How to Act More Grown Up

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: October 2, 2021 References Approved

Sometimes it seems like you just can't grow up fast enough. While it's important to enjoy your age, it's also nice to feel like you're mature and well-respected. You can learn to act more mature at home, at school, and around adults.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Acting Mature at Home

1
Ask for more responsibilities. There's a lot to do around a house. Garbage needs to be taken out, dinner needs to be prepared, the floors need to be swept and cleaned. If you want to be a more mature member of your family, ask for more responsibilities and take them really seriously. Do your best work and take pride when you finish.
- If you have a pet, you should be in charge of the pet, not one of your parents. If you have a dog, you need to clean up after the dog, walk the dog, and feed the dog. Not just today, but every day.
- Talk to your parents about an allowance if necessary, but focus on doing the jobs first, not getting the money. The more you make it about helping out, the more likely you are to get a good allowance.
- Ask your parents if you'll be allowed to get a house key. This can be a big step for a lot of kids in becoming more grown-up. As you get older, you may ask for more responsibilities, like getting a part-time job, a car, and doing more things by yourself.^{[1]
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2
Volunteer to help with chores. Most kids want to avoid chores at all costs. Mature kids know that chores are things that have to be done, even if they're not fun. Help out your parents whenever you can by volunteering for chores, to make life a little easier for them. This will make you seem very grown-up.
- Help with yard work in the spring and summertime, or help rake leaves in the fall when they're on the ground. You can also shovel the driveway if there is snow during the winter months.
- Keep your room as clean as possible. Tidy up after yourself when you make a mess. Keep your toys and school supplies clean, and in their proper place.
- Bonus: Help clean up other people's messes as well. If you help pick up after your sibling instead of whining about it to your parents, that will seem very mature.
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3
Listen to your parents. Mature kids respect their parents, which means they will be treated with respect. Immature kids whine and complain, making their parents' jobs much more difficult. If you want to act more mature, listen to what your parents say.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Listen even when you don't like it, and then do what you're told.
- Be honest with your parents as much as possible. If you don't think it's right that you should have to clean your room on a Saturday, tell them so. But don't whine and cry about it like a little kid. Write out your reasons. Tell them clearly.
- Never make your parents ask you to do something more than once. If you're acting up and they tell you to be quiet, be quiet. Immature kids are unable to control themselves, but mature kids are.
4
Stay calm when something goes wrong. Some little kids will fall to pieces whenever they don't get their way. Maturity means being able to accept bad news and take it in stride.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- If your parents tell you that you can't go somewhere or do something specific, calm down. Don't yell, but speak honestly. Say, "I'm disappointed, but that's okay. Thanks anyway." Often, maturity like this can even get parents to change their minds.
- If you get into a fight with a sibling, relax and take a few deep breaths. Don't overreact. Act like nothing bothers you and stay cool. This will take all the wind out of your sibling's sails.
5
Be nice to younger siblings. Just because you're older doesn't necessarily mean you're more mature. If you want to act your age or act older than you are, then make a point of being nice and looking out for your younger brothers and sisters.
- If your younger siblings don't know something, don't make fun of them for it. Show them how to play a game correctly, or how to do their chores the right way.
- If you have older siblings, don't let them bait you into throwing fits. Sometimes, older kids like to pick on younger kids to try to get a rise out of them. When they provoke you, say something like, "That's kind of immature." Your older siblings will be shocked.
6
Speak quietly and clearly. No whining, shouting, or baby-talking. If you're going to act like a grown-up, speak like one. Use a clear, firm voice when you have something to say. If you don't have anything to say, just be quiet.
- Slow down when you're speaking, and think about what you say. Kids tend to talk very quickly and stumble over their words. Make sure to pronounce the words correctly, and learn how to say words that you're not sure about.
- If someone is in another room, stand up and walk into that room to speak to them. Don't shout between rooms.
7
Use mature table manners. Even if it's just a basic weeknight meal, it's important to sit still and be quiet during dinner time unless you are involved in a conversation. Dinner time conversation should involve everyone at the table. Thank your parents, or whoever provided the meal, and eat it all. Wait until everyone is finished eating before you leave the table, or ask to be excused if you're finished.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Sit up straight at the table and put a napkin on your lap. Chew with your mouth closed, and put your utensils down between bites of food.
- When dinner is over, offer to help clean the dishes. Before dinner, offer to help set the table, or do other simple tasks.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Acting Mature at School

