How to Show Your Husband That You Love Him

Co-authored by Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Last Updated: June 24, 2022 References Approved

You may be madly in love with your husband, though you may not always know how to show it. If you want to let him know how much he means to you, then you have to know what to say to make him feel loved—while remembering that actions often speak louder than words. You can make an effort to spoil him a little bit while making him see that you love him for the person he is and that your life wouldn’t be the same without him.

This article is based on an interview with our licensed marriage and family therapist, Allen Wagner. Check out the full interview here.

Date Ideas

Sample Date Ideas for Husband

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Doing the Right Thing

1
Do little favors for him. One way to show your husband that you love him is to do little favors that let him see how much you care for him. If he’s having a busy week at work or just a rough day, then making the effort to help him out during his daily life can really show him that you love him and that you care about him.
- While you don’t need to get into the habit of doing everything for him, just doing the right favor at the right time can really show him how much you care. Here are some ideas:
- Bring him lunch to work if he forgot it.
- Pick up fresh coffee and a pastry for him in the morning if he has a big day at work.
- Pick up that book he’s been meaning to read at the store.
- Help him with a simple chore, like doing laundry or walking the dog, when he’s having a crazy week.
- Make that call to the maintenance man that he’s been putting off all week.
2
Make time for date nights. Don’t just watch a movie at home with the kids or consider your date night the afternoon you’ve spent at your company picnic.^{[1]
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- Make an effort to block off time on your calendar just for the two of you to reconnect and to be together. Though you may think you’re too busy for a traditional date night, this is an important way to show your husband you love him.
- Date night doesn’t have to mean a romantic meal and a movie, either. Think about the kind of date night that may appeal most to your husband. Maybe you can mix things up and check out the new brewery in town or go to a ball game, for a change.
- If you plan at least a few date nights per month on your calendar in advance, then this will show that you love him and want to make the effort.
- Look nice on your date night and show him that you really care. Take time with your hair, clothes, and jewelry so he sees that you treat it as a special occasion.
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3
Give him a massage. Sometimes, the best way you can show your love is through action. If your husband had a long day at work, or even if he just looks a little down, take the time to massage his neck, back, shoulders, or, if you’re really feeling loving, his feet.
4
Have him lay down and really get the kinks out of his back. This can be a great way to show your love just because, or an amazing way to transition into some foreplay.
- If you do this when he least expects it, it may get the best results. If he’s just sitting at his desk, looking over some paperwork, or reading a magazine on the couch, give him a sneak massage attack.
- Just be gentle, especially with his feet, if you haven’t done this before. He may be more ticklish than you expected.
5
Make an effort to get along with his family. If you really want to show your husband that you love him, then you have to make him see that you’re determined to have a positive relationship with his family, even if you don’t always get along.
- Even if his mother is about as welcoming as an angry poodle, you have to do your best to try to at least be cordial with his family and avoid bad-mouthing them as much as you can so he sees that his love is more important to you than the fact that you have nothing in common with his sister.
- Of course, sometimes, it can feel nearly impossible to get along with your in-laws. But if you at least make an effort, then your husband will see that he really does mean a lot to you.
- Try reaching out to his family more, whether you call them, invite them to lunch, or send flowers on birthdays and important occasions.
6
Embark on new adventures together. Another way to show your husband you love him is to go on new adventures together to keep your relationship fresh. This can mean trying to go scuba-diving, taking a biking trip along the California coast, or even taking a salsa class. It’s not really important what you do, as long as you make an effort to keep things feeling new and exciting.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.}
- The fact that you’re not resigned to doing the same old thing day after day will show your husband how much you love him.
- Make sure to stick to some of your favorite traditions. If you want to show your husband that you really love him, then continue going to your favorite restaurant once a month, watching your favorite show together, and even seeing your old favorite band, even if you both agree it’s not as good as it used to be, if you think you can still make a fun night of it.
- You don’t need to try too hard to try a million new things at once, or that will get overwhelming. Make an effort to do one or two completely new things together a month, whether you’re hiking or making pasta from scratch, and take it from there.
7
Keep things fresh in the bedroom. Though making love isn’t the only way you can show how much you care, making an effort to have a passionate, exciting time in the bedroom can make your husband see that you really do care for him. ^{[3]
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- Make sure you’re in the mood and that you’re not just doing it to cross an item off your checklist, and take the time to explore your husband’s body in a sensual and exciting way.
- It’s never too late to try a new position or to make love in a new place. As long as you’re comfortable with it, this can be a great way to show him how much you care.
- If you don’t feel corny about it, wearing some sexy lingerie never hurt anyone.
- You can even invest in some massage oils or body lotion that can make things feel more sensual.
- Ask your husband what he really wants from you, and encourage him not to hold back. As long as you’re comfortable with it, this can help show him how much you love him—just make sure you’re getting something in return.
8
Respect his independence. You may think that the only way you can show your husband how much you love him is by getting closer to him, but sometimes, the best way to show how much you care is to give him the space he needs and deserves.^{[4]
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- Let him have a night out with his buddies, encourage him to go camping with his brother, and don’t get annoyed when he’d rather spend the evening reading or working out than having dinner with you.
- Though he should still make time for you, you don’t want to smother him, or he actually will end up feeling more suffocated than loved.
- Letting your husband have his own life and spend time with his own friends is perfectly healthy. In fact, spending more time apart will make you appreciate each other more when you’re together.
- Don’t be jealous. If you have no reason to be jealous, then give your husband the respect he deserves by not calling him every two seconds when he’s out with his friends or giving him the stink eye any time he talks to another woman.
9
Embrace his interests once in a while. Though you don’t need to be obsessed with his favorite baseball team or band all the time, if you want to show him you love him, you should show an interest in the things he cares about and do them with him, if that would suit him.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.}
- If he’s been trying to get you to go to a Knicks game for years, get him tickets to one on his birthday. If he’s been wanting you to try brewing your own beer with him, spend a Sunday having fun in the kitchen with him instead of rolling your eyes.
- Though you don’t have to be one of those couples who does everything together, if you want to show him you love him, then you should make an effort to appreciate the things he loves, at least once in a while.
- Your relationship can grow stronger if you introduce him to more of the things you love, too. Though you shouldn’t force him to go to yoga with you, you may be able to find something that he would actually like, like the new Thai place you’ve been hitting up with your friends.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Saying the Right Thing

