How to Train Your Mind to Be Positive

Written by Leah Morris | Edited by Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: May 21, 2022 References

If you want to train your mind to be positive, all you need is some practice. Luckily, we’ve got you covered with some fun and simple routines. Check out this action plan made just for you—with these healthy habits, you’ll find it easy to stay positive all day.

This article is based on an interview with our life and relationship transition coach, Leah Morris, owner of Life Remade. Check out the full interview here.

1

Start off your day with a great attitude.

Waking up with a smile will brighten your morning right away. Jump right into some routines that will put you in a happy frame of mind. For you, that might look like sipping a soothing cup of green tea or listening to a funny DJ on the radio. Whatever brings you joy, make sure it’s the first thing you do and you’ll definitely have a lot to look forward to.
- Just one smile can lower your stress hormones and convince your brain that you’re happy.^{[1]
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  Association for Psychological Science
  Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences
  Go to source}
- A smile can also improve your heart health and attract people to you when you walk out the door.^{[2]
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- It’s okay if the morning routine that makes you smile is really unique—focus on what gets you up and moving!

2

Stay hydrated and get plenty of exercise.

Getting enough water and activity helps you stay happy and energetic. Drink at least 4-6 cups a day and exercise for 20 minutes or more.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Leah Morris
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.} When you get enough fluids, the circulation in your brain will improve, so you’ll have better long-term memory and balanced moods.^{[4]
X
Research source} A regular fitness routine will also help because it will protect your brain tissue and enhance your ability to concentrate. When you combine both habits, you’ll make a huge investment in your mental health.^{[5]
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PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- If you get really active, you’ll need to hydrate a lot more, so carry a water bottle around.
- If you find yourself regularly thirsty, you’re probably dehydrated—you’ll have a lot more energy if you increase how much water you drink.
- To stick to your exercise plan, focus on what’s fun to you—for example, try dance work-outs if you prefer them.

3

Practice gratitude.

Being thankful for experiences helps you appreciate your life. When you notice anything good that happens, you’ll realize that the world has so much to offer to you. Keep paying attention to small and significant details.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Kamal Ravikant
Author, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
Expert Interview. 2 December 2019.} They can relate to the past, present, or future. A fond memory, appreciation for what’s happening right now, or hope for what’s about to unfold can warm your heart. To make gratitude a habit, try some of these tips:^{[7]
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Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source}
- Send a “thank-you” letter, write a daily entry in a gratitude journal, or make a mental note when someone helps you out.
- Try the “count your blessings” activity. Pick a random number, like 5, then use it as a goal—in this case, keep track of at least 5 good things that happen to you throughout the week.
- Focus on one detail in the present moment that uplifts you. For example, you can say, “The wind chimes sound amazing in this breeze."

4

Use positive affirmations.

Speaking with confidence keeps you upbeat even if you’re stressed. Any motto you come up with reinforces how smart and creative you are. What you tell yourself affects your performance, so if you say, “I don’t know how to handle life,” you’ll forget that you have the power to fix any issue. Remind yourself that you have a lot of control over your circumstances.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Leah Morris
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.} Be kind to yourself, bring up your amazing values or what you love about yourself, and say something like:
- "I am intelligent and resourceful. I will find a way to make today amazing.”
- “I’m inspired by compassion. I’ll be kind to everyone I come across today.”
- ”It’s important that I try my best, and that’s all that counts.”^{[9]
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5

Identify your negative triggers.

Noticing your reactions helps you move on and improve your mood. A negative emotional “trigger” is anything that brings up a stressful or painful memory. Once you compare what’s happening right now to the past, you’ll see there’s a big difference. First, tell yourself what emotion has come up. Then, connect it to an old experience. Finally, remind yourself that you can change how you behave in this present moment. Here’s an example of this three-step process:^{[10]
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- “I feel very frustrated right now because someone cut me in line.”
- “This reminds me of when my parents dropped me off late at school and I got in trouble for being tardy.”
- “I’m actually totally fine now because I don’t have work today. Waiting an extra 30 seconds is okay.”

6

Use positive self-talk.

