How to Be Sexy

Co-authored by Kalee Hewlett and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: December 17, 2021 References

Being sexy means something different to everyone, so there’s no single way to be sexy. However, the one thing that can make anyone appear sexier is confidence! Appearing confident is all about body language, styling yourself right, and showing off your personality. By putting yourself out there and being true to yourself, you can be the sexiest you possible.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Styling Yourself

1
Build a wardrobe that makes you feel fabulous. You don’t need the most expensive clothes to look amazing. Try on everything in your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel amazing. Make sure every item you keep boosts your confidence.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Kalee Hewlett
Image Consultant
Expert Interview. 23 April 2019.} When you buy new clothes, only purchase items that make you feel attractive.^{[2]
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- Don’t worry about what’s “sexy.” Looking sexy depends on how much confidence you have, and wearing clothes that make you feel fabulous will help you convey confidence.
- If you wear glasses, choose frames that fit well with your wardrobe and flatter your face shape. Be bold in your selection because it will make you appear more confident.
2
Show off your best features. It’s okay if you don’t think your body is perfect because no one does. That doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy! To build your sex appeal, decide which features you think are your best.^{[3]
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Kalee Hewlett
Image Consultant
Expert Interview. 23 April 2019.} Then, play them up by choosing clothing or makeup that shows them off.^{[4]
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- For example, let’s say your best features are your eyes and your legs. You might wear mascara and eyeshadow to enhance your eyes and clothing that accentuates your legs.
3
Maintain good hygiene by bathing daily. People will find you more appealing if you’re clean and smell nice. Keep yourself clean and well-groomed by showering or bathing every day. Use soap and personal care products like deodorant to keep yourself smelling great.^{[5]
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- Wash and condition your hair at least 2-4 times a week. If your hair gets really dirty, use dry shampoo between washes.
4
Care for your skin and nails. Apply moisturizer to your face every morning and night to nourish your skin and use body lotion or cream daily to keep your body soft and supple. Additionally, trim and file your fingernails and toenails weekly or biweekly to keep them in good shape.^{[6]
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- It’s up to you if you want to shave your face or body hair. You might shave your legs and underarms, or you might choose to let them grow. Similarly, you might decide to shave or trim your beard, or you may decide to let your facial hair grow. You’re sexiest when you’re being true to yourself!
- Nail polish can be really sexy, but it isn’t necessary. Wear it if you like it or skip it if you don’t.
5
Pick a hairstyle that flatters your face and expresses your style. How you feel about your hair is more important than the haircut you choose. Try to wear your hair in a way that makes you feel confident. Choose a style that frames your face well and shows off your sense of style.^{[7]
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- Any hairstyle can be sexy, so don’t feel like you have to pick a particular hairstyle. For instance, a shaved head can be a very sexy look for any gender if you wear it with confidence.
6
Choose a signature scent if you wear perfume. You don’t have to wear perfume to be sexy, but spritzing yourself with your favorite scent can create an impression in people’s memories. This makes you memorable, which will help you appear sexier. Pick a scent that appeals to you and fits with your personality. Then, wear it every day so that people associate it with you.^{[8]
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- Put your perfume on your neck or wrists, which are your pulse points.
- Just spritz a little perfume onto yourself, such as 1-2 sprays. If you wear too much, it can turn people off.
7
Wear something red to draw eyes to you. The color red makes you appear attractive to other people on an unconscious level, so it’s an easy way to appear sexier. Wear a red dress, shirt, skirt, or pants to draw all eyes to you. Alternatively, add a pop of red with a scarf or tie.^{[9]
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- Use red when you want to impress people. For instance, you might wear a red dress or blazer to your high school reunion.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Body Language