1
Encourage him. Sometimes, the best way you can make your husband see how much you love him is to encourage him through your words. Make him feel good about the new project he’s been working on, his new job interview, or about patching things up with his father.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.}
- Be there to make him feel good about himself instead of cutting him down for no reason. Let him see that you think he’s an amazing man with endless potential; sometimes, your words can make him feel better about himself than anything else.
- Simply saying something like, “You’re so good with people. I’m sure you have nothing to be nervous about. I think you’ll love working on this new project,” can make him feel more confident in his actions.
- You can also say, “You’re so determined that I have no doubt you’ll be able to run this marathon. I don’t know anyone who works as hard as you.”
2
Tell him that you love him. Saying “I love you” can often do the trick best of all. Make an effort to tell your husband you love him at least once a day and to look him in the eyes when you say it so he knows you mean it.
- Make eye contact and stop everything to get this message across instead of saying “Love ya!” like you’re just required to say it.
- Put your heart into him and let him know how loved he truly is.
- Though telling him you love him in person is most effective, saying these words over the phone or over email can also make him feel more loved.
- Don’t just say “I love you” when you’re on a date or going through a hard time. Sometimes, saying it just because will yield the best results.
3
Give him sweet compliments. Taking the time to compliment your husband can also make him feel loved. Tell him how handsome he looks in his new shirt, say that he always knows how to make you laugh, and tell him that he’s incredibly good with new people.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.}
- Find a way to make him see that you truly think he’s special, and do your best to make sure that your compliments are genuine and that you’re not just saying them to butter him up
- If you have kids, make sure they hear you praising their father so they know how amazing he is. Here are some other examples of things you can say to show how much you love him:
- “You were the best-looking man at that party. I’m always so proud to be by your side.”
- “You’re so good with kids. I don’t know how you do it.”
- “You always know what to say to make me feel better. You have a talent for it.”
- “I’m so thankful to be with someone who is always reading so much. It’s refreshing to be with someone who is so excited about the world.”
4
Ask him about his day. Just making an effort to show that you want to know how your husband’s day went can show him how much you love him.
- When you’re both home from work, or if you’ve spent a weekend day apart, check in when you see him to make sure that he had a good day and show interest in what he did.
- Though you don’t need to interrogate him or ask about every little thing, taking the time to see how his day went will show that you really love him.
- If you know that he had an important day, such as a big presentation at work or a tense reunion with a friend he hadn’t seen in a long time, make sure you follow up about him so he knows you care.
- When you ask how his day went, don’t just ask in passing, but stop what you’re doing to make him see that it really matters to you.
5
Send him sweet text messages. Another way to show your husband that you love him is to send him a sweet text message to show how much you care. As long as it is sincere and makes him smile, you’ll be on your way to making him feel more loved.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.}
- Simply telling him how much you love him, that you had a great time in bed last night, or that you’re looking forward to your date night, can make him feel that he really matters to you.
- If you’re not big on texting, sending him a sweet message at an unexpected time can really make an impact.
- Though you shouldn’t only express how much you care about him through texting, it can be a nice supplement.
6
Practice open communication. If you want your husband to see that you love him, then you should show him that you’re willing to talk to him about anything and that you’re happy to have an honest and open conversation with him.^{[9]
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- If he wants to bring up something important, put away all of your distractions, take the time to really listen to what he’s saying, and respond to him when it’s your turn to talk, making sure that he sees your side of the situation as respectfully as possible.
- Making an effort to really talk to him instead of being passive aggressive or short with him will really show him how much you love him.
- Listening is a big part of communicating. Just hearing what he has to say without interrupting him or disagreeing with him can make a huge impact on your relationship.
- Be as honest as you can. Though the occasional white lie won’t hurt him, make sure you don’t keep secrets from him or make him feel like he’s shut out from your life.
7
Compromise. Another way to show your husband that you really love him is to be able to compromise about the things that matter to you both. Find a way to sometimes get what you want, sometimes give him what he wants, and to compromise on situations where there’s something possible for both of you. Compromising is an important part of showing your love because this will make your husband see that you really do care whether or not he’s fulfilled and happy.^{[10]
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- Strong communication is important because it will let you see what things really matter to your husband, and what he is willing to let go.
- Work on striking a balance. You can pick the movie for date night, and he can pick the dinner spot.
- Be willing to see that being happy is often more important than being right and that it’s not important for you to get your way every single time. When you give him what he wants, don’t resent him for it the whole time. For example, if you agree to go to his brother’s barbecue instead of your friend’s birthday party, don’t sulk the whole time you’re there, or he’ll see that you’re not really willing to compromise after all.
8
Say you’re sorry. To show your husband that you love him, it’s important to swallow your pride and to say you’re sorry when you’ve made a mistake. Stop everything you’re doing, look him in the eye, and tell him that you truly apologize for what you did and that you’re filled with regret and promise not to do it again^{[11]
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- Let him see that hurting or upsetting him really did have an impact on you, and that you love him so much that you’re deeply sorry about whatever happened. He’ll see how much you love him because he’ll be impressed that you’re able to humble yourself and fess up.
- Just remember that while saying you’re sorry is important, it can be even more important to stick to your word. If you apologize for being snappy with his friends, you should really make an effort not to do it again.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Getting Creative

