming to one or the other, you'll be attracting people that are looking for different things. Use this to your advantage to help you get what you're looking for.
- Traditional sexy is great when you're trying to attract more temporary partners. This is because a lot of traditional sexy is about putting on a show, which hides or downplays your natural personality and looks (sending the message that you don't care if someone likes you for who you are).
- The more natural sexy plays up your inherent personality and looks. This tells someone that you want to be thought of as sexy for who you are, usually leading to someone who's looking for something more long-term.
2
Be confident in your day to day life. Confidence radiates through your body language. Walk with your head held high and your shoulders back, and people are sure to notice. Confidence is the number one most sexy quality. Even people who don't have much to offer in the looks department can still manage to come across as sexy if they balance confidence with other attractive qualities, like personality, charm, and humor.^{[5]
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- Act confident by working on your self-esteem, standing up straight, speaking up for yourself, and starting conversations with people you don't know.
3
Keep your look natural to play up your innate beauty. While the 80s might have been all about piling on the dyes, makeup, and shoulder pads, these days sexy is about looking good in your natural state. If you do wear makeup, keep it subdued and as close to your natural coloring as possible.^{[6]
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Research source} The same tends to go for your clothes: skinny jeans or leggings, which show off the natural curve of your legs, are preferred over flare legged pants.
- Try styling yourself utilizing contrasting colors. If you wear light colors on your top half, wear dark colors on your bottom half. If you’d like to infuse some color, start off with an accessory such as a colorful bracelet, earrings, or an interesting necklace. Dress true to yourself and you’ll surely impress the people around you.
- Play up your best features when you can to show off that natural beauty. For example, if your best feature is your eyes, don't hide them behind glasses.
4
Practice good hygiene and stay fit. Practice good hygiene by bathing regularly, brushing your teeth, and wearing clean clothes. Exercise and eat a proper diet to get a stronger, healthier body.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} Doing things like this not only makes your body more appealing to others, but it shows that you think you're worth loving and taking care of, indicating vital self-respect.
- Practice good dental hygiene as well. This includes brushing, flossing, and even using mouth wash. Clean your tongue with a tongue cleaner or a spoon every morning for fresh breath. Get a check-up and have your teeth cleaned often.
5
Wear a subtle cologne or perfume. Smell plays a big role in sex appeal, but you might not be taking as good an approach as you think you are. Contrary to what Axe would have you believe, your best bet is a natural smell, not a cloud of body spray. Bathe regularly to cut down on the BO, and use a subtle but pleasant deodorant to keep the smell from returning. Pair with a subtle cologne or perfume (citrus is the most universally liked) if you want to, but let your natural pheromones do most of the work.^{[8]
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Get a haircut. A haircut can make a world of difference in how everyone sees you.^{[9]
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Research source} Generally, go for a sleeker look to appear sexier, but "natural" waves and curls are also considered a sexy hairstyle right now. Experiment on your own or consult with a hairstylist to find a hairstyle that looks sexy and plays up with all your best features.
- Even getting a good trim to refresh your ends can give you a boost of confidence.
7
Go for a mature look. Cute looks or young looks will either overtly or subtly turn most people off. Update your wardrobe to look more adult (not slutty, just skip out on cartoon tees and lacy dresses).^{[10]
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- For a feminine look: wear clothes that show your curves. Get a nice push-up bra and wear things like skinny jeans to show off your legs. Wear heels to correct your posture and lift your butt.
- For a masculine look: trade in those ratty jeans for some slacks and that tee shirt for a button-up. Your local thrift store will have plenty of cheap options if you don't have the money for new stuff. Shoes are also important—have at least a few nice pairs.
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Dress to attract the kind of person you're looking for. Different people are looking for different kinds of partners, and there are specific ways you can dress that attract those different kinds of people. People are often attracted to the qualities that they prioritize in themselves, so by dressing a particular way, you'll send a clear message about what you like and what kind of person you want to date.^{[11]
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- For example, if you're looking for a sporty person, wear your hair in a ponytail or sport the occasional hiking outfit or football jersey.
- If you're looking for a bit of a geek, wear some Marvel merch or your favorite bow tie.
- If you're looking for someone who's very driven, wear nicer, dressier clothes.
9
Mix it up by dressing casually occasionally. For many people, seeing someone who is usually very well dressed looking way more casual can be very sexy. This creates a feeling of intimacy like they're the only one who gets to see you as you are. You can try letting your boyfriend see you in your pajamas or wearing nothing but his tee-shirt, or let your girlfriend see you without all that gel in your hair (girls love the bedhead look).
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Don't sweat your size. Whether you're worried about stuffing a bra or about making your crotch look a little more full: don't. Media plays up the idea that people want guys with big crotches and people want women with big breasts, but the actual spectrum of preferences pretty equally runs the gamut. Lots of people like small breasts, and lots of women look at the big crotch, and just think "Ouch!"

