How to Be a More Romantic Woman to a Man

Co-authored by Mary Church, PhD and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: December 7, 2021 References

Sometimes it can be hard to figure out how to up the romance in a relationship, especially if you've been dating for a while. Whether you’re sharing words of love, showering him with kindness, or offering physical touch, there are so many ways to show your love. Read on for tips on how to add some excitement and passion to your interactions with your guy. Here are 11 ways to turn up the romance.

1

Compliment him.

Even a small compliment can mean a lot. If you're out and about and notice how handsome he looks in his new T-shirt, tell him. They may not always make it obvious, but guys like being flattered just as much as anyone else.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Make sure he knows how sexy, kind, and funny you find him and give compliments that are genuine and specific to him.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- To make him feel super handsome, say something like, "I love it when you wear that shirt. You always look so hot in it."
- Be sure to compliment his personality, too. If he sends you a funny text, for example, text back, "You're the funniest guy in the world. This made my day!"

2

Tell him how grateful you are for him.

Never take his presence or love for granted. Tell him how happy you are to have him in your life.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Do so freely and often so he never forgets how happy he makes you. It'll up his confidence and make him feel awesome around you.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Next time he does something nice for you, say something like, "I don't know what I would do without you. You're the sweetest and I'm so lucky."
- Give him a call on your break at work to tell him how much you love him. Say something like, "Just wanted to say I love you and that I'm so happy to have you in my life. Can't wait to see you when I get home!'

3

Text him throughout the day.

This shows that he's on your mind, even when you're not together. Short, sweet texts that encourage him and let him know that you miss him go a long way in letting him know that you care.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Text something like, "Missing you! Can't wait to get home :)"
- Don't be afraid to be a little flirty. Text him something like, "Can't stop thinking about your cute face."
- A NSFW text might really up the romance, but take some precautions if you go this route. Only send pictures or texts you're comfortable with, make sure you trust him, and give him some warning if he's out or at work.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}

4

Write him romantic letters and notes.

Tailor your notes to him specifically. First, brainstorm the things that you really love about your man. Find specific things, like his sense of spontaneity, his one-of-a-kind sense of humor, or even something super unique to him, like his cute ears or his freckles.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Pick your favorites and write out the letter on a nice piece of paper or stationary. Address the letter to him or use a cute pet name, like "My love" or "My sweetheart."^{[8]
X
Research source}
- Mail him the letter if you're in a long-distance relationship, or hand-deliver it to him along with a little gift, flowers, or his favorite candy.

5

Give him gifts, both big and small.

This is a great way to show that you care. Pick up his favorite coffee drink if you're meeting up for a morning walk. Make a playlist of songs that you think he would really like and send it to him. If he lives out of town, arrange for flowers to be delivered to his apartment.
- You don't have to spend a lot of money to show that you care. Handmade gifts are wonderfully romantic, and the effort it takes to make them means way more than any amount of money.

6

Do nice things for him.

This means a lot, especially if there's no occasion other than wanting to make him feel good. Cook him his favorite meal. Take care of his least favorite chore, especially if he's been super stressed lately. Give him a ride to work to make his commute easier and to spend a little extra time with him in the morning.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Other nice things you can try include giving him a massage while you watch TV together and waking up early to make him breakfast in bed.

7

Plan date nights and spontaneous trips to keep things exciting.

No matter how busy you are, it's important to set aside time to spend with your man. Plan a date night at least once a week where you go out to eat or cook a nice dinner at your apartment. Go on a day trip together next time you both have a day off. Set aside time just to be together, with no distractions! Making time for him in your schedule will really show that he means a lot to you.^{[10]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- When you're together, turn off your phone and be attentive to your guy.
- If you've been dating for a long time, do new things together to keep things fresh. Eat at a restaurant you've both never been to before, hike a new trail, or take a class together.

8

Encourage him to do his own thing.

Showing support for your man's hobbies and interests is actually super romantic. Be happy for him when he has plans with his friends. Encourage him to keep up with his hobbies like playing the drums or writing short stories.^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Show how secure and confident you are in your relationship by supporting his individual goals, interests, and endeavors in life.^{[12]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- It's completely normal if you get a little jealous sometimes when your man has plans without you. Remember that it's actually super beneficial for your relationship to keep up with your own hobbies, interests, and friendships.

9

Show him love through your touch.

Actions can speak louder than words. Hug and kiss him when you greet him. Cuddle when you're watching TV together. Lay in bed together just to talk and hang out with each other. He'll appreciate the physical affection, and it'll bring you closer.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Only do what you're both comfortable with. If you're not feeling very touchy or your partner isn't super physically affectionate, you can be romantic in other ways. Try expressing your love through words or acts of kindness instead.

10

Be affectionate in public.

This doesn't have to be over-the-top—just subtle and sweet. Hold his hand when you're going on a walk together. Give him a quick kiss when you greet him at a restaurant. Put your head on his shoulder while you're waiting for a movie to start at the theater. A little PDA shows that you're proud to be seen with him.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- It's okay if one or both of you isn't super into PDA. Talk about what you're comfortable with, whether it be hand-holding or a brief kiss on the cheek, so that you both feel good about it.

11

Experiment in the bedroom.

Talk about each other's fantasies, and ask him if he's ever liked to try anything new. If you're comfortable with what he says, go ahead and try it. This will show that you care about his satisfaction, and trying new things together can make you feel more comfortable with each other.^{[15]
X
Research source}
- Emphasize his satisfaction, but don't forget about your own. Only try things you're both comfortable and excited about, and never feel any pressure to try something you don't want to do.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I deepen my relationship with my boyfriend?

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Mary Church is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of clinical experience, she aims to integrate evolution, genetics, and neuroscience within the practice of psychotherapy. Dr. Church holds a BS in Psychology from Eckerd College and an MS and PhD in Experimental Psychology from The University of Memphis. She completed a Post-Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at The University of Hawaii at Manoa. In addition, Dr. Church is a member of the American Evaluation Association and Hawaii-Pacific Evaluation Association.

Mary Church, PhD

Research & Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Focus on improving the communication in your relationship. It's important to both you and your boyfriend are communicating in a healthy way, especially if one of you tends to be more passive and the other tends to be more assertive.
Question

How can I be more romantic everyday?

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Mary Church is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of clinical experience, she aims to integrate evolution, genetics, and neuroscience within the practice of psychotherapy. Dr. Church holds a BS in Psychology from Eckerd College and an MS and PhD in Experimental Psychology from The University of Memphis. She completed a Post-Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at The University of Hawaii at Manoa. In addition, Dr. Church is a member of the American Evaluation Association and Hawaii-Pacific Evaluation Association.

Mary Church, PhD

Research & Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Try to add more excitement to your relationship. When you first start going out with someone, there's plenty of excitement since you don't know each other well. However, when you get used to each other, your relationship starts to fall into a groove. Upping the excitement helps boost the romance in your relationship!
Question

How do I set up for a romantic surprise?

Madeleine Criglow

Community Answer

You could hint to him that you're preparing a surprise, or you could be spontaneous and just go for it to really surprise him. He'll appreciate your efforts either way!