14+ Messages to Subtly Tease a Guy over Text

Written by Collette Gee | Edited by Amy Bobinger

Last Updated: February 13, 2023 References

When you're into a guy, sometimes you want to flirt without being too obvious. Text teasing is a great way to get him interested, but you can still play it off so you don't have to move faster than you want to.^{[1]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.} We've rounded up some of our favorite suggestions to give his imagination just the right amount of fuel. He won't be able to stop thinking about you!

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Collette Gee. Check out the full interview here.

1

Stick to what feels natural.

Even when you're flirting, you should still be yourself. Sure, there's a certain amount of swagger you might put on when you're being flirty, and you might have to push out of your comfort zone just a little. But the most important thing is that you should be comfortable being yourself! If he's worth your time, he'll appreciate you for exactly who you are.
- If you're a little shy when it comes to flirting, it's totally okay to go slow and stick to a more subtle approach.
- Similarly, pick up on his vibes to get a feel for what he's into. If he goes quiet after you poke fun at him, he might not be into that, but if he laughs really hard, you can keep teasing him that way.

2

Use punctuation and emojis to hint at your meaning.

This will add nuance to your texts. Since he can't hear your voice or see your face over text, your guy might need a little extra help to catch your flirtatious vibes. Emojis are the perfect way to add a little clarity—if you drop that heart-eye emoji, he's going to know exactly what you mean! And if you add an ellipsis to the end of your text, he's definitely going to be wondering what you didn't say.^{[2]
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Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- "Hey... ;)"
- "I can't wait to see you..."
- "I keep thinking about you 😉"
- "You are 🔥🔥😍"

3

Give him a silly nickname and use it when you're texting.

This will create more intimacy between the two of you. As an added bonus, it will probably make him laugh. It needs to be something that you only use when the two of you are alone, though—otherwise, he might get embarrassed.^{[3]
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- For instance, you might say, "Hi sexy pants!"
- Try coming up with a nickname that calls back to an inside joke between the two of you, like "Old lady slayer" if he told you he always gets hit on by cute little old ladies at the grocery store.
- Or, give him a nickname to tease him about something he did, like calling him "James Bond" because of his skill tracking down your number.

4

Act like you're not that interested in him.

Lightly ribbing him can make him more excited to see you. A little friendly banter can make him feel like he needs to chase you—as long as you don't go too far. Just pull back a little and pretend you're not quite as into him as you really are. When you mix that into your flirting, you'll drive him crazy wondering how you really feel! Try saying things like: ^{[4]
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- "Who said I want to see you?"
- "You'll have to work harder than that to get a date from me!"
- "I mean, I guess I can make a few minutes to talk to you..."
- "Everybody knows you think I'm cute!"

5

Don't say anything.

Sometimes it's better to make him wait for a couple of hours. Let him wonder what you're up to! That doesn't mean you have to play games where you put your phone down and don't answer for exactly 13 minutes. Instead, go find something to do—hang out with your friends, clean up your room, or take a walk. You can even take a picture of yourself to send to him later!^{[5]
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- A good guy will love knowing you're out there being your best self instead of sitting by the phone waiting for his text—even if he secretly can't wait to hear from you again.

6

Poke fun at some of his habits.

A little playful teasing can spark the chemistry between you. Everybody has a few things that they do over and over, often without realizing it. Teasing him about these things can actually be flattering since it means you're noticing details about him.^{[6]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.} Just make sure to keep it light-hearted, since you don't want to hurt his feelings. And if he seems offended, give him a compliment to balance it out. For instance, you could say:^{[7]
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- "Oh come on, you can't pass a mirror without checking yourself out."
- "I'll see you for dinner. I bet you're planning to wear that purple shirt again—you pick it every time we go downtown!"
- "Will you and your Dodgers hat be at the party tomorrow?"

7

Echo back whatever he just said.

Repeat his last message for a cute way to tease. Obviously this won't work for all messages—if he's talking about something sad or stressful, definitely hold off. However, if he's being cute and flirty, or even if you're just chatting about every-day stuff, this can be a fun way to mix things up. Just add a smile emoji at the end so he knows you're playing around.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- For instance, if he says, "I can't, I have a game Saturday," you might say, "I have a game Saturday :)"
- If he says "I like your smile" you could say, "I like YOUR smile!"