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Personality Traits

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Develop a talent. Talent is one of the easiest ways to come across as totally sexy, even when you aren't traditionally attractive.^{[12]
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Research source} This describes most rock stars, especially from the days before auto-tune. You can take a talent you already possess and make it even more impressive, or you can learn a whole new talent. You can find basic primers on many skills right here on wikiHow, or you can take classes or even just teach yourself using online materials.
- Try playing the guitar or piano, drawing, fixing cars, computer technology skills, or other talents that speak to you.
2
Set goals for yourself. There's nothing quite as sexy as a look of passionate determination on someone's face. When you really care about something and you're working hard to get it, that impresses people. They hope to have that same quality themselves and having you around it inspires them. Find a goal for yourself and work hard to achieve it, whether it's working towards a future career or working to gain an important skill.^{[13]
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- Just wanting more from life and being able to try to get it can often be enough if you lack direction or are too young to know what you want to do.
- We also feel comforted knowing that a potential partner could carry our weight if something ever happened to us.
3
Show off your unique personality. People don't fall for one-dimensional characters: they like people with quirks and interesting things about them. By having qualities and dreams that are uniquely you, you show people a more interesting, more engaging person. There's just more to love. Let your interests and passions shine through and pursue new things that help you develop as a person.^{[14]
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- Think of it this way: would Joe Schmoe rather go for the cute waitress, or would he rather go for the cute waitress who also dreams of being a nurse?
4
Make people laugh. If you have a sense of humor, you're set. Even the most unattractive funny guys get all the ladies, right? Try to develop your sense of humor by watching stand-up comedy and paying more attention to what's going on around you. It's a habit that can be learned.^{[15]
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- And don't feel limited if you're a lady: a funny girl is just as sexy as a funny guy. People just like to laugh, it helps them when they're having a rough time, and so this is a quality that many people look for in a partner.
5
Give every sign of being a good mate. People naturally find evolutionary advantages to being sexy, even when they aren't looking for something long-term. Be good with kids (even if you don't like them or don't want them yourself) and be kind and helpful to everyone around you. This will melt the heart of anyone you try to charm.^{[16]
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6
Be yourself. Stop trying to be someone else. Often, we think we have to act like someone else to be sexy (girls imitating Kim Kardashian or guys trying to be Tom Brady). But being them isn't sexy because it shows that you're trying too hard and lack your own merits. Be you, like the things that you like, and don't apologize to anyone. That shows confidence, which is one of the sexiest things out there.^{[17]
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7
Stay away from the drama. The ridiculous shows to try to look sexy are a turn-off for most people. Real-life doesn't work like reality shows. You also don't want to keep your life full of drama. Constant fights and negative talk or gossip is a huge turn-off for most people. When you act like this, it tends to make people just wonder if you'll talk behind their back too if they dated you.

Community Q&A

Question

What if you wear a school uniform. How do you look sexy?

Community Answer

Make sure it fits nice, and look happy and confident at all times. Confidence can make anything sexy. For more ideas, see: How to Look Good in a School Uniform (Girls).
Question

What if your family disapproves of sexy clothing?

Community Answer

You can be sexy without wearing revealing clothes. Instead, try classy and minimalist looks that fit well (tailored black pants and a flowy shirt/ long black maxi skirt with sunglasses, etc.). This will make you look more mature and sexy.
Question

What do I do if I have pretty eyes (no makeup) but have glasses?

Community Answer

Glasses are very often perceived as sexy too because if they are the right shape and colour for you they can emphasize your eyes, or eye colour. Also glasses do represent intelligence and intelligence is sexy.