1
Leave your wrists exposed because they give off pheromones. You have glands in your wrists that emit pheromones, which are a chemical substance that your body makes. Pheromones attract other people to you, so they’ll make people more interested in you. Avoid wearing sleeves or jewelry that cover your wrists when you want to appear sexier.^{[10]
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- For instance, you might wear a jacket or cardigan with 3/4-length sleeves so your wrists are exposed.
- If you put perfume on your wrists, the scent will stand out because your wrists are pulse points. However, the smell will mask your natural pheromones.
2
Slow down and accentuate your body movements. When you move slowly, it draws eyes to you and makes you seem more alluring. Slow down your walk, arm movements, and gestures. Act like you have all the time in the world and are just enjoying being yourself.^{[11]
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- For instance, walk slowly so you can add a sway or swagger to each step.
- There will be times when you’re in a rush and need to hurry, and that's okay. Don’t feel like you always have to alluring.
3
Make eye contact so you appear confident. Eye contact shows people that you’re confident, even if you don’t always feel that way. When you see people, look them in the eye to acknowledge their presence. Similarly, make sustained eye contact while you’re talking to someone.^{[12]
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- Eye contact is typically brief, so you might meet someone's eyes and then look away. If you focus on their eyes for too long, it can turn into staring.
- If making eye contact is hard for you, practice so it becomes easier. Start by making eye contact with yourself in a mirror, then do it with a person you care about. Over time, you’ll get better at making eye contact.
4
Touch people lightly to establish a connection with them. When you’re talking to someone, lightly touch them on the arm or shoulder blade to show them you’re focused on them. Alternatively, lightly graze against them. This makes them feel like you’re truly interested in them, which makes you more appealing.^{[13]
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- Only use touch when you feel confident that the other person will like being touched. For instance, it’s okay to lightly touch someone who’s a friend or on a date with you. However, it’s not a good idea to touch a coworker.
5
Smile to draw people to you. When you smile, it brightens your face and makes you appear friendly and approachable. Additionally, you can use different types of smiles to make yourself more alluring. For instance, a sly or lopsided smile can make you look mysterious, a one-sided smile can appear flirty, an open-mouth smile radiates joy, and a lip-biting smile can be suggestive.^{[14]
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- Practice smiling in the mirror to help you get better at it. Then, you can flash your smile at the people you encounter.
6
Wink at people to be a little flirty. Giving people a quick wink draws attention to you and makes you seem bold and confident. Also, it's an easy way to seem flirty without actually having to talk to people. Wink at people occasionally to make yourself seem sexy and intriguing.^{[15]
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- For instance, you might wink at your crush as you're passing them.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Showing off Your Personality

