How to Be a Quaker

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: January 7, 2023 References Approved

Quakers are spiritual people who actively seek a connection with the Divine as modeled by Jesus. The official name of the denomination is "The Religious Society of Friends”. They are also known informally as Quakers or Friends. The religious movement began in England in the 1650s. To become a Quaker, one needs to worship with a Quaker meeting and participate in its community life and decisions. It also helps to understand the origin of the Quaker movement and live into the experiences and actions that are important to Quakers.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Learning About The Quaker Faith

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Do your research. Read blogs, articles, & books and watch videos on Quakers. Quakers have values such as resolving conflicts by peaceful means, being truthful at all times, upholding justice and equality for everyone, and treating everyone with respect.
2
There are two kinds of Quakers in the U.S.: unprogrammed Friends, whose worship is based in silence that is only broken when someone is given a message to share by the Spirit; and programmed Friends, whose pastor plans the worship service with a sermon, hymns, readings, and a period of silent worship.^{[1]
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Research source} Programmed Quakers are Christian and are part of either Friends United Meeting or Evangelical Friends International. They call a local congregation a meeting or a church. Unprogrammed Quakers in North America are a mixture of Christians, people who do not identify with one group or another, and some non-theists. Most are part of Friends General Conference. They call a local congregation a meeting.

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3
Understand how Quakers view God. The core experiences of Quakers are direct encounters with God, also called the Divine, Light Within, Christ, Spirit, Seed, higher power, and Inward Teacher. ^{[2]
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Research source} Quakers believe that all human beings should have a relationship with God, and there is a “little of God in everyone”. Recognize the differences between Quakerism and other Christian denominations.
4
Ask questions. Begin by asking yourself why you are interested in Quakerism. Take a look at your own morals and values. Do they fit with Quakerism? ^{[3]
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Find a Quaker meeting or church close to you. For North America, there is a listing of Quaker meetings and churches at fwccamericas.org/visitation/find-friends.aspx. You can also search for QuakerFinder, which lists mostly unprogrammed meetings in North America. For other parts of the world, go to https://fwcc.world/.
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Participate in the worship. Try more than one, if available. Quaker worship is designed to let God teach and transform the worshipers.
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Talk to the members of the meeting or church. Ask them to share their experiences about being a Quaker with you. What has been the most rewarding part of being a Quaker for them?
8
Attend worship services regularly. In an unprogrammed meeting, join in silent waiting during the Quaker worship service by sitting in silence with the group. Expect that one or more people will feel moved by the Spirit to break the silence and share what has been placed on their hearts, though this does not always happen.
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If the meeting allows it, attend business meetings to learn how Quakers make group decisions based on the inspiration of the Spirit. These community gatherings are usually held once a month.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Joining a Quaker Meeting

Once you have become part of a Quaker meeting or church, it may be time to become a member.

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Write a letter to the clerk of the meeting expressing your interest in joining. State in your letter why you would like to be a member. You will be asked to share your spiritual journey with a "clearness committee." This is also a time for you to ask questions. The clearness committee will make a recommendation to business meeting whether or not you are ready to become a member.^{[4]