How to Make Your Husband Feel Loved

Co-authored by Jacqueline House, LMFT-A and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: September 29, 2022 References

Your husband is an amazing man, and you love him with all of your heart. It’s easy for couples to fall into a day-to-day routine, so you might want to do something special to remind your husband how much you love him. We’re here to help you show your hubby how important he is to you. We’ve compiled the ultimate guide for making your husband feel loved, so keep reading for easy tips you can do right now.

1

Tell him you love him every day.

Show him your feelings for him will never fade. You’ve probably said “I love you” thousands of times, but it’s still just as meaningful. Remind him often that you’re just as in love now as you were the day you first said you love him.^{[1]
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- You could also text him a gif or meme that says, “I love you.” He’ll appreciate the sweet sentiment.
- In addition to telling him you love him, show him unconditional love.

2

Flirt with him.

Flirting with your husband will boost his self-esteem. Since you’re already married, take a hands on approach to flirting by intimately touching him when you pass him.^{[2]
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Research source} You could also gently tease him by giving him a playful nickname or by telling him what you want to do to him when you’re alone.
- You might nickname him, “Stud muffin,” or “Hottie.”
- Tell him things like, “I can’t wait to squeeze your butt later,” or “I’m going to kiss you all over when I get you alone.”

3

Show him affection.

Touching each other every day will deepen your connection. It’s also an easy way to show your hubby you love him. Hug him, hold his hand, kiss him, and cuddle him on the couch to be more affectionate. He’ll feel your love for him—literally.
- Public displays of affection (PDA) are also important. Hold his hand when you’re out in public or give him a peck on the cheek.^{[3]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  HelpGuide
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
  Go to source} He’ll always know he’s your number one!

4

Ask him how he’s doing.

Involve yourself in what he’s doing at work and at home. When you love someone, you take an interest in their life. Though you’re married, there’s still things to learn about each other. Inquire about his hobbies, and get the details about what he’s doing at work.^{[4]
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Research source} Ask him things like:
- “What did you do at work today?”
- “How is your project going?”
- “How was poker night?”
- “What are you building right now?”

5

Spend time with him every day.

Quality time together helps you have a strong relationship. By making him a priority, you’ll show him he’s important to you and make him feel loved. Take time out of your day to enjoy his company. Here are some ways you might spend more time with him:
- Grab lunch together during a work day.
- Take turns planning dates.
- Cuddle and drink wine after the kids go to bed.
- Have a movie night on the weekend.
- Walk the dog together.
- Do a video call if one of you is traveling or working out of town.

6

Put your phone away and focus on him.

Give him your full attention to deepen your connection. While it’s important to stay connected to people you care about, your phone can be a major distraction. Your husband might feel like an afterthought if you’re on your phone while interacting with him. Set aside some phone-free time to really connect with him.^{[5]
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- Ask him to put his phone away, too. You might say, “I was hoping we could mute our phones during dinner tonight so we can focus on our conversation,” or “Do you think we can silence our phones for the next hour so we can be in the moment with each other?”

7

Compliment your husband daily.

Remind him every day that you find him special. Tell him he’s handsome, talented, and a great partner. When you compliment him, be specific about what you love about him.^{[6]
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Research source} This is especially true if your husband's love language is words of affirmation. Always take this in consideration when choosing a compliment or a way of making him feel more appreciated. You could say:
- “You’re so handsome.”
- “You’re the funniest person I know.”
- “I love your laugh.”
- “You look so sexy today.”
- “I love how intelligent you are.”

8

Praise him in front of others.

Boost his ego by bragging about how great a husband he is. When you’re around family and friends, tell them all about your partner’s accomplishments and contributions to your household. Keep touting his positive qualities even if he brushes off your comments. He’ll appreciate that you value him so much as a partner.^{[7]
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Research source} Say something like:
- “Omar plans the most romantic dates. I’m so lucky to have him.”
- “Simon works so hard and still makes time to coach the kids.”
- “Ang is always there for me.”

9

Leave him love notes.

Sweet messages remind him how much you love him. Put notes in places he’ll find them, like on the bathroom mirror or in his work bag. You could write a short message on a sticky note, or draft a longer love letter. He’ll feel cherished every time he finds a note.^{[8]
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- Put a post-it on the bathroom mirror that says, “I love you, handsome.”
- Leave a note in his briefcase that says, “You’re the best! Have a great day.”
- Place a short letter on his nightstand that reads, “I love you so much. You make me so happy, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”

10

Do him a favor.

When he’s busy, take care of one of his chores. Help him out so life’s a little easier, and he has more time to relax when he needs it most. You might take out the trash, wash a load of dishes, or make him lunch. He’ll appreciate your assistance and know how much you love him.^{[9]
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- You could also surprise him by doing something he just doesn’t like doing. For instance, you might offer to walk your dog when it’s his turn because you enjoy it more than he does.
- Whenever possible, do something for your partner that is completely spontaneous, but don't let him know. Soon, it will get to a point where you're doing things for him without even thinking about it. It will definitely make him feel more appreciated.

