How to Surprise Your Boyfriend

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan

Last Updated: December 7, 2021

Surprising your boyfriend can be a great way to bring the two of you closer. Surprises leave a strong, emotional impression and can even seem to stop time, shaking up expectations and making you both feel good. From special treats and events to more mature surprises, we’ve put together plenty of ideas to help keep your BF on his toes in the best way possible. Here are 30 ideas to get you going.

1

Pay attention to what he likes.

He’ll be touched that you noticed and remembered what he likes. You can get a lot of ideas by watching what he says, does and has conversations about—not only with you but with others as well. Keep an eye on what he orders at restaurants, the things he does for fun and what he watches on TV. Listen when he mentions something he really enjoys while you two are out or when cuddling together. Find out what makes him smile.

2

Make a list.

Write down your ideas about what you know or think he likes. Try to write as many as possible so you will have a lot of ideas to choose from for future surprises as well. Writing ideas down will probably help lead to other ideas you should also write down.

3

Step out of your comfort zone.

Something that your boyfriend enjoys may not be enjoyable for you. For example, you buy you and your partner tickets for a football game just because you know he enjoys it and wants to spend time with you—even though you may not like football or crowds. It’s ok sometimes to make reasonable sacrifices so you two can share an experience together that he may happen to like a lot more than you. Hopefully, he will return the favor one day and surprise you the same way.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Relationship Advisor
Expert Interview. 6 April 2021.}

4

Think outside the box.

Going the extra mile can really make a difference. Just buying something pre-made on Valentine's Day, for example, because it is expected won’t be as meaningful as something unexpected. If you can create a gift or experience that will be unique for just the two of you, that would be ideal. This is your chance to really show (rather than just say) how much the other person means to you.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Relationship Advisor
Expert Interview. 6 April 2021.}
- The action that you take to create the surprise is actually less important than the idea that you want to introduce something unexpected or new. This is what creates the rush that makes the surprise so powerful.^{[3]
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  Research source}
- Know that your surprise does not have to be big or expensive. Little things can be meaningful too. Just make sure your boyfriend isn’t able to predict that you are going to do it.

5

Give him a gift for no reason.

Guys always appreciate gifts out of the blue. If there is something you know he has had his eye on, like a game or some sports gear, go out and buy it for him.
- If you do not know of anything he specifically wants or if that item is out of your budget, surprise him with something affordable that you know he will still enjoy, like a book or DVD about something he's interested in.
- If you're too young for big gifts or any of these other treats, slip a little note into his locker at school, or decorate his locker when he isn't around. Big surprise!
- The less you treat your gift like a big deal, the more awesome it will seem. If you give it to him and say, "No big deal, just thought of you," he'll be blown away. Guaranteed.

6

Buy him tickets to something he would enjoy.

Sports events, concerts, beer festivals and other events in your area are all great guy-ideas. Buy the tickets and plan out the day ahead of time. Find out what other activities are nearby and make it a special day for you both.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Relationship Advisor
Expert Interview. 6 April 2021.}
- If you're not super-into what he's super-into, it's still good to go together. Doing this shows that you're interested in him, even if you're not interested in watching pro wrestling. Go along and decide to have a good time anyway.
- Alternatively, plan a boys-night for him. Buy him and his friend some concert or game tickets and send them off for the night. Then stay home and spend some quality solo time.

7

Spoil him for an entire day.

A day of being treated like a king will be a welcome surprise for any guy. If you want to surprise your boyfriend, wait for his day off, then tell him that he gets to make all the decisions for the entire day. Let him be in charge.
- Give him a day off from doing any chores, or planning anything yourself. Go out of your way to keep him relaxed. Let him plan things out. If he wants to go out, then go out. If he wants to stay in, then stay in.

8

Plan a fun meal.

You know the saying: the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach. It's probably true for many people, though, guy or gal. Preparing his favorite dinner is a nice treat no matter how long the two of you have been going out.
- If the relationship is new and you have never cooked for him before, inviting him over for a home-cooked meal will be a nice surprise, regardless of what you make. Then you can cook him breakfast in bed the next morning.
- Plan a picnic lunch, or make reservations at his favorite restaurant. Eating in is nice, but every once in a while, going to a restaurant he really enjoys can demonstrate just as much consideration.
- Go on a snack tour of his favorite food in town. Visit every local brewery to let him sample the local beers (you drive), or check out the fried pickles at every local barbecue place. Pick something you know he loves and hit up all the places. Plan out the routes.
- Surprise him with lunch at work. Even if he is too busy to eat it with you, making the extra effort on your part will be a sweet surprise and an effective way to show him how much you think of him even when you are not physically together.