8

Give him a compliment that shows you're into him.

A little flattery will get you everywhere. If you want to up the flirtation factor, go beyond just complimenting his gorgeous eyes or charming smile.^{[9]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.} Sure, those things are cute, but what makes him really special? You can always play it off later, but if you drop one of these compliments into your text, he's going to know you've been thinking about him. Try something like:^{[10]
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Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- "You're the best listener."
- "I can tell you've been hitting the gym extra hard lately. Your abs look amazing!"
- "Ugh that shirt looks so good on you!"
- "I love your arms. You're so strong!"

9

Tell him you wish he was with you.

If you've had a tough day, let him know. He'll instantly start thinking of ways he could help. In fact, he might just show up ready to put a smile on your face. Don't be afraid to give him specifics about what you had in mind, like:^{[11]
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- "I wish you were here to make me feel better."
- "I had the toughest workout. I wish you could come give me a massage."
- "Ugh work was so stressful. I really need a hug."
- "I need some cuddles to get my mind off of things!"
- "I'm so bored... I bet you could entertain me, though."

10

Ask him what you should wear.

Send him a couple of outfit pics and ask him for help. Choose two outfits that you know make you look great and snap a pic of each. Then, send them to him and ask him which one he likes better. He'll love being asked for his opinion, but even better than that, he'll be picturing just how good those clothes will look on (and maybe off) you.^{[12]
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- Add a little detail if needed, like "This one with knee-high boots" or "This shirt with an extra button undone."
- If you're heading to the pool or beach, send him a snap of your bathing suit!
- Get a little extra daring by including the undies you plan to wear with the outfit. Or, maybe mention that you aren't going to wear any at all!

11

Tell him you have a surprise for him.

Get him excited for the next time he'll see you. Of course, you need to have some surprise in mind, but it doesn't have to be anything elaborate. Maybe it's something as sweet as a pack of his favorite cookies—or maybe as spicy as some sexy lingerie. Give him hints if you'd like, but don't give away the whole surprise:^{[13]
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- If you're bringing him a snack, try teasing something like, "It's something tasty!"
- If it's something you'll be wearing, you might send him a close-up picture of one lacy detail or a single strap.
- If your surprise is something you want to do to him, you might simply hint, "🤐😉🔥"

12

Say you can't stop thinking about him.

He'll be dying to know what's on your mind. He might even ask you to elaborate! To keep it super-subtle, say something like, "Just you and me together :)" and change the subject. If you want to get a little naughty, you could say something like:^{[14]
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- "Wondering what you would do if you were here..."
- "How great you looked in that shirt last night"
- "Just remembering that time we were in the hot tub..."
- "That I'd really like to be kissing you right now"

13

Mention that you just got out of the shower.

This bold move will get him steamed up. You don't have to tell him that you've already changed into your yoga pants and oversized T-shirt. Let him think you're just lounging around undressed while the two of you chat. You might even mention you thought of him in the shower. It's definitely going to catch his interest!^{[15]
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- Try saying something like, "I just took a shower and now I can't decide what to wear!" Or you could say, "Sorry I didn't answer right away. I was in the shower."
- To really step up the teasing, send him a picture of yourself wrapped in a towel before you get dressed.

14

Tell him you dreamt about him.

He'll probably assume your dream was something sexy. The great thing about telling him this is that even if you didn't really dream about him, you can totally make it up as you go along. He'll probably want to know more, so make it as cute, silly, or steamy as you want. But to really get his mind racing, leave the details to his imagination.^{[16]
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- Try saying, "We were on a beach and there were these people in boat costumes dancing on the sand. You looked super cute in those board shorts though."
- You could also say, "It was so sweet. We were in this market and you were holding my hand the whole time, then you kissed me."
- Or you might say, "Well, I'll just say it was really memorable..."

15

Bring up a sexy movie.

Name something steamy so he'll know what's on your mind. Go for a classic that he's probably seen before, like Eyes Wide Shut, 9 1/2 Weeks, or Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Chances are, if he's seen it before, he'll start thinking about recreating some of those scenes with you. This can work with TV shows and songs, too.
- Anything that airs on HBO is probably a pretty good start.
- Or, quote some sexy song lyrics—then say something like, "I love this song!"^{[17]
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