What Makes an Alpha Male Fall in Love? 11 Ways to Attract and Win Over an Alpha Male

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: May 29, 2022 References

Do you have your eyes set on an ambitious and attractive alpha male? He’s super popular and commands everyone’s attention, but you can definitely steal the show, too. If you glow with confidence and determination, he’ll look for a long-lasting romance with you. We’ll share some tips on how to capture his heart so your favorite alpha male won’t just chase you—he’ll actually fall madly in love.

1

He loves to be listened to and praised.

Repeat what he’s said and he’ll know you’re focused on him. You’ll dazzle him if you notice every small detail and react to all his comments. Give him strong eye contact, lean forward, and smile. After you’ve heard him out, give him your own feedback or ask questions. Compliment him if he mentions his accomplishments or what he’s proud of. If you’re fascinated with him, he’ll seriously fall for you. For example, you could tell him: ^{[1]
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- ”Those marathons sound intense. You’re so strong and disciplined!”
- “That’s so cool that you’ve backpacked across Europe three times! What was your favorite spot?”
- “You got a promotion in just six months? Your work ethic is intense!”

2

He looks for an impressive fashion sense.

Express yourself with a creative style and you’ll inspire him. You can follow your favorite trends, or you can put together a whole new look. Bring attention to all the physical features you’re proud of. He’ll be drawn to your elegance and inner confidence. As long as you hold your head high and walk with a little strut, he’ll notice how you rock any piece or accessory.^{[2]
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- If you want to show off more of your body, you can wear form-fitting clothes.
- You can also style an outfit around a personal trait, like your artistic or sporty side.
- Feel free to experiment with new looks. He’ll like that you’re willing to take risks.

3

He wants to hear about your passions.

Share what makes you lose track of time and he’ll spend all day with you. Tell him about all the hobbies or projects that you love. Describe how they give you a lot of happiness and a sense of balance. He’ll want to go on one date after the other and listen to you gush about your skills and talents. Talk about the activities that mean a lot to you and he’ll know that you understand yourself really well. For example, you can say: ^{[3]
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- "If I couldn’t dance, I’d lose my mind! I go to salsa competitions every month."
- "I’ve been into painting since I was a kid. I actually had my first gallery opening last week!"
- "I’ve recently gotten into making jewelry. I’ve sold some of my pieces in a few boutiques."

4

He’ll warm up if you’re grateful for his time.

Focus on the days he makes available for you and he’ll prioritize you. Since an alpha man is really driven and has a packed schedule, you’ll win him over if you savor every minute you spend with him. Say that you know he has a lot on his agenda. Then, tell him that you appreciate that he found a special moment just for you. He’ll find more opportunities to share his life with you.^{[4]
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- Let him vent about all his responsibilities if he needs to. Then, give him loads of affection. He’ll come to you when he needs an escape.
- Keep your discussion light and positive to make the most of your time together.
- If you bring up that it's been a long time, stay upbeat. For example, you can say: "I’ve missed you! I’m glad to finally see you again."

5

He’ll like that you’re busy and text infrequently.

Send him a message once in a while to keep him curious. You can even let a couple days go by and not say anything at all.^{[5]
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Research source} When you do reach out again, tell him what you’ve been up to. He’ll realize he’s been craving your company. You can say something like: ^{[6]
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- "Work was just non-stop this week! Totally worth it, though. I crushed my presentation!"
- "That retreat was just what I needed. I feel so relaxed and learned so much about myself."
- "I just took more finals than I’ve ever had in my life! Aced them all, though!"

6

He appreciates chats about your goals.

Talk about how you’ll be successful and he’ll want to keep you close. Since he likes to focus on self-improvement, he wants a partner with a similar lifestyle. Share the standards you set for yourself, and let him know that you’re always on the lookout for new challenges. Reassure him that when he invests in you, he lifts himself up. For example, you can give him some great tips: ^{[7]
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- "Oh, I’ve got to share this podcast with you. The host is like a mentor to me. Check out the episode on determination!"
- "I swear by eight hours of sleep and eating enough protein. It gives me enough energy to conquer my day!"
- "I spend at least one hour a day on my artistic projects. What’s your routine?"

7

He wants you to share your standards for a relationship.

Open up about your expectations for love and he’ll respect your honesty. It’s okay to be completely vulnerable. Even though an alpha male is bold and fearless, he knows that you show true strength when you tell him what makes you feel safe and respected. You can also talk about what excites or satisfies you.^{[8]
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Research source} He’ll listen closely and want to prove that you can trust him.^{[9]
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- "I am looking for a man I can be myself with. Authenticity matters a lot to me."
- "I think loyalty is so important. I want someone who has my back."
- "I believe fun really matters in a relationship! I want to look forward to adventures."

8

He appreciates someone who remains independent.

Stay true to yourself even when you become exclusive. If he settles down with you, he still wants you to chase your dreams. Show him that you can take care of yourself every day and that having him in your life is a bonus instead of a necessity. Attend events by yourself, hang out with your friends, and enjoy your alone time.^{[10]
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Research source} He’ll be smitten with your sense of freedom and want to watch you grow.^{[11]
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- "There’s a book signing tonight that I’m dying to go to! I’ll see you tomorrow."
- "I’m going camping with my friends!"
- "I’m taking this weekend off to garden and meditate."

9

He’ll melt if you keep your intimacy exciting.

Spice up your love life and he’ll know you always have fun surprises. An alpha male is practically addicted to passion and the thrill of the chase. Show him you’re a really creative partner and try out new tricks. Experiment with fantasies or different ways to seduce him. When you tell him he’s always worth the extra effort, he’ll pull out all the stops for you.^{[12]
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- Tell him if you want more frequency in your love life. For example, you can say, “I am still so into you and need more of you.”
- Try out a night where you dress up like you did for your first date and play hard to get. He’ll love that the experience feels new and fresh again.
- Ask him what he’s always been curious about: "What have you always wanted to do with me?"

10

He’ll jump at the chance to help you.

Share your problems with him and let him offer solutions. You’ll motivate him if you’re open about your challenges. Bring up a situation that needs teamwork.^{[13]
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Research source} For example, you might want to host a big dinner party, so he’ll be excited to set the table. Once you’ve split tasks with him, he’ll also give advice on subjects he has a lot of knowledge about. If you listen to his pointers and appreciate all his support, he’ll want to keep enhancing your life. ^{[14]
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- "Do you think you can help me set the table? This dinner party is super important to me! I think it’s a chance to network with a lot of people."
- "You made a good point there! I think I will charge a little more for my products. I definitely want to make more of a profit."
- He also loves to help out in small ways that go unnoticed. For instance, he might order your favorite food on the weekends just because that makes you smile after working hard.^{[15]
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11

He’ll commit if you support each other’s dreams.

Continue to talk about your future together and he’ll fall deeply in love. Have regular chats about how to improve your lives and look for the ways that your values match up.^{[16]
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Research source} For example, you may want to eat healthy and he may prioritize fitness, so you both can meal prep together. Talk about specific steps to move closer to your bigger goals. After you’ve achieved one dream, come up with another. He’ll notice the ambition you both share and know you’re a power couple that will stand the test of time.^{[17]
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- "I definitely want to eat more protein, and you want to make some gains, so let’s meal prep this Sunday! I’m so glad we’re both supporting each other’s health."
- "I want to pass all my finals and you want to get that big promotion, so we should both make sure we get enough sleep. We need to be on our A-game!"
- "We both reached all of our goals! Okay, what’s next?"