Selflessness basically means that you’re more concerned about others’ feelings and wellbeing than your own. It’s safe to say that the world would be a much better place if we were all a little more selfless. It starts at the individual level, so you can start making that change today! There are tons of easy ways to start being more selfless in your everyday life.


2

Volunteer your time for a good cause.

  1. This is a great way to practice generosity and contribute to the world. There are probably tons of local organizations that you can do some volunteer work with. Dedicate a few hours on the weekends to give back to your community.[2]
    • Popular volunteer work includes handing out food in a soup kitchen, helping clean up local parks, caring for animals at a shelter, and helping organize town events.
    • If you want to do bigger volunteer projects, you could also join an organization like the Peace Corps.
    • If you need more motivation, volunteering has great personal and mental health benefits too.
4

Make yourself available for friends and family.

  1. The people in your everyday life could probably use a helping hand! If someone asks you for some help, do all you can to make that happen. It might be a little inconvenient, but it’ll really improve their day.[4]
    • Keep an eye out for little opportunities to help, like if your neighbor is carrying something heavy. Maybe they didn’t ask for your help, but they’ll appreciate you going over to offer a hand.
    • Remember that it’s okay to say no if helping someone will put undue strain on you. Don’t run yourself ragged![5]
5

Be patient with others to practice empathy.

  1. Expecting everything at the drop of a hat is a selfish quality. If you're getting impatient, take a step back. Understand that in most cases, the people around you are trying their best, and you just need to be understanding. This keeps things in perspective and prevents you from losing your temper.[6]
    • This quality can help improve your personal relationships too. Patient people usually attract other people because they're easier to be around.
    • Being patient doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs to others. It just means understanding that you can't always have instant gratification.
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6

Listen when others vent their feelings to you.

7

Put yourself in other people’s shoes.

  1. You’ll be more motivated to help people if you can empathize with them. Try to identify with the people around you and understand where they’re coming from. This is a great way to see people as individuals and get rid of any preconceived motions you may have had.[8]
    • Volunteer work is a good way to see how other people live. You can really broaden your horizons this way.
    • Good listening is also a good way to understand people and their needs better.
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8

Admit when you’re wrong.

  1. This isn’t fun and no one wants to do it, but it’s an important quality. Believing you can never be wrong is a selfish quality. Don’t act like you know all the answers. Accept that other people might have the correct answers, and if you are wrong, own it and admit it. This will probably feel better than you’re expecting it to![9] [10]
    • This usually makes your personal relationships stronger too. Friends, family, and partners probably won’t like it if you act like you’re never wrong.
    • Remember that being wrong is an opportunity to learn. If you pretend you’re never wrong, you won’t be able to grow as a person.
9

Let others be the center of attention.

  1. Selfish people are one-uppers and don’t like when others get attention. Be willing to take a step back and let others enjoy their accomplishments without trying to focus attention on yourself. Don’t worry—you’ll have your day too![11]
    • If the boss compliments someone at work, for example, offer them a nice congratulations. Maybe you wanted some attention for your work too, but let your coworker have their moment.
    • You might not notice if you’re a one-upper, but try to monitor your behavior when someone else is getting attention. If you feel like you want that attention focused on you instead, then this might be something to work on.
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10

Don’t have rewards in mind when you help others.

  1. The point of being selfless is making the world a better place. If you’re hoping for rewards when you help others, then you’re not really being selfless. Forget about being paid back for what you do and take satisfaction in your good work instead.[12] [13]
    • Over time, you’ll realize that helping others makes you feel good, which is like a reward in itself.
    • Note that this doesn’t mean you should continue giving all your effort to people who don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you, like in a relationship. This leads to resentment on your part.[14]

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    What is considered a selfless act?
    Julia Yacoob, PhD
    Julia Yacoob, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York City. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized training at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Association, Women’s Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies.
    Julia Yacoob, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    A selfless act is done out of the goodness of someone's heart—they aren't expecting acknowledgment or appreciation for what they've done, nor are they expecting to get something in return.
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About This Article

Julia Yacoob, PhD
Co-authored by:
Clinical Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Julia Yacoob, PhD. Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York City. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized training at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Association, Women’s Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies. This article has been viewed 260,292 times.
16 votes - 83%
Co-authors: 15
Updated: August 25, 2021
Views: 260,292
Categories: Social Interactions
Article SummaryX

Being selfless is all about developing empathy for others and making their lives easier. Listen to as many different points of view as you can to broaden your perspective and get a better idea of how people think and feel. Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes and imagine how they feel. For example, if your friend or coworker’s just had a fight with their partner, they’re probably feeling a little down so try to be extra kind and patient with them. Even when no one’s watching, you can do selfless acts like refilling the printer paper when it’s running low or handing in lost property. You should also take pleasure in other people’s happiness and celebrate with them when good things happen to spread positivity. For more tips, including how to forgive people who hurt you, read on!

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