1
Write a message on the bathroom mirror. While your husband is taking a hot shower, sneak into the bathroom and write “I love you” on the steamy mirror. He’ll have a pleasant surprise waiting for him when he gets out of the shower.
- As long as you don’t freak him out when you sneak in the bathroom, he’ll be touched by this sweet and creative gesture.
- If you don’t think the steam approach will work, write him a sweet post-it before you leave for the day and stick it on the bathroom mirror, so it’s one of the first things he sees when he gets up.
2
Make him love-themed breakfast in bed. Everyone deserves to be spoiled with some breakfast in bed every once in a while. Whether it’s his birthday, Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, or just a random day when you want to show him how much he means to you, you should get up early and make him a fun, love-themed breakfast that shows him how much he means to you.
- Make sure he’s not busy and in the mood to enjoy your delicious treats, and you’ll be showing him how much you love him. If you have kids, they can help you serve him.
- Heart shaped pancakes with some halved strawberries can be a cute way to show him how much he means to you.
- If he’s more into bacon and eggs, you can make him a smiley face out of egg eyes and a bacon mouth, and have him laughing over how hard you tried.
- If you really want to hammer home the point that you’re being romantic, then make some chocolate-covered strawberries and serve them as a side dish or place them over his Belgian waffle.
- If you want to be funny, make him Eggs Benedict with some hollandaise-sauce shaped hearts over them.
3
Mail him a love letter. Getting a love letter from his wife will be much more romantic for your husband than dealing with the usual junk mail and bills.^{[12]
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- Take the time to write him a long, sweet letter that explains just how much he means to you and try to time it so he gets it before your date night or another important occasion. He should be the one who checks the mail that day, and you should make sure not to give your secret away.
  - This will be a great way to show him you love him in a new and creative way.
- Have you ever written your husband a love letter before? If you haven’t, then this can be an original and exciting way to take your relationship to a new level.
4
Plan a fun weekend getaway. Another way to show your husband that you love him is to try to have a change of scenery for the weekend.
- Though you don’t have to spend a lot of money or go very far, just taking a weekend trip to go hiking, check out wine country, or spend some time relaxing on the beach can help you show your husband how much you love him in a new context.
- Though you can’t always get away, this can be a great change of pace and can let him see how much he really means to you.
- If you’re stumped about where to go, try to think of something that would appeal more to him than to what your idea of a romantic getaway will be. Sure, you may think hiking is romantic, but if he’s more into city life, then you should plan an urban adventure instead.
5
Go camping in your backyard. You may not have the time or energy for a full-on camping trip, or you may just not feel like exploring the wilderness. Well, camping in your own backyard can be a fun and silly way to show your husband how much you love him—and a great way to get the kids involved, if you have any. Just set the tent up in the backyard together, roast some hot dogs over the campfire, and have S’mores for dessert and you’ll be on the way to getting your groove back.
- Your husband may be reluctant, at first, but you can convince him that this can be an easy and fun way to have an adventure together. If you bring games, like ring toss or even a Frisbee, that can make it feel even more like a getaway.
6
Get really dressed up for a night out.
- Though you don’t need to always dress to the nines to show your husband how much you love him, you can really kick your romance up a notch and show him how much you love him if you make an effort to dress up for each other when you go out on certain occasions.
- Have dinner at a fancy restaurant, go to the opera, or even go to your favorite local bar and get dressed up ironically for a fun night out.
- How often do you get to wear your formal clothes? Though this may not be something you do all the time, bringing out your favorite dress and heels and having your husband wear a suit can make you feel more loving and romantic and will make him see how much you love him.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Be Receptive and Responsive