11

Offer him his favorite foods.

As the saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. While you’re at the store, grab your hubby’s favorite snacks. You could also make his favorite meal for dinner or surprise him with breakfast in bed. Sometimes all it takes to make your husband feel loved is a plate of fresh-baked cookies or a pan of brownies.^{[10]
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- When your husband gushes about a meal, make a note so you can cook it again.
- If you’re not a great cook, grab your hubby’s favorite takeout dishes.

12

Join in with his hobbies.

Be a part of what’s important to him. Pick a hobby that genuinely interests you, and immerse yourself in it. Then, invite him to enjoy the hobby with you. He’ll feel like you really care about him, and it’ll help you build a healthy relationship.^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- Talk to your hubby about which hobbies he’d enjoy doing with you. For instance, he might love having you join a role-playing game like Dungeons & Dragons or going to sports games with him.

13

Dress up for him sometimes.

Getting all dolled up shows him you’re still trying to impress him. Sure, he loves you just as much when you’re wearing sweatpants as he does when you’re all decked out. At the same time, spending a little more time on your appearance will make him feel loved. Dress to impress on date nights, or put on some sexy jammies for bedtime occasionally.^{[12]
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- Wearing sexy lingerie is also a fun way to dress up for your man.
- Life gets super busy, so it might help to plan ahead for dress up dates.

14

Give him a thoughtful gift.

A small token of your affection will remind him he’s loved. Buy him something he’s been wanting or get something that reminds him of you. If he’s been super busy lately, you might put together a care package for him or get him something to help him relax. Any gift will make him feel special.^{[13]
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Research source} Here are some fun ideas:
- A book he’s been wanting to read.
- The latest video game.
- A snack sampler.
- Beard oil.
- A care package with his favorite candy, a package of international coffee, and a scalp massager.

15

Initiate sex.

Men feel desired when their wives initiate sex. Walk up to him and give him a passionate kiss, then pull him close to you. Then, invite him to get a little more comfortable with you. He’ll be excited that you want him, and he’ll feel very loved.^{[14]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- You might also try sending him flirty text messages all day leading up to date night. Tell him that you’re looking forward to ending the evening in the bedroom. Say, “I can’t wait to take those clothes off of you,” or “Tonight is going to be hot.”

16

Show appreciation for what he does.

Tell him his contributions to your family are valuable. Chances are, he does a lot for you and your kids, if you have any. Be sure to acknowledge what he does to keep your home running, and thank him for his hard work. Your appreciate will remind him he’s truly loved.^{[15]
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Research source} You might say:
- “Thank you for doing the dishes.”
- “I really appreciate your help with the laundry this week.”
- “Thanks for picking up dinner tonight.”
- “I really appreciate all the extra hours you worked to pay for our vacation.”

17

Ask him for his advice.

Letting your husband help you shows him you trust him. Additionally, telling him about your problems helps him stay plugged-in to your life, which strengthens your bond.^{[16]
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Research source} Make a point to ask him for help, and then follow through on his advice. You might say something like:
- “Which outfit do you think I should wear to dinner tonight?”
- “What color do you like best for the living room walls?”
- “Do you think I should talk to Sarah about what happened?”
- “I need advice on how to convince my boss that this new project is a good idea.”

18

Give him space.

Each of you needs time to do things independently. Time apart is just as important as your time together. Both of you need space to have friends, hobbies, and interests that don’t involve your spouse.^{[17]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} Encourage him to maintain his friendships, and take time to see your friends, as well. Giving him freedom to do what he likes will make him feel very loved.^{[18]
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- Your relationship will be so much healthier if you spend some time apart a few times a month. Use this time to do something you enjoy. This is a great opportunity for each of you to engage in hobbies or interests the other doesn’t like.

Expert Q&A

Question

What makes a man feel respected in a relationship?

Jacqueline House, LMFT-A
Marriage and Family Therapist Associate
Jacqueline House is a Marriage and Family Therapist Associate. She specializes in using Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Collaborative Therapy, ACT Therapy, and Narrative Therapy to help her patients through problems such as anxiety and life transitions. Jacqueline earned a BA in Philosophy from Texas A&M University and an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Our Lady of the Lake University.

Jacqueline House, LMFT-A

Marriage and Family Therapist Associate

Expert Answer

Practice active listening! Listening carefully to your partner and asking questions helps show that you respect and appreciate them.
Question

How can I improve my connection with my partner?

Jacqueline House, LMFT-A
Marriage and Family Therapist Associate
Jacqueline House is a Marriage and Family Therapist Associate. She specializes in using Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Collaborative Therapy, ACT Therapy, and Narrative Therapy to help her patients through problems such as anxiety and life transitions. Jacqueline earned a BA in Philosophy from Texas A&M University and an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Our Lady of the Lake University.

Jacqueline House, LMFT-A

Marriage and Family Therapist Associate

Expert Answer

Invite your partner to take a love languages exam with you. Knowing each other's love languages helps you tailor and pinpoint the best ways to reassure one another. For instance, one person might have acts of service as their love language, while the other might have words of affirmation.