1
Do your schoolwork on time. Kids often struggle to finish their homework on time. When you get home, there are so many other things to do. Playing outside, playing inside, messing around. Instead, do your homework first and get it out of the way, to free up time later to do what you want. This is a sign of maturity.
- If you're always doing your work and turning it in on time, both your parents and your teachers will look at you as a mature student.
- If you forget to do an assignment, don't make up excuses. Tell your teacher honestly what happened. Making up elaborate lies is an immature thing to do.
2
Listen to your teacher and follow instructions. Just like at home, at school you need to listen to authority figures. Even when you don't like what they're saying, mature kids understand the need to follow directions and behave in school. Sit quietly and listen when your teacher is speaking.
- When you're in class, and your teacher is speaking, you always need to be quiet. Don't talk to your neighbor unless you're told to. Wait until after school or recess to talk with your friends.
- Sometimes, kids who act out in class may seem more "adult" because they're more willing to get in trouble. This is usually a sign of immaturity, though. As you get older, it'll be much easier to tell the difference.
3
Be kind to younger students. When you're at school, treat everyone with respect. Don't pick on anyone, especially younger kids. If you see a younger student looking lost, or looking like they might need help, offer it. Be a kind classmate.
- When you're at lunch, or recess, don't ever pick on younger kids. If you don't want to hang out with them, that's fine. But don't make a big deal out of it.
- If your friends are being mean to someone or are a bad influence on you, tell them to stop or look for new friends to hang out with if they don't change.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.}
- Mature kids know and respect people older than them. When you're in the fifth grade, you'll feel like you're super mature, but as soon as you get to sixth grade, you'll be the little kid again. And to a high school senior? You're really young. Try to remember how old you are and don't get too big for your britches.
4
Use your "indoor" speaking voice. Immature kids will always be yelling in school, making the lunchroom, hallways, and classroom loud. Speak loud enough to be heard, but speak clearly and at a reasonable volume. Kids often have trouble controlling the volume of their voices.
5
Don't show off. Immature kids will often do things just to get attention, showing off in gym class or at other times. More mature kids know that the way to stand out from the crowd isn't to brag to your friends and try to show off to others but to put your head down and do your work the right way.
- If you're skilled at something, it's not bad to show off now and then, but never brag about it. If you're going to be good at something, let your actions show it.
- Be a good winner and a good loser. If you lose a game, don't pout. Congratulate the winners. If you win a game, don't brag. Go over to the loser and say, "Good game, let's do this again."
6
Wear clean clothes that fit you well. Looking mature will help you to feel mature. There's no one way to dress if you want to look mature, though, so it's mostly just important to wear clothes that make you feel good. What makes you feel confident? What makes you feel grown up and mature? Wear those clothes.
- Clean clothes that are well-fit for your body are always the best choice. Maturity tip: Learn to do laundry yourself, so you can always be sure the clothes you want to wear are clean.
- It's still ok to wear clothes that fit your age. When you're a kid, it's not necessary to start dressing like an adult yet, unless you want to. It would look kind of strange for someone in grade school to rock a business suit.
- If you want to wear make-up, make sure it's ok with your parents first.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Acting Mature Around Adults

1
Admit when you're wrong about something. Little kids hang onto excuses even when it's obvious they're wrong. If you made a mistake, own up to it. If you messed something up, come clean. Adults respect when kids tell the truth. It's a sign of maturity.
- Don't lie under any circumstances. Adults are usually able to tell, and lying will only make things worse.^{[6]
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- Apologize and accept the consequence. If you're going to get in trouble for something, don't make it worse. Say, "I'm sorry. I'll try not to let it happen again."
2
Ask mature questions. Kids often just talk to adults, instead of talking with them. Kids usually like to just talk about themselves, focusing on really small details from their day. If you want to seem more mature when you talk to adults, you should be the one who asks questions.
- Be curious about what adults do. Curiosity is a sign of maturity. If your dad's friend comes over, ask, "How do you know my dad?" Ask questions about his kids, and what his family is like.
- It's also good to know when to leave adults alone. Sometimes, adults don't like to be pestered, especially by lots of questions. If an adult is happy to talk with you, feel free to ask questions. If they become quiet or seem annoyed, leave them alone.
3
Stop complaining. Kids and other immature people will often complain a lot. If you're bored, if you're tired, or if you're hungry, you only need to mention it once, and preferably less than that. If you don't have something positive or interesting to say, just be quiet.
- If you don't like something that's going on, don't just say, "I hate this." Suggest something else to do. If you're playing with your siblings, don't just complain about the game, say, "This is ok, but what if we played tag instead?"
- If you have to do something boring, try to be quiet and find something to do. If you have to go with your dad to the hardware store and it's boring, turn it into a game. try to come up with silly names for all the pipe pieces. Find the piece that looks most like a monster.
4
Control your laughter. Little kids often have giggling fits. It's nothing to be ashamed of because being a kid can be a lot of fun. But, it's good to be a little more serious and quiet when you're around adults. Even if you think something is funny, try to just smile about it, rather than bursting into hysterical laughter.
5
Avoid crude language. When you're really young, the kids who curse may seem older and more mature. When you get a little older, though, you'll be able to see that as being a sign of immaturity. You don't need to use four-letter words to seem older than you are. It'll only last for a short time, and adults won't be impressed.
- As you get older, try to scrub offensive phrases out of your vocabulary entirely. Some kids think it's funny or normal to call things "gay," which is really immature and offensive. Even words like "chick" and "dude" can seem immature to some adults. Speak maturely.
6
Act your age. Little kids who try to act like 30-year-olds aren't necessarily more mature than little kids who act their age. Maturity happens slowly. It's much better to be a 10-year-old who acts like a 10-year-old than to be one who acts like some different age. Enjoy being the age that you are.
- Adults don't expect that little kids will drink coffee and play tennis with them, so you don't have to pretend like you do things you don't. Just act calmly and be cool around adults, and you'll seem mature.^{[7]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How can I show maturity?

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

Professional School Counselor

Expert Answer

Recognizing when people are a bad influence on you and looking for new uplifting people to spend time with is a great sign that you're mature.