1
Fill your life with things you enjoy so you’re having fun. Being fun draws people to you, which makes you more appealing. The best way to be fun is to have fun, so include more enjoyable things in your life. Try to do at least 1 fun thing a day to help you develop a fun attitude.^{[16]
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- For example, invite your friends to go bowling, host a game night, get a manicure, meet a friend for coffee, or take an art class.
- Try to have fun both alone and with others.
2
Try new things because they make you seem intriguing. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone because bravery is sexy. Challenge yourself to do new things, like going to a new restaurant or rock climbing. This will make people view you as confident and exciting, which are sexy qualities.^{[17]
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- At the start of every year, make a list of new things you want to try. Then, try to check off 1 or 2 every month.
- When someone suggests a new thing, be the first to volunteer to try it.
3
Be kind because it draws people to you. While it’s simple, being nice to people goes a long way. It makes people see you as an appealing person, which can translate to sexiness. Always treat people well and offer compliments when you have something nice to say.^{[18]
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- Try to give at least 1 compliment a day. You might say, “That color looks great on you,” or “Your presentation was stellar.”
4
Show off your smarts. While you might think sexiness is about looks, being knowledgeable and intelligent are both viewed as sexy. Develop your mind by constantly learning new things. Then, show off that knowledge by talking about topics that interest you and sharing your skills with others.^{[19]
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- You can learn more by reading, keeping up with the news, watching documentaries, and taking classes for fun.
- When you have a lot of knowledge, carrying on a conversation is easier because you have a lot to say.
5
Develop your sense of humor. Being able to share and understand humor makes you more appealing to others. To improve your sense of humor, watch comedies and Stand-Up to get a feel for how jokes work. Then, practice telling funny jokes and stories to your closest friends or relatives.^{[20]
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- When people make jokes, laugh along to show them you have a great sense of humor.
- Taking a comedy writing or improv class can help you be a lot funnier in your daily life.
6
Adopt a positive attitude so you give off good vibes. Being positive will make you more appealing to other people. To help yourself be more positive, keep a gratitude journal so you can recognize the good things in your life. Additionally, use positive affirmations like “Today is a good day” and “I’m doing awesome” to keep yourself upbeat.^{[21]
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- Begin your gratitude journal by writing down 3-5 things you’re grateful for today. You might write, “Dinner with my family,” “My job,” and “Summer sunshine.” Then, add 3-5 things to your list every day. When you feel bummed, read over your gratitude journal.
- Everyone goes through rough times, so don’t feel like you have to be happy all of the time.
7
Surround yourself with friends to seem more appealing. Being part of a group makes you seem popular, which makes you more alluring. When you’re out, invite friends or family members to join you. If you’re going alone, talk to the people you meet or stand close to a group so you appear to be part of it.^{[22]
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- Try making small talk with the people you encounter. You might say, “Is this your first time here?” “What menu items do you recommend?” or “Are you up for a game of pool or darts?”
8
Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel crummy. Since being sexy is all about confidence, it's best to avoid things that threaten your self-esteem. Social media accounts that feature perfect bodies and unattainable standards may make you feel bad about yourself. To prevent this, click unfollow on accounts that bring your down. Instead, follow pages that lift you up and inspire you.^{[23]
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- It’s okay to want to change things about yourself that you don’t like. That’s how you grow as a person. However, your inspiration for change should be positive, not rooted in self-doubt.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I hide panty lines when I'm wearing something sexy?

Kalee Hewlett
Image Consultant
Kalee Hewlett is a Celebrity Stylist & Confidence Coach with almost two decades of experience helping clients build confidence and ‘dress for success.' She works with her clients to transform their sense of self 'from the inside out’ by merging her expertise in image consulting with Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Kalee’s work is rooted in science, style, and the understanding that ‘identity is destiny'. She uses her own methodology and Style To Success Strategy to create positive identity shifts. Kalee is a fashion TV host and appears regularly on QVC UK sharing her fashion expertise. She also was appointed as the head judge and host of Fashion One Network’s 6-part TV show 'Design Genius.’

Kalee Hewlett

Image Consultant

Expert Answer

Shapewear is really the secret to disguising panty liners. There are a tons of different designs out there to choose from, but that's really your best choice.
Question

How do I become the hottest version of myself?

Kalee Hewlett
Image Consultant
Kalee Hewlett is a Celebrity Stylist & Confidence Coach with almost two decades of experience helping clients build confidence and ‘dress for success.' She works with her clients to transform their sense of self 'from the inside out’ by merging her expertise in image consulting with Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Kalee’s work is rooted in science, style, and the understanding that ‘identity is destiny'. She uses her own methodology and Style To Success Strategy to create positive identity shifts. Kalee is a fashion TV host and appears regularly on QVC UK sharing her fashion expertise. She also was appointed as the head judge and host of Fashion One Network’s 6-part TV show 'Design Genius.’

Kalee Hewlett

Image Consultant

Expert Answer

Choose clothes that best compliment your body shape and lifestyle. Choose colors that compliment your skin tone, hair, and eye color. The big trick is to wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable. It's hard to feel hot if you aren't wearing clothes that make you feel uncomfortable!
Question

Should I show my boobs if I'm trying to be sexy?

Community Answer

No. I mean, unless you want to. Being sexy isn't all about showing yourself off, it's more about how you feel about yourself. Have ever heard the saying "I think therefore I am"? You have to believe that you are sexy to be sexy.