Treating yourself with compassion helps you celebrate who you are. If you notice that you’ve slipped into self-criticism, flip the script and change your word choice so it’ll encourage you. First, say your name so your brain recognizes that you’re talking to yourself. Then, use a new phrase that doesn’t have a single negative detail. Finally, end with what you love about yourself. You’ll transform your self-image and see someone amazing in the mirror.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Kamal Ravikant
Author, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
Expert Interview. 2 December 2019.} Try out a three-step self-talk activity similar to this:^{[12]
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- Start with your name. For example, say: “Jamie…”
- Change your language. For instance, instead of telling yourself, “You’ll embarrass yourself at this party,” you can give yourself a pep talk like, “You’ll definitely meet a lot of new people tonight.”
- End with self-love. You can finish with something like, “You’re a really good listener. I love that you care about what other people have to say.”

7

Try a few positivity exercises.

Practicing these activities helps you develop a hopeful attitude. Any messages you repeat enter your “subconscious mind,” a part of your brain that shapes your beliefs.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Matchmaker, The LA Life Coach
Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.} Your “subconscious mind” has so much power that it affects how you feel all day. Here are some tips to make optimism a habit:^{[14]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- Try Hendel’s “triangle” technique. Identify a feeling, like annoyance, and two emotions you actually need to fix, like anger and fear. Then, replace them with moods like joy and excitement.^{[15]
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  Expert Source
  
  Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW
  Certified AEDP Psychotherapist & Emotions Educator
  Expert Interview. 8 September 2021.}
- Use “tapping,” an “Emotional Freedom Technique” (EFT). Gently tap different points on your body and say something reassuring like, “Even though social situations give me anxiety, I love and accept myself.”^{[16]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}
- Give yourself “Neuro-Linguistic Therapy” (NLP). Identify a reaction, choose a new response, and set a goal. For example, you can say, “I freeze up when I get criticism, but I actually love self-improvement, so I’ll picture my heart opening up every time I get feedback.”^{[17]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}

8

Look for highlights in your day.

Noticing three good things makes happiness a reflex. When you “scan” your environment, which happens when you look for what stands out, you train how your brain sees the world. Make sure that it zooms in on whatever makes you smile and you’ll start to see that life is full of fun and wonder.^{[18]
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Expert Source

Kamal Ravikant
Author, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
Expert Interview. 2 December 2019.} You can jot down some notes like:^{[19]
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Greater Good in Action
An initiative by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center promoting science-based practices for a meaningful life
Go to source}
- “This coffee is perfectly sweet, the barista is very pleasant, and the corgi next to me is so cute.”
- “Today, I saw an incredible mural, picked up some art supplies, and got an amazing discount.” ^{[20]
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  Expert Source
  
  Leah Morris
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.}
- “I saw a stranger carry an elderly woman’s groceries, read about a celebrity building homes for veterans, and witnessed a kid share a candy bar with their sibling."

9

Turn negative situations into lessons.

Embracing challenges can be exciting since you’ll learn about yourself. Stressful situations can wear you out if you think they set you back. Instead, take a deep breath, reflect on what just happened, and ask yourself how the experience will prepare you for your future. You might say something like:^{[21]
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- “I was shocked when my boss asked me to kick off the meeting, but I made it through the whole presentation. I learned I can actually do just fine when I’m put on the spot!”^{[22]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Leah Morris
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.}
- "I tense up when I go to any family functions. I realized I feel nervous around relatives. I’ll make it a priority to spend time with people who make me feel relaxed.”^{[23]
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  Expert Source
  
  Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW
  Certified AEDP Psychotherapist & Emotions Educator
  Expert Interview. 8 September 2021.}
- "I felt disorganized all day, so I tidied up my room, made a to-do list, and cleared out my spam folder. That made such a big difference!”^{[24]
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  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Matchmaker, The LA Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.}

10

Be a role model for your friends.

Discussing goals with your support network helps you stay motivated. When you share healthy and productive habits, you’ll remind yourself what really works. Talk about what you’ve accomplished and help your friends create their own road maps to success. To uplift yourself and everyone around you, you can say something like:^{[25]
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- “I enrolled in a night class for professional development! What do you think will take you to the next level?”^{[26]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Leah Morris
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.}
- “I woke up at 7 A.M. to make sure I got a morning run in. It was hard at first, but totally worth it. What’s a routine that would help you out?”
- “What’ve you all been up to?! I always feel so inspired when we catch up.”

