How to Be Romantic

Co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Ooh, la la! Romance is in the air. You’re in love, and you want to show your special someone what they mean to you. Whether your relationship is new or you’ve been together for ages, you can easily make your love swoon.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Being Thoughtful

1
Leave love notes for your partner to find. Romantic notes make your love feel special and remind them of your love. Write a short message about how you feel. Say something like, “I love you,” “Have a wonderful day! I can’t wait to see you,” “I’m so lucky I met you. You’re simply the best!” Put the note somewhere you know your love will see it.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.} Here are some ideas:
- Write “I love you” in the steam on the bathroom mirror or in the sand at the beach.
- Place a sticky note on their dresser, the bathroom mirror, the coffee pot, or somewhere you know they’ll find it.
- Put a note in their lunch, backpack, or briefcase.
- Leave a note in their suitcase if they’re traveling.
- Send them a love letter through the mail for a special surprise.
2
Send romantic texts or emails throughout your day. While you don’t want to smother your love with constant messages, text them periodically or send an email to let them know you’re thinking of them. Don't go overboard -- just a few messages each day will get the point across.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- Text them something like, “I hope your day is going well! Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you,” or “Hey hottie! How’s your afternoon going?”
- You might write in an email, “Dear Mina, I’ve been thinking about how much fun we had at dinner last night. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I can’t wait to see you again.”
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3
Show physical affection to your loved one to deepen your connection. Physical affection is more than just kissing. Give your love soft touches, hold their hand, hug them, and cuddle with them. This will build a romantic connection between you two.^{[3]
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Research source} Here are some ways you can be more affectionate:
- Hold hands on a walk or while sitting next to each other.
- Cuddle up on the couch to watch TV.
- Put your arm around your partner while you’re sitting together.
- Kiss and hug your partner hello and goodbye.
- Surprise your love with a hug from behind or a kiss on the neck (if you know they’re okay with it).
4
Compliment your partner every day to show you care. Tell your partner everything you love about them so they know how special they are to you. Talk about their looks, their personality, and their accomplishments. Try to compliment them at least once a day so they know you still appreciate them. Give the compliment in person, via text, or in a note. you could say something like:^{[4]
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Research source}
- “You look beautiful today.”
- “Wow, you look amazing in that suit.”
- “Dinner was delicious."
- "You’re such a good cook.”
- “Way to go on your work project.”
5
Do nice things for your partner without expecting anything in return. Show your love how much you care through your actions. Perform favors for them or surprise them with generosity, which will make them feel special.^{[5]
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Research source} Here are some things you might do for them:
- Make their coffee in the morning.
- Pay for your date.
- Pick up the groceries or some takeout.
- Make them dinner when they’re working late.
- Walk the dog or clean the cat box.
- Run an errand for them.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Giving Romantic Gifts

1
Write your partner a love poem. Express your feelings about them, reminisce about an experience you shared, or write about what you love about your partner. Don’t worry about rhyming your poem. Just explain what you feel.^{[6]
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Research source} Here are some super cute ways to deliver the poem to your love:
- Fold the poem into a heart shape before giving it to them.
- Wrap the poem around a bottle of water or sparkling cider.
- Put the message in a bottle for an extra special gift.
2
Create a love song playlist for your partner. Curate your own playlist using your favorite digital music platform, such as Spotify, Pandora, or Apple Music.^{[7]
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Research source} Fill your playlist with songs that are meaningful to the relationship or that remind you of the other person. They don’t have to be traditional love songs, so get creative! When you're finished, send your playlist to your love.
- You could also burn your playlist to a CD if you want to go old school.
3
Surprise your partner with gifts you chose just for them. Show your partner that you care by putting a lot of thought into your gifts. Choose gifts that fit your partner’s interests rather than generic gifts you might give anyone.^{[8]
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Research source} Try these gift suggestions:
- Gifts for a music lover: concert tickets, a CD or digital music gift card, or a record player with a few records.
- Gifts for a sports fan: tickets to a game, a signed ball, or a cap or jersey.
- Gifts for a food lover: a cookbook or cooking magazine, a gift card to a new restaurant, a fancy bottle of wine paired with delicious cheese, or special cooking supplies.
- Gifts for a fashion lover: a gift card to their favorite store, a new outfit, a new pair of shoes, or fashionable accessories.
- Gifts for a book lover: an e-reader, a personalized bookmark, a signed copy or first edition of a book, a gift card to a bookstore, tickets to a book reading, or a copy of a rare book.
- Gifts for an outdoor lover: Outdoor clothing or gear, sunglasses, binoculars, or guidebooks for an upcoming trip.
4
Give your partner a massage for an intimate experience. Get close to your partner with the power of touch. Set up a comfortable massage area on the floor or your bed. Then, apply lotion or oil to their skin so your hands slide over it easily. As you rub and knead their skin, ask your partner how they’re feeling so you can adjust your pressure and strokes to fit their preferences.^{[9]
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Research source}
- Light candles and turn off the lights so the room is dim. If your lights have a dimmer, turn down the light levels so they’re on the lowest setting.
- Turn on romantic or relaxing music to make the experience even more sensual.
5
Make a photo album of your favorite times together. Print out your favorite photos of you two together and make a small photo album for your loved one. You can even write funny captions for the photos in the album to make the gift more silly and meaningful. This will give them a physical reminder about how much you mean to each other.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
University of Rochester Medical Center
Leading academic medical center in the U.S. focused on clinical care and research
Go to source}
- As another option, upload your photos to a website that creates memory books. Choose a template that reminds you of your partner, then arrange your photos on the pages using their digital layout. Mail a hardcopy of the book to your love for a special surprise!

