How to Be a Good Talker

Co-authored by Patrick Muñoz

Last Updated: June 9, 2022 References

Want to boost your conversational skills? Being a good talker is pretty easy, as long as you're willing to make a few small adjustments to your day-to-day chats and convos. We've got you covered with plenty of tips, tricks, and suggestions. In just a few minutes, you can take your conversations to a new level!

1

Put forth an appropriate body presentation.

Good body language is a "must" for a good talker. Are you convincing someone -- if so, your words become more effective with a nice smile. You can not afford any bad gesture or weak logic at that time. If you do not have a natural smile on your face, then assume that, "I am playing a role in a particular kind of movie or drama." You should act like a professional actor/actress would do, by bringing the right gestures on your face and body for your situation. ^{[1]
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- A stony, seemingly uncaring face is boring, confusing and self-defeating.
- Make eye contact with the person while you're talking to sound more convincing and persuasive.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Patrick Muñoz
  Voice & Speech Coach
  Expert Interview. 22 November 2019.}

2

Use well-chosen words to make a good sentence.

Try to share your thoughts at the right place and exact time needed. It is only possible by reading the situation instantly, using your automatic senses -- not like some autopilot, or robot, but being natural and fitting. For this purpose, to read the situation, you should be a good observer, or become a good observer/listener, and make a special effort to show a good kind and degree of response.^{[3]
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3

Make brief breaks in your sentences.

Pause momentarily where it seems natural. This means that you should give a little time to the other to absorb the words of your sentence. Allow questions, objections and remarks. Here once again you will need a strong observation about the surroundings and the interests of the person to whom you are talking. If you feel that he/she has little interest in your talk, then try to wind up your topic or intermix with another topic and bend your perspective in a connective manner.

4

Avoid confronting someone directly through your words.

Unnecessary confrontation doesn't accomplish very much in a conversation. If you do confront someone, you may have lost the value of your sentences by inducing negative feelings. Be kind to one another.^{[4]
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5

Match your body language to your conversation.

Some conversations demand more physical interaction than others. If you are discussing business deals in an office or in some other rather formal places then just a confident measure in your voice and smiling is enough to support your words, and then an appropriate firm handshake, bowing if appropriate, on greeting and parting may be welcome and impressive. But, if you are in a garden with someone on a walk, then it may be good to walk hand in hand, if that is appropriate for the persons involved.

6

Don't demand explanations from other people.

Good, impressive talkers avoid asking for too much explanation. Steer clear of demands such as "Tell me what you mean!" or a question like, "What do you mean?" Over-doing your talk may bore, or insult the listener, lose the person's attention and the value and importance of the matter which you are discussing.^{[5]
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7

Listen to your partner with complete patience.

Good listening skills are a critical part of being a good talker. If you are not willing to listen to him/her, then assume that, "I am listening to a radio DJ, that I must listen to on how to win a prize, or to get very important news and information." While listening to your partner, it is must that you to respond actively with your body language (normally smile, nod with agreement) and use brief expressions spaced throughout like "Yes.", "I agree.", "You are right.", etc, etc.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Patrick Muñoz
Voice & Speech Coach
Expert Interview. 22 November 2019.}
- This step will assure him/her that you are fully interested to listen, talk or discuss, and obviously your partner will give you a reward (such as accepting your plan or buying your product) in the end of your discussion.^{[7]
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8

Watch your tone.

Always keep your tone according to the meaning of the sentence. You should not say an aggressive sentence with a polite tone -- or vice versa. That would seem sarcastic or as "reverse logic". If you do so, it will hurt your chances of a good result in your relationship with your partner a lot.

9

Choose a good volume.

Try to strike a happy medium. Your voice must not be so loud that passing people can understand you easily but not so low that it brings difficulty to your partner in hearing.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Patrick Muñoz
Voice & Speech Coach
Expert Interview. 22 November 2019.} In both cases your partner will feel an insult or uneasiness about what is spoken.

10

Change the topic when necessary.

Don't stick with a topic if it makes someone else uncomfortable. Still, it is also a bad idea to change your topic very suddenly, or all at once. So, link your continuing sentences with the other topic to flow onward with purpose, not breaking the spirit of the relationship for communicating successfully.^{[9]
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Community Q&A

Question

How can I get girls to like me?

Community Answer

Try being relaxed and yourself. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Smile and be pleasant. Girls generally like guys that smell good and are funny.
Question

How can all of these points be achieved if I'm not that smart?

Community Answer

Smart has nothing to do with being able to be a good talker. Just remember the steps and you will make it.