11

Give people lots of shout-outs.

Complimenting others reminds you that you have a great support system. If you talk about how other people bring value to your life, you’ll practice another form of gratitude. Be specific with your praise and bring up why the person you admire matters to you.^{[27]
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Expert Source

Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.} You’ll realize how lucky you are to be surrounded by amazing individuals, and you’ll also strengthen your relationships. You can make someone feel special and say something like: ^{[28]
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- “I’m so grateful for my sister! She’s incredibly wise and patient. I love our long phone calls and how much I learn from them.”
- “I have the best roommates in the world! They helped me move all my stuff into my room and didn’t even ask for pizza in return!”
- “I’m really glad I met my tutor, Alex. I feel like I have a handle on this subject now!”

12

Help others out.

Performing acts of kindness improves your self-esteem. When you see that you can improve the quality of someone else’s life, you’ll feel instantly empowered. Volunteer or just focus on how you can be nice to other people—you’ll prove that you have the ability to uplift others every day.^{[29]
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Expert Source

Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.} Some sweet gestures might look like:^{[30]
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- Picking up litter. Even if no one sees you do it, they’ll enjoy how clutter-free everything is.
- Donating pet food to an animal shelter. The staff will be grateful for the supplies.^{[31]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Sydney Axelrod
  Certified Life Coach
  30 June 2020. Expert Interview.}
- Smiling at a stranger. You’ll help them see that the world is a friendly place.

13

Joke around.

Laughing soothes your tension and lightens your mood. There are lots of reasons you feel great after you crack up—you take in a ton of oxygen, which works out your lungs, heart, and muscles. Those physical responses will release endorphins that will relax your whole body. Try out these activities to cheer yourself up:^{[32]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Pick a favorite stand-up comedian and subscribe to their podcast for a daily dose of humor.
- Make a physical or digital scrapbook of silly memes, photos, quotes, and comics.
- Share your own jokes or stories based on funny things that happened to you.^{[33]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Leah Morris
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.}

14

Listen to inspiring music.

Making a playlist of your favorite songs gets your mind off of problems. Since music helps you reflect on different emotions, you can choose any genre you like. Whether you lose yourself to classical music or hip hop, your mind will try to figure out what the musicians want to express. Over time, all that focus will come into play when you find ways to solve problems.^{[34]
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- Write down your favorite lyrics and you can find some interesting answers to life’s challenges.
- Journal about why some songs make you feel a certain way—you’ll learn how to express yourself, too.
- Play music that relates to a project you’re working on. For example, if you want to write a motivating speech, you can listen to a song about bravery.

15

Meditate before bed.

Calming yourself down helps you look forward to some good rest. If you make some time to be “present with,” or acknowledge, all your thoughts before you sleep, you won’t overthink throughout the night.^{[35]
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v161872_b01]. 28 July 2021.} Sit somewhere comfortable, focus on your posture, breathe deeply, and concentrate on just one idea. When you end the evening on a positive note, you’ll relax, so say something like:^{[36]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source}
- “I look forward to beautiful dreams.”
- ”I am safe and whole right now.”
- ”I will wake up stronger and healthier.”

Expert Q&A

Question

How long does it take to train your brain to think more positive?

Kamal Ravikant
Author, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
Kamal Ravikant is a bestselling author, podcast host, speaker, and a Venture Capitalist. His book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It was a bestseller in the USA. He's had diverse experiences in his life, including meditating with monks in the Himalayas, serving as a US Army Infantry soldier, and cofounded several companies and a Venture Capital firm in Silicon Valley. He is passionate about sharing the common thread through all of these experiences: the importance of loving yourself

Kamal Ravikant

Author, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

Expert Answer

It really depends. You have to learn to love yourself, and how long that takes can differ from person to person. Learning to accept your thoughts and process your feelings in a way that treats them as valid can be hard, especially if you aren't used to it.

Warnings

Beware of "toxic positivity". Always leaping towards "turning a frown upside down" can mean that you miss out on learning opportunities from painful experiences.^{[37]
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