How to Be a Popular Guy

Co-authored by Leslie Bosch, PhD and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: October 13, 2022 Approved

Popularity for guys and for girls are two different things. Guys have it different than girls because of the different ways the two sexes look at things.

Steps

1
Do a self evaluation. Write down the things you like about yourself, the things you would like to change, and the things that you don't like about yourself but can't change.
- Know what you like about yourself, and don't forget it. The road to popularity can sometimes be hard. In order to keep yourself happy you need to remember these things.
- The things you don't like about yourself, change them. If you don't like that you are fat, then lose some weight, but only do it if you want to. Not all popular people have rock hard bodies.
- The most important things of all are the things you don't like about yourself that you can't change. If you realize that there are things about yourself that you can't change, and you're okay with that, it will boost your self esteem and overall make you a better person that people will want to be around and feed off that energy.
2
Work out. If you look physically strong, girls will be attracted to you and you'll look a bit intimidating.

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3
Stay clean. Shower every day, brush your teeth, and wash your face to help prevent acne. Consult a dermatologist if you have serious acne problems.
4
Walk with pride. Don't slouch, but know how to relax when it's appropriate. Look people in the eye when you speak to them, and show off your pearly whites when you smile; it's a lot more attractive than looking somber and emo. Self-confidence is really important, because that is the thing that sets your body posture. A lot of people who don't have much self-confidence usually slouch.
5
Talk to people. Interest yourself in what others do, and who they are. They will then pay you this same respect. Try not to talk about yourself all the time and obsess over your special interests. People like someone listening to them.
6
Become part of a group.
- Start slow and work your way up. Know the group you want to hang out with. If you want to be in a "popular" group, figure out who that group is. Study the group, and decide if it's what you really want.
- Pick one person from the clique/group you want to join, preferably someone you see a lot (i.e. having classes with them, do after school sports with, or live close to). Start talking to to this person, learn more about him, and he will slowly start to become your friend. Don't throw yourself at this person or they will be weirded out. As you become more of a friend to this person, you will learn more about the group, and how the people act. As you work your way through time, he will introduce you to some of his friends, and soon, you may just become part of the group.
7
Consider what you're wearing. It's not really true that the clothes make the man, but looking nice can't hurt. Take a look at current trends, but wear what makes you feel good and confident.
8
Laugh at others' jokes. As time goes on, you will feel comfortable enough to be funny, and others will laugh at your jokes.
9
Make money. While money can't buy you popularity, it can be useful. Want to buy an iPod? Buy it with your own money to make it look good.
10
Get involved in a sport or extracurricular activity, such as soccer, basketball or baseball. This is apparently the most important step because it will definitely help you to meet people with the same interests as yours.
11
Know what works best for you. While some guys might look good with slightly longer hair with highlights, some look better with spikes. Having a friend who's a girl (or a girlfriend) is very helpful in this case. Most of the time people say do what feels right for yourself, but if you want to be popular you have to start listening to other people's ideas. Just don't go too far.
12
Act positively and don't go trying to impress people. Be comfortable in your own skin. Even though you might not seem to be a positive guy, act like one. Don't gossip about things, don't participate in an inappropriate activity, and try to stay normal. The reason why most guys try to impress people and end up pissed off is because people would think that this dude is acting like a maniac. It's okay to start a joke or prank once in a while, but don't try it too many times. People will think you are hyper and weird. They'll also think that you are some insane and tacky person.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I become popular?

Leslie Bosch, PhD
Developmental Psychologist
Dr. Leslie Bosch is a Developmental Psychologist, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and Owner of Bosch Integrative Wellness. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in providing stress relief coaching services to individuals and groups using a variety of scientifically proven methods for change including motivational interviewing, positive psychology, self-compassion, non-violent communication, social learning theory, and self-determination theory. Dr. Bosch received training from the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona and earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from The University of Arizona. She is also a member of the National Board of Health and Wellness Coaching Association. Dr. Bosch has published many papers and been featured in the media numerous times.

Leslie Bosch, PhD

Developmental Psychologist

Expert Answer

I honestly think that the best thing to do is to try and be really confident in yourself. Have things that you love to do and gravitate towards people that like to do what you like to do. This way, I'll most certainly be more comfortable in your skin and will be surrounded by people that like you.
Question

How do I be popular when people don't like to talk to me?

Community Answer

Try to figure out why people don't like to talk to you. If you have a few close friends, ask them about this, they may be able to offer an outside perspective. Be friendly with everyone. Ask people how they're doing and other questions about themselves. Get involved with school activities or a sports team and try to make friends there.
Question

Do girls like honest and quiet boys?

Community Answer

Not all girls are the same, some girls might like quiet boys, while others might like more outgoing boys. Just about all girls appreciate honesty, though!

Warnings

Do not make your problems public. Talk them out with a few good or close friends.

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Always think before you speak.

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Do not make a lot of enemies.

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Being associated with a lot of people may get you involved in things you may not want to be involved in.

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Do not suck up too much! Because then people will think you have an ulterior motive.

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