How to Make Your Husband Happy

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: April 8, 2022 References

Keeping a marriage fresh and exciting can be challenging amidst the stress of daily life. Whether you just got married or you’re approaching your fiftieth anniversary, romantic relationships take a bit of thought and preparation to stay healthy and flourishing. Thankfully, there are small things that you can do to keep your husband happy and let him know that you love him more and more each day. Remember, you know your husband the best, so don’t be afraid to mix it up a little or try something you know he’ll love.

1

Cook him his favorite dinner.^{[1]
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Does your husband love spaghetti and meatballs, or is he a dessert kind of guy? Whatever his favorite food is, try whipping it up when he’s had a hard day or you just want to show your appreciation for him.
- The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, after all.
- If you aren’t sure what to make, whip out a recipe book and try something you’ve never had before. You might just discover your new favorite dish!
- Little things like this can let him know you’re thinking of him without a ton of effort.

2

Put on a sexy outfit.^{[2]
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Flannel pajamas are cute, but what about some lingerie or some see-through undies? You can really rev his engine by prepping yourself for the bedroom.
- There are tons of places to buy sexy outfits online, or you can visit an adult store in-person.
- Make sure he’s in the mood before you change into your outfit—if he’s tired or grumpy, he might not fully appreciate the effort.

3

Spice up your sex life.^{[3]
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No matter how long you’ve been together, sex is a huge part of romantic relationships. If you’re bored of your sex life as it is now, try spicing it up with something fresh. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to run out and purchase a toy for the bedroom—it can be as simple as having sex in the morning when you usually have sex at night, trying sex in a different room than usual, or getting a little playful in the bedroom if you’re normally super serious.
- If you aren’t sure what to try, ask him! You two can talk about some fun things to do together as a couple.

4

Give him a massage.^{[4]
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Everyone likes a good shoulder rub after a tough day, and your husband is no exception. Sit him down, grab a bottle of lotion, and get to massaging his back, shoulders, and even his feet!
- To make it a sensual massage, dim the lights and light some candles to set the mood.
- Massages from a licensed massage therapist can be expensive, so a DIY one will show your love for him without breaking the bank. It’s a win-win!

5

Cook him breakfast in bed.^{[5]
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Lazy Saturday mornings can only be improved by eating pancakes while cuddling in bed. Tell him to stay nestled in the blankets while you whip up a little breakfast and coffee. Put it on a tray for some specialized room service to make him feel great.
- Stick to solid foods for breakfast in bed. Cereal and oatmeal are both delicious, but they have a tendency to spill—and when you’re eating over your pillow, that’s not something either of you want to deal with.

6

Grab a few gifts for him while you’re out.^{[6]
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If you’re ever out shopping and spy an item that your husband would love, grab it! Surprise gifts are always welcome, and they’ll brighten his day no matter what.
- The gifts don’t have to be huge or expensive. Candy, hats, T-shirts, underwear, or even some fun socks all show that you care about him.

7

Be a good listener.^{[7]
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There are tons of distractions vying for your attention on a day to day basis. However, when your husband has something to say, you should give him your full attention. Think about how you’d like to be listened to when you talk, then do the same.^{[8]
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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} You can lead by example for a happier, healthier partnership.
- Turn off the TV, put down your phone, and turn to look at him when he talks. Ask follow-up questions to show that you’re really listening, and add to the conversation, if you can.
- For example, you could say something like, “That’s so interesting. Tell me more!” Or, “I bet that made you feel weird, huh?”

8

Say “Hi” and “Goodbye” to your husband.^{[9]
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It may not sound like much, but greetings can make a huge difference. This will reassure him that you like spending time with him, and it lets him look forward to when you get to see each other again.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- When you get home from work, greet your husband enthusiastically with a long kiss.
- When it’s time for one of you to leave, give him a hug and tell him you’re looking forward to seeing him later.

