13 Texts to Send Someone You Haven't Seen in a While

Co-authored by Jessica George, MA, CHt and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: May 26, 2022

You’re going about your day when you suddenly get a flashback of an old friend, past roommate, ex, or relative. Suddenly you’re overwhelmed with a sense of longing—what are they up to these days? Reconnecting with someone you haven’t seen in a long time can be nerve-racking, but we’re here to help ease those jitters! Here are some texts you can send to break the ice with someone you haven’t seen in awhile.

1

“Hey! How’s life?”

If you don’t know what to say, stick to the classic catch-up. This short and sweet message is suitable for anyone you’re wanting to reconnect with. It opens the door for a friendly conversation without being too pushy, formal, or intrusive. You’re giving them the reins to take the conversation whatever direction they please.
- “How’s it going?” and “How are things?” are some other great options.

2

“How are you? Are you still working?”

Send a personalized text letting them know you remember them. You can lose contact with someone for a number of reasons, but that doesn’t mean you forget everything about them. If you used to work together, ask them how the company or your past boss is doing. If they talked about a new career the last time you spoke, bring it up. This will show them you still have an interest in their life.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- “The last time we spoke, you’d just started a new job.”
- “How’s the new career path? You were so excited about it the last time we spoke.”

3

“It’s been too long! What classes are you taking this semester?”

This is a perfect informal text to send to a friend. Casual and quick, this text lets you acknowledge that you haven’t spoken in awhile and gives an open-ended question they can answer. Fingers crossed this will spark a conversation that leads to reconnecting with a long-lost friend.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Change up the message to fit your relationship with your friend.
- If you were on a team together, try something like, “It’s been forever! How’s the basketball season going?”
- If you used to work together, go for something like, “Long time no see! What’s new at the restaurant?”

4

“I passed by our old school and wondered how you were doing.”

Chances are you have a lot of good memories together. Bring these up when first texting them again, especially if they are a close childhood friend or relative. Pointing out what reminds you of them will let them know you think about them.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- “I saw Amanda yesterday and we were talking about you. We should get the whole gang back together soon!”
- “I pulled out our old yearbook and look how silly we are😂” Send them a pic with this text.

5

“I was thinking about how we stopped talking, and I realized I was in the wrong.”

Apologizing is a good way to reopen communication with them. When you’re trying to reconnect with a friend, especially one you’ve fallen out with, it can be hard finding a reason to start a conversation. You don’t need a fancy reason. It can be as simple as an apology. Let them know why you’re contacting them to set the tone moving forward.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- “I’m sorry for how things ended between us. I wish I could take back what I said.”
- “I was thinking about you the other night, and I’m sorry for letting you down.”

6

“Wishing you a happy holiday! I’d love to catch up in the new year.”

Special occasions are low-pressure opportunities to reach out. This text is a great way to send them a “Hey, I’m thinking of you message” without putting any pressure on them to respond. They may respond back enthusiastically and plan a day to catch up, or they might ignore the text—it’s worth a shot either way!^{[5]
X
Research source}
- If it’s their birthday, try out, “Happy birthday🥳 Let’s not let another year go by without chatting.”
- If it’s Thanksgiving, go for something like, “Happy Thanksgiving! I know we haven’t talked in awhile, but I want you to know I’m so thankful for the memories. Let’s make some more soon!”
- If they just graduated, share in the excitement with something like, “I heard you graduated🎉 Congrats! I would love to hear about your future plans someday soon.”

7

“Miss your face!”

This goofy text is great to send to a friend or past crush. It has just enough flirt and playfulness to grab their attention. Maybe you’ve been thinking about them nonstop and want to reconnect. Let this text be a way for you to feel out the waters. If they’re in a relationship, maybe they text you back saying they have a partner. If they’re single and ready to mingle, maybe they send a flirty reply.
- “Can’t stop thinking about you these days!”
- “Missing that big smile of yours!”

8

“I just saw your post. Your dog is adorable! When did you get him?”

Reconnect with someone by mentioning their social media. A text centered around a recent social media post will let them know you’re paying attention to their feed and are curious about their life. If there’s something you used to do together, send them a message about a post centered around that interest.
- “I saw your post about opening a bakery. I’m so excited for you? When are you opening?”
- “Your post about remembering the past hit me hard. I would love to catch up someday soon😊”
- “I just saw your post. How does your food always look so good? Seriously, can you teach me to cook?”

9

“I totally ghosted you, and I’m sorry about that.”

Let them know you’re aware you haven’t stayed in touch. Maybe they sent you a text ages ago and you’re just now realizing you never responded. Acknowledge your mistake, apologize, and see where the conversation turns.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- “I can’t believe I never respond to this. I’m so sorry!”
- “Can you believe I just now realized I never responded? Sorry about that🤦🏽”

10

“This made me think of you.”

This is a nice way to make an emotional connection. Take a picture of a past art project, school building, or inside joke that’ll make them smile and be flooded with good memories. This is a fun way to spark a conversation.
- “Saw this and had to send it to you.”
- “Couldn’t not show you this🤣”
- If they respond, ask them how they’re doing to keep the conversation going.

11

“Just had a wild flashback. Missing you these days!”

Make them wonder what you’re thinking with this message. Maybe you’re going about your day and something suddenly triggers a random flashback to time spent with this person. Even if you haven’t spoken to them in a while, don’t be afraid to reach out, especially if you want to rekindle a connection. This text will have them asking what your flashback was and can spark a delightful conversation full of nostalgia.
- “This is random, but I just thought of you. How are you?”
- “Heard Taylor Swift’s new song on the radio and immediately thought of you!”

12

“Want to meet up this weekend? It’s been too long!”

Get right to the point with this text if you want to see them again. This message is great to send to a once close friend, roommate, or relative. It’s casual but upbeat tone will let them know you miss them and have no hard feelings about why you lost touch. Ask them what they’re up to and plan out a day you can catch-up—as long as they’re chill with it of course!
- “What are you doing this weekend? I would love to catch-up🙂”
- “Got any weekend plans? It’s been too long since we’ve talked.”

13

“Hey, how would you feel about catching up?”

This text is great to send to an ex or friend you had a falling out with. When you haven’t spoken to someone in a long time, it can be easy to raise your expectations and daydream about what could have been. Lower your expectations and let them take control, steering the conversation in a direction they choose. With this text, there are no pressures whatsoever.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- The key to reconnecting with people from your past is to lower your expectations. Reach out because you want to check-in with them, not to fulfill a fantasy.
- If they don’t want to catch up, that’s okay! Some relationships and friendships can’t be rekindled, so don’t be hard on yourself because you tried and that’s all you can do.