How to Be a Good Host when Friends Come to Your House

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: February 20, 2022 Approved

Having friends round is fun and all, but not for them if you're a bad host! Being a good host and making them feel welcome is key to a good time together. Read on to learn how you can be the "hostess with the most!"

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Welcoming Your Friends

1
Welcome your friends. When they arrive smile, and say "hi", then let them come in. Be polite and friendly, and make sure to ask them how they are.^{[1]
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- Introduce your friends to people in the household they don't yet know.
- Offer compliments on how they look and offer gratitude for any gifts that they bring with them.
2
Let your friends know about your house. If it is the first time at your house give them a 'house tour', to let them know where everything is. Be alert to the fact that it's better to show guests the bathroom and let them know where they can do such things as change a baby's diaper, grab a glass of water, etc. without having to ask you direct.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 16 February 2022.}
- If there is somewhere your friends shouldn't go, such as a baby's room, an elderly person's room, etc., make this clear. It's better than having them embarrassed by wandering into baby's room and waking baby up when looking for the bathroom, etc.^{[3]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Offering Refreshments

1
Start with an offer of a drink.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 16 February 2022.} If possible, have a selection of drinks (water, orange juice, apple juice, coke, lemonade, etc.) to make sure that you have something they like. Always have fresh, clean water on hand, and make sure all cups and glasses are clean for your friend to drink out of.^{[5]
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- If you don't have a lot of room or money to spare, ask what sorts of drinks they like before they come over. Remember this for future visits.
- Keep an eye on the drinks during the time your friends are with you. Offer top ups as needed.
2
Offer your friends a snack.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 16 February 2022.} Have a small platter set up in advance. Some good snacks include:^{[7]
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- Chips
- Cheese
- Crackers
- Dip.
3
Ask your friends what they would like to do if you haven't already planned something. Have a couple of board games on hand to play, and some magazines to look at. If you have a garden, ask if they would like to go and play outside. If you have a pool, and it is warm, beforehand ask your friend to bring their bathers so you can go swimming. Having a chat over the nibbles is also a great way to spend the time together.
- If the friends are children, have things ready for them to do.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

On Leaving

1
Help your friends find all of their bits and pieces before leaving. If you noticed they were carrying something but seem to have forgotten it, ask about it.
- If your friends brought food, see if they need the dish back. Either clean it now or offer to return it later if this is impractical.
2
Thank your friends for coming over. Say that you've had a wonderful time and hope that you can all get together again some time soon. Let them know that they are welcome again any day.^{[8]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How do you prepare a bathroom for guests?

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.

Tami Claytor

Etiquette Coach

Expert Answer

Make sure there's plenty of toilet paper on hand! The worst thing ever is when your guests run out of toilet paper and can't find a new roll. Also, think about getting disposable hand towels rather than cloth towels, so people aren't using the same cloths to dry their hands.
Question

What food should I buy for a party?

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.

Tami Claytor

Etiquette Coach

Expert Answer

Buy a wide variety of food that caters to different dietary restrictions! Some people might be vegan or have other specific preferences, so you want to make sure there's plenty for everyone to eat.
Question

How far in advance should you plan a party?

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.

Tami Claytor

Etiquette Coach

Expert Answer

Plan the party early—don't wait until the last second to invite people and get everything together. As you prepare, ask yourself if you want the party to be a themed event, what the occasion is, and who you want to attend.

Warnings

If your friend's children are committing mayhem in your house, it is perfectly okay to ask the children to stop. Find them something to distract them. At the same time, keep smiling and let the parents know it's okay, you just don't want the carpet/wall/whatever painted another color but you're happy for them to do X instead. Do not scold the kids; that's the parent's job.

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Helpful 57 Not Helpful 8
Never make the guest feel uncomfortable. Even if you decide halfway through that your friend's a boor and you want to call it all off, stay polite and be the perfect host until the end. You can resolve personal issues on another occasion. Don't try to avoid them, either. That might make them a bit sad.

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Helpful 24 Not Helpful 2
You may be tempted to comment on table manners. Don't. It's not your place.

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