9

Schedule a weekly date night.^{[11]
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It’s easy to get lost in work, kids, and responsibilities. However, date nights can let you reconnect as a couple and catch up with each other as partners, not as parents or managers of your household.
- Try to do a date night at least once a week where you can go out to dinner or sit down for a meal just the two of you.
- Maybe you two can take turns on coming up with date suggestions so you don’t feel bogged down with the responsibility.

10

Try new things together.^{[12]
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Branching out to try new things is always fun, especially with your husband. Think of a few activities you’ve never done (either on your own or separately), then make a plan to try some of them out.
- You could go snowboarding, jet skiing, fishing, wine tasting, or even snorkeling.
- You might even find a new activity that you two can do together on a regular basis!
- You can incorporate these new activities into your date nights, too.

11

Compliment your husband often.^{[13]
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Men usually don’t get a lot of compliments, so they tend to remember them more. If your husband is looking cute today, did something sweet for you, or you’re just feeling plain lucky, give him a quick compliment to let him know you’re thinking about him.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- Even just a quick, “You look nice today babe” is a great confidence-booster.

12

Take over his chores if he had a bad day.^{[15]
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Sometimes the day is extra tough, and your husband might be extra grumpy. To make him feel a little better, take over his chores or responsibilities, if you can. This doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but it can make a hard day a little bit better.
- If he normally cooks, take over for the night. If he usually folds the laundry, do it for him so he doesn’t have to worry about it.
- Then, whenever you have a bad day, you might be able to ask him to take over your chores for the night. It’s a win-win situation!

13

Support your husband in trying new things.^{[16]
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You may notice your husband change and grow the longer you’re together. If you notice your husband getting into a new hobby, career path, or professional field, let him know that you have his back and you’ll support him no matter what.
- You can show an interest in his new hobby or job by asking questions and listening to him intently when he tells you about it.
- Not having the support of your partner can make trying something new even more difficult, so it’s important to lift your husband up as he branches out.
- If he’s trying something new that you’re interested in, see if you can join in too.

14

Bring up problems directly.^{[17]
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Communication is a key factor in any relationship, but it’s ultra important in romantic ones. If you’re having issues with your relationship, sit down with your husband and talk. It can be scary to talk about your issues, so try facing the problem head on.^{[18]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- For example, “Hey babe, can we talk? I wanted to have a conversation about keeping the house clean throughout the week.”
- Then, use “I” statements, like, “When the house is dirty, I feel stressed out. Could we work on that together?”

15

Work on solving problems together.^{[19]
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Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
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Every couple argues from time to time, and it’s healthy to work out your disagreements. However, if every argument leads to a yelling blowout, your problems might not be getting solved very effectively.
- Try to work through problems with an “us vs. the problem” mentality, not “you vs. your husband.”
- For example, maybe you feel like you’ve been doing all the housework. You can tell your husband how you feel by saying, “I think I’ve been taking on more responsibility around the house. Could we maybe set up a chore chart to divvy up the jobs evenly?”

16

Don’t forget to make time for yourself.^{[20]
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Being a good partner also means taking care of your own needs. Make sure you’re eating well, practicing good hygiene, exercising regularly, and keeping a positive attitude. If you’re happy, your husband will be happy too!
- Plus, getting some alone time is beneficial for both of you.

Community Q&A

Question

What can I do to stop arguing with my husband?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Some arguments / disagreements are normal, but arguing all the time can indicate deeper issues. If you two can't seem to work out your problems on your own, you may consider seeing a couple's therapist.
Question

I'm not romantic, and neither is my husband. What should we do?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Romance isn't for everyone! If it's not what makes you or your husband happy, you don't have to do romantic things. You know your partner the best, so stick to what makes you both happy.
Question

My husband wants a baby and I'm not ready for one. What should I do?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Having a child is a huge decision, and it should not be taken lightly. If you're not ready for a baby, you should not have a child yet. Sit down with your husband and talk about your future together and when you'd like to have kids.