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Arranging Romantic Dates

1
Surprise your partner with dates tailored to their interests. While any date can be romantic, plan something extra special by incorporating your love’s favorite things. Take the lead sometimes and set up the date by yourself so it’s extra special for them.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.} By surprising them, you keep the mystery alive in your relationship, which keeps it feeling new and exciting.^{[12]
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Research source} Here are some ideas you might try:
- Go to a concert at a local coffee house, park, or performance hall.
- Play a romantic playlist and serve your partner a homemade meal.
- Take a ceramics or painting class together.
- Walk along the beach, then share a snow cone, picnic, or glass of wine.
- Go for a nature hike or bike ride. Eat an outdoor picnic in a lovely spot.
- Take a boat ride.
- Go horseback riding.
- Spend a night stargazing on a blanket. Bring a small telescope for the occasion.
- Recreate your first date.
- Celebrate Valentine’s Day on a random day.
2
Try new things together so you grow together. Write a list of things both you and your partner want to try together, kind of like a relationship bucket list. Pick something from your list for a special date night weekly or monthly, depending on what works best for you. Doing new things together will get keep the romance alive in your relationship and helps you develop shared experiences.^{[13]
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Research source} Here are some ideas:
- Sample new restaurants or types of cuisine.
- Take a class to learn a new skill, like cooking, painting, or pottery.
- Go ziplining.
- Bicycle around your hometown.
- Hike or drive up a mountain and check out the view.
- Go kayaking.
- Tour a city you’ve never visited before.
3
Play together to infuse some fun into your relationship. Keep your relationship exciting by acting like kids again. Life can be stressful, and your daily routine can get boring. Spice it up with a game or hobby. Don’t think — just be silly together.^{[14]
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Research source}
- Challenge your partner to a board game, snowball fight, or one-on-one tennis or basketball match.
- Color in an adult coloring book or make a painting.
- Build something out of legos.
- Build a blanket fort.
- Go on a scavenger hunt.
- Chase each other with water guns or water balloons.
4
Do activities that raise your adrenaline to increase arousal. Get your heart pumping by doing exhilarating activities. Adrenaline boosts arousal and makes you feel giddy. When you do these activities with a lover, those feelings are transferred to your partner, which is super romantic.^{[15]
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Research source} Try something like these suggestions:
- Take a hike.
- Take a dance class, like ballroom dancing or salsa.
- Go ice skating.
- Go rock climbing.
- Ride a roller coaster.
- Go bungee jumping.
- Go skydiving.
5
Whisk your partner off on a romantic getaway. Spend a special weekend together on a couple’s trip to deepen your connection. Pick a place close by or switch homes with a friend for a budget-friendly option. If you can afford it, visit a winery, ski lodge, or beach town with your love.^{[16]
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Research source}
- Go on a beach getaway if you both enjoy the sun and sandy beaches.
- Snuggle up in a ski resort if you want to enjoy hot drinks in front of a fire.
- Go on a scenic getaway to the mountains or forest if you’re into nature.
- Spend a weekend at a winery if you enjoy wine.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Keeping Your Relationship Strong

1
Say “I love you” every day so you don't lose the spark between you. Give your partner constant reminders that you love and value them by telling them how you feel. Express your love every morning and night as a starting point. Try to build a habit of just saying “I love you” at random moments.^{[17]
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Research source}
- You might randomly text your partner, “I love you!” during the day.
- Don’t assume that your partner knows you love them.
2
Schedule weekly date nights to keep things interesting. Pretend you’re still in the beginning of your relationship so you don’t lose the thrill of falling in love. It’s really normal to fall into a rut when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. Fortunately, regular date nights can keep your spark alive.^{[18]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- For instance, you might designate every Saturday night as “date night.”
- If going out is too hard, have your date night at home. Prepare a special candlelight dinner, share a bottle of wine on your porch or in your candlelit bedroom, do a movie night, or play a board game.
3
Be spontaneous so your relationship still feels exciting. Let go of your schedules and responsibilities sometimes and just go with the flow. Spontaneity feels exhilarating, so it can make your relationship feel special. Don’t worry about planning ahead — just go with your gut.^{[19]
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Research source} Here are some things you might try:
- Go out on a date night in the middle of the week.
- Play hooky from work and do something fun together.
- Pop champagne for no reason.
- Film yourself being intimate.
- Surprise your partner with flowers or a treat at their workplace.
4
Spice things up in your bedroom. Keep your physical relationship hot by sharing your desires with each other and experimenting in the bedroom. Try role-playing, explore a kink, or get into a new position. Make a list of things you want to try together and enjoy checking each item off one-by-one.^{[20]
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Research source}
- If intimacy is falling by the wayside, try scheduling sex into your week so you don’t forget. It’ll give you both something to look forward to.
- Only try things that both of you are interested in doing. It’s important to respect each other’s boundaries.

How to Find Romantic Assistance

Sample Gift Ideas

Sample Date Ideas

Sample Couples Vouchers

Community Q&A

Question

Can I kiss my boyfriend?

Community Answer

It's perfectly fine to kiss your boyfriend if you feel ready. Make sure he's okay with it too. It's always best to talk about these things before trying anything.
Question

How can I get over the fear of rejection in relationships?

Community Answer

Honest answer, there is no simple way. Sometimes you need to let yourself be vulnerable to have the best relationships, no matter how hard that is. And remember, if someone rejects you, it does not mean you are less pretty or smart or lovable. It means they are not right for you and they just discovered it first.
Question

How can I be a really cool person?

Community Answer

To be "cool" you must be confident in yourself. Do not be afraid to talk to people, and laugh off embarrassments. Be nice to everyone and you will be looked up to and well liked.

Warnings

Respect the wishes of the person you’re trying to romance. If they ask you to stop doing something, give them some space.

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