How to Spend Time with Your Husband at Home

Co-authored by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: November 9, 2021 References

If you and your husband haven't been feeling as close lately, it can be difficult to know how to spend your time together. Thankfully, there's a ton of creative ways to hang out with your husband that can actually strengthen your bond. This list is here to help you revive the spark in your marriage and learn new things about each other, no matter how long you've been together.

1

Cook a meal together.

Spice up your life together (literally). Choose a recipe you've never tackled before to make it a fun challenge. Turn on some music in the kitchen and catch up as you cook, divvying up the responsibilities according to what you both enjoy. Even if neither of you are super strong chefs, trying something new like this can make your time together feel fresh and exciting.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.}^{[2]
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- Alternatively, work together to make your husband's favorite meal, or try to mimic the recipe of a dish at a restaurant you both enjoy.

2

Play games all night.

Nothing passes the time quite like a heated board game battle. Break out any of the board games that are sitting in your closet, or buy a new one you've both never played before. If board games aren't your style, try video games instead. Make sure it's a two-player game so you can spend time as a twosome. Stay up late until the game is done (or at least until you beat that super hard level), and set out plenty of snacks and drinks to make it feel like a party.^{[3]
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- If you want, invite another couple over to play games with you. You can battle each other and make it a fun double-date at home.
- Playing games like this can strengthen your friendship with your husband, which can really help your marriage as well. Studies show that couples who consider themselves best friends with their partner have a happier, healthier marriage.^{[4]
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3

Learn new things together.

Nothing shakes things up like a new challenge. Sign up for a class together or make a mutual goal to learn a new skill as a couple. It will help you discover sides of yourself and your husband that you've never known before. This can do wonders to revive your marriage if it's started to feel a little dull.^{[5]
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Research source} If you're looking for ideas, try:
- Downloading a language app and learning a language together
- Taking a virtual improv class
- Signing up for an online course together at a local community college

4

Work out together.

Getting active is great for your health and your relationship. Look online for a fun at-home workout. Set up in the living room and get started! To really make things interesting, choose a workout you've both never tried before. Tackling a new challenge like this can bring you and your husband together again, especially if you feel like you've been drifting apart. As a bonus, it will also have a positive impact on your health.^{[6]
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- The internet has a plethora of workout options. Try yoga, pilates, or kickboxing.

5

Read to each other.

Reading aloud to your spouse can be surprisingly intimate. Read each other chapters from the books you're currently reading. To make things a little more romantic, read aloud some poems by your favorite poets. Take turns reading and talk about the passages after you're done.^{[7]
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- If you're not comfortable reading aloud to each other, sit next to each other while you read your own books. Studies show that reading with your partner can bring you closer and give you more interesting topics to talk about with each other.

6

Schedule a luxurious date night in.

Your time at home can still feel glamorous and romantic. Dim the lights, light some candles, and get takeout from your favorite restaurant. Dress up in something that makes you feel attractive and confident, and suggest that your husband wear something nice, too. Making your time together at home special can remind you of those magical feelings you felt when you first started dating.^{[8]
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- Make it a full restaurant experience at your home. To add to the ambiance, turn on some music.

7

Have some fun in the bedroom.

Sex is a great way to strengthen your marriage. To make things more interesting at home, talk to your husband about your fantasies and experiment. Ask your husband if there's anything he would like to try, or offer some suggestions yourself. Although every couple is different, sex can really help revive your relationship if it's feeling stuck.^{[9]
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- If you're not in the mood to have sex, try just getting close with your husband. Spend some time cuddling on your bed or holding hands while you watch TV.
- Only try things that you're both comfortable with. Sex is only enjoyable if both people feel respected and safe.

8

Engage in a deep discussion.

Talk about the news, politics, or philosophy. Though you may talk often about responsibilities, plans, and thoughts about the day, this is a good opportunity to learn new things about your partner. Bring up a topic that's been in the news and ask what your husband thinks of it. Read the same article and talk about your perspectives on it.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} Watch a documentary film and discuss what you thought after it's over. ^{[11]
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- If you're having trouble getting the conversation started, you can also try some icebreaker questions, like, "What's your philosophy in life?" or "What influenced your political beliefs to become what they are now?"^{[12]
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- You could also share what's going on in your lives, like what your day was like or something that's been frustrating at work.^{[13]
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  Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
  Licensed Professional Counselor
  Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.}
- If things get heated, remember to respect your partner's point of view. It's okay for you two to have different opinions. Take it as an opportunity to learn and grow with each other.

9

Schedule phone-free time.

Use this as an opportunity to really listen to each other. Staring at your phone instead of your partner hurts your communication as a couple. A study published in 2017 even found that it can diminish how satisfied you are in your marriage over time.^{[14]
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Research source} To avoid these negative effects, pick a time to put your phones away and talk. Alternatively, choose places in your house where you both agree to not use your phone, like the bedroom.
- When your husband talks to you, make sure to keep your eyes off your phone. Even if you get a text, wait until your conversation is over to answer it.
- Though things may come up, like work phone calls or emergencies, being more conscious of how your phone usage affects your partner makes the time you spend together more intentional.

10

Drop the kids off on a playdate for some alone time.

If you have kids, enjoy some quiet time at the house for a bit. Though you may get to spend a lot of time with your husband and family, it's important that you get some solo time together, too. Plan a play date for your kids so that they can spend time at a friend's house for the afternoon. Then, enjoy your alone time together. Make cocktails or iced tea, lounge together on the couch, and catch up.^{[15]
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Trustworthy Source
University of Rochester Medical Center
Leading academic medical center in the U.S. focused on clinical care and research
Go to source}
- As much as you love them, try not to talk about the kids. Make it a special time to talk about everything else for a little while! It will help you remember the bond the two of you share as a couple, separate from your roles as parents.
- Have fun! Joke around and laugh with each other—it will help you feel closer.^{[16]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
  Licensed Professional Counselor
  Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.}
- If you can't get a babysitter, wait until your kids go to bed and enjoy a glass of wine together on the couch!^{[17]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
  Licensed Professional Counselor
  Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.}

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I get my husband to spend more time with me?

Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Managing Director of The Counseling Hub, LLC, a group counseling practice located in Columbia, Missouri. She is also the Founder of and a Business Consultant with Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC, a consulting service for therapy practice owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method of relationship therapy with couples on the brink of divorce, who have conflict, or who feel disconnected from one another. Dr. Vossenkemper holds a BA in Psychology from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis, an MA in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis. She has also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach and has been formally trained in both the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.

Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Look for fun activities to do together! Pick an activity that you both enjoy, whether that's hiking, watching a movie, cooking, or something else entirely.
Question

What is the sweetest thing to say to your husband?

Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Managing Director of The Counseling Hub, LLC, a group counseling practice located in Columbia, Missouri. She is also the Founder of and a Business Consultant with Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC, a consulting service for therapy practice owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method of relationship therapy with couples on the brink of divorce, who have conflict, or who feel disconnected from one another. Dr. Vossenkemper holds a BA in Psychology from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis, an MA in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis. She has also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach and has been formally trained in both the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.

Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Ask him about his day! Invite him to share everything that's going on his world, from his thoughts and feelings to his fears and opinions.