9

Remember the little things.

Lots of guys are interested in things that may seem relatively small to you. Planning out something super-elaborate, like a scavenger hunt for relationship-mementos, could come off as corny to some guys. But things that seem kind of lame to you may get him feeling the big feelings. Try out the following for a little treat:
- Borrow his car and put gas in it.
- Ask to watch an action movie he loves.
- Make him a huge sandwich while he's watching TV.
- Clean up his place for him.

10

Throw the party somewhere else.

Hosting the party elsewhere saves you clean-up time at home. Either plan the party at a friend's house, or plan the party at a local pub or restaurant that he likes.

11

Secure the refreshments.

Don’t underestimate how much guys like to eat and drink. If you're going to throw a surprise party, get the dude-food in hand. Figure out what he likes best and provide those drinks and refreshments.
- If your guy's a meat and potatoes kind of guy, plan a backyard barbecue. Get a friend of his who is good on the grill to make up some brats or grill some ribs, and make sure to get enough for everyone.
- If your guy prefers healthy food, plan out a trip to a local spot he hasn't tried yet. Make reservations for all of his friends, buy him a full tasting menu, and plan the meet-up.

12

Forget about decorations.

It's not usually necessary to spend time making big decorations for a guy's party. If it makes you happy, go for it. If it seems like a big drag on your time and energy, then forget about it. He may not get how much time and effort it took you to create all the elaborate decorations, anyway.

13

Refrain from giving him hints.

You don’t want him to know what’s coming next. Pretend like you might have forgotten that it's his birthday, or plan a surprise party for him on a random day. You can wish him a happy birthday to avoid letting his mood sink too low, but do not give away any hints to suggest that you have a roomful of his favorite people, food and gifts waiting for him back home.
- Alternatively, you can also plan a surprise party for an occasion that does not usually get a party. A promotion, for instance, is an exciting life event that is not always celebrated formally, but you can surprise him by planning a party to celebrate his accomplishment.

14

Get his friends in on it.

Demonstrating that you like your guy's friends? That's huge. Surprise your boyfriend by inviting his friends over to watch a game or to play cards with him.
- Alternatively, you can ask his friends to meet you and him at a restaurant or sports event, then surprise him by waiting until you get there to reveal that you asked them along.

15

Do something with his family.

Your BF will be impressed that you went the extra mile to include them. If your boyfriend has a strong relationship with his parents, feel free to reach out to them, along with any other close relatives.
- It doesn't have to be a big party. Invite them over one evening during the week for dinner, or ask if he'd like to have dinner over there some night. It might be a relief for him that you're willing and interested.

16

Write a message on the bathroom mirror.

This takes steamy messages to a whole new level. After your shower, write how much you love your boyfriend on the steamy mirror. You can write a message, quote or short poem. It will disappear with the steam but reappear like magic when he gets out of the shower.

17

Send him a love letter.

This surprise is both classic and unforgettable. Forget about emailing or texting. Write an old-fashioned love letter with paper and pen, then send it to him in the mail. A love letter can be held in his hands, kept and reread later to remind him how much you love him.

18

Leave him notes.

An unexpected note is sure to brighten his day. Put small notes that remind him you love him or make him laugh in places he will likely find them throughout the day. Put one in his wallet, another in his pocket, car, desk at work or all over the house. These small tokens of your affection can cheer him up if he’s having a rough day and make him smile because he knows you are thinking about him.

19

Change his phone, tablet, or computer wallpaper.

He’ll be touched by this fun gesture. Replace his wallpaper with something funny like you making a silly face, or something else he’ll enjoy like you looking sexy. It will surprise him when he first turns his device on and make him think of you. Remember, even little things can do wonders to make your relationship stronger as long as they are not expected.

20

Surprise him with something precious.

Think of something that will really touch his heart. Maybe you get a special frame for his degree or military retirement certificate or restore an old photo of his family. You could even sew up that hole in his favorite shirt he’s had since high school or use a program to take all the background noise out of the recording of him singing as a child.

21

Try a prank.

