How to Understand Your Wife

Co-authored by Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Last Updated: August 27, 2022 References

Really understanding your wife is an important part of sharing a true and heartfelt bond. Understanding her better will help you reveal your true self to her well, as well. The key to understanding your spouse is learning her emotional needs by heart. In this article, we'll show you how to better understand what your wife is thinking and feeling so you can enrich your marriage.

Steps

1
Celebrate your marriage. If you really love your woman, go out and celebrate your marriage. Spend time with your wife on the weekends. You need to work hard and earn love and care that you receive from your wife.^{[1]
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2
Say, "I love you honey!" Women need to know and be reassured that they are loved. Express your feelings several times and by saying, "I love you!" Use these 3 words often, even when she is your wife and she very well knows that you love her. Expressing love eases stress and strengthens relationships.^{[2]
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3
Trust her and win back her trust. Trust is the most important pillar for any relationship. You need to trust her completely to win back her trust. Show faith and trust in her abilities, decisions, and choices. As you do so, she will turn out to be a more confident and decisive person and, thus, would be far easier to understand! She will be clearly able to tell you, whatever she wants from you.^{[3]
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4
Do not cheat your partner. If you could risk your relationship for another one, there is no way you can win back her love with these tips.^{[4]
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5
Do not compare your wife with other women publicly. It’s not okay to draw parallels publicly and expect her to understand her faults. No one likes to live lives of others. It would be like she comparing you to other men and pointing out how much better husbands others are to their wives.^{[5]
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6
Never take her for granted. Always ask and do not command. No one likes to live a life set through other people's standards. A man who treats his wife like a princess shows that he has been raised in the arms of a queen, so it’s your pride if you behave like a gentleman.
7
Welcome communications. Do not retrograde if she wants to open up and say something. It is very important to communicate your differences to each other. At times, you need not reply. Just listen to the complete conversation so as to make out where the problem is and find the solution. Never find faults within the other person. That only spoils the whole conversation and the quality of the relationship.^{[6]
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8
Understand that it is okay to be not perfect for you as well as your wife. It is also important that you expect her the way she is and not try to change her to fit your expectations. Don’t expect too much from her. Happy relationships need not have perfect people though perfect companions! If you could become her best friend, no one knows her better than you.^{[7]
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9
Quarrels, arguments, and qualms are part of every relationship. Learn to live beyond them.
10
Give respect to each other. Learn every one of her favorites, such as foods, colors, clothing, brands, etc. Every time you fail to recognize her preferences in a restaurant or a shopping mall, you make her feel that she is not important to you.^{[8]
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11
Remember all the celebration dates. This includes birthdays and anniversaries. Why? Simply because these are special days for you two and if she is important to you, so should be the days and celebrations with her.

Community Q&A

Question

Is it okay that my wife has a very close relationship with another man?

Community Answer

It depends on the nature of their relationship as it relates to the relationship between you and your wife. A spouse is not a possession, and you are both allowed to maintain friendships with other people.

Warnings

Never criticize your partner in public, as this will cause her to defend herself and your relationship will be damaged.

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Don't overdo the surprises, as most girls only like one good surprise a day.

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