1
Recognise when your husband is trying to show you he loves you, some of them have a funny way of showing it sometimes, and respond.
- You don't have to, for example, gush enthusiastically about the new iron board cover he bought you on the spur of the moment, but if he remembered to get one in your favourite colour, show him some love by acknowledging that fact at least.
- If you can't imagine your husband ever doing anything in these steps for you it's ok to not feel obligated to make so much effort. Marriages are partnerships, both people have to work at it, there needs to be give and take from both sides.

Expert Q&A
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Question

What if I have trouble opening up to my husband?

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Allen Wagner is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his Master's in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004. He specializes in working with individuals and couples on ways they can improve their relationships. Along with his wife, Talia Wagner, he's the author of Married Roommates.

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Opening up is difficult, but it's mandatory in any healthy relationship. Try to force yourself to be vulnerable and communicative. If you can just get the ball rolling, it will be much easier to do in the future.
Question

What should I do if my husband picks fights with me?

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Allen Wagner is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his Master's in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004. He specializes in working with individuals and couples on ways they can improve their relationships. Along with his wife, Talia Wagner, he's the author of Married Roommates.

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

People are rarely angry for no reason, so there's probably something going on there that the two of you haven't worked through. Try to ask them why they've been so on edge recently. If this problem is especially bad, it may be a good idea to seek couples counseling.
Question

How can I keep that romantic spark after our kids have moved out of the house?

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Allen Wagner is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his Master's in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004. He specializes in working with individuals and couples on ways they can improve their relationships. Along with his wife, Talia Wagner, he's the author of Married Roommates.

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

You've probably been in the habit of doing so many chores and tasks that you haven't had much time for romance the past few years. That can make this a little tricky, and it's not going to happen naturally if you don't make an active effort to do romantic things together. Schedule date nights, make time for one another, and put in a serious effort to create time for your relationship.