If your guy is good-natured and loves pranks, why not surprise him with one? You could hide out in the fridge when he goes to get a beer and startle him, scare him out of bed with a costume, make him a pie and then put it on his face or use a fake head on your side of the bed to freak him out.^{[5]
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Research source}A good-natured prank can leave you both laughing so hard you can’t breathe.^{[6]
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Research source}

22

Take a drive or ride together.

You don’t need a destination—just each other. Go ahead and go on an adventure, not knowing where you will end up can make it more exciting. If you know you love the scenery in the mountains, along the ocean, or through the woods, then pack up some gear and head out.
- Always bring along a first aid kit, flashlights, food, water, spare tires, blankets and other safety gear, especially if you will be gone for several days.

23

Do the things you used to do.

Your early relationship can be a great playbook for some spicy surprises. Think about what you used to do or say, and do them all over again. Maybe you forgot to wear underwear under your slinky black dress while you’re at dinner or watching a show once—make sure he remembers by doing it again.

24

Greet him at the door in something sexy.

Nothing says “welcome” home like a seductive wardrobe change. Put on your most sultry outfit and greet him at the door as soon as he comes over. It will make a nice surprise welcome home for him, especially if you know that he has had a long or frustrating day.
- You do not necessarily need to wear something skimpy. Anything that makes you look your best will show that you put some extra effort into surprising him.
- Just make sure that he is alone when he comes through the door. If not, it could get awkward.
- Better yet: Forget about the door. Wait for him in the bedroom.

25

Give him a sensual massage.

This helps to relax your boyfriend and can be quite a turn-on. What's not to like? So, the next time your boyfriend is hanging out, surprise him by springing a sensual massage on him.
- Massages don't have to mean sex. Even if you're not at that stage in your relationship yet, a shoulder massage can be a nice way of doing something nice for your man.

26

Try talking dirty.

If you're usually pretty G-rated, it'll be quite the surprise if you start talking like you've been binge-watching X-rated movies while he was gone. Not to mention a turn-on. If you know this is something that might embarrass your guy or make him feel uncomfortable, then just don’t overdo it.
- If dirty-talking makes you feel awkward, try asking him to talk dirty to you. Give him the chance to try out something new, if he's interested.

27

Send dirty texts throughout the day.

Your BF won’t be able to get enough of this surprise. If your boyfriend has a busy day, letting him know that you're thinking about him "that way" will drive him absolutely crazy. Getting a dirty text is one of the best kinds of surprises. Let him know what you plan on doing with him later.
- Be careful with pictures. If you're in a committed relationship and you trust your boyfriend, that's one thing. If you're just texting someone you don’t know that well or someone who may turn around and use your pictures against you if you break up, think twice.

28

Ask him about his fantasies.

Learning more about your partner's fantasies is a great way to get closer and become more intimate. You don't want to risk throwing some wild and kinky thing at him in the bedroom, only for him to turn up his nose. Always talk to him about what he wants to do, and try your best to be open-minded.
- Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Him wanting to do something doesn't mean you have to do it to surprise him. Be honest with him in return. Besides, just having the fantasy-talk can sometimes be hot enough to spice it up.

29

Try out a new move.

Surprise him by spicing things up in the sack. Do some research and try out a new technique or move that'll drive him crazy the next time you're hooking up. Surprises like these are guaranteed to please.
- If you're not interested in a new move, wake him up with one of your old ones. Always a nice surprise.

30

Surprise him with a babysitter.

Kids are great but they can make it hard to get some quality one-on-one time. Find a babysitter and plan a place for the kids to stay for the evening or night, so you two can catch up on all the passion you’ve put on hold for screaming babies and arguing kids. It can be a great surprise for your guy to come home to a quiet house and an entire evening alone with you to rekindle old flames.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I spoil my boyfriend on a budget?

Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.

Erika Kaplan

Matchmaker

Expert Answer

There are tons of free or cheap things you can surprise your boyfriend with. If he likes art, you could stroll around a few open galleries or free museums. If he's into sports, you could take him to a cheap restaurant or bar to watch the game together. Think of what kinds of experiences you could do together that he'd enjoy!
Question

What's the best kind of surprise if I want to get to know him better?

Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.

Erika Kaplan

Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Aim for something the two of you can experience together! It could be a cooking class, a magic show, or something like that. Anything where the two of you can share your time together is going to be a really helpful way to grow together and strengthen your relationship.
Question

How can I make my boyfriend feel special?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Get him a gift based on a hobby he has, such as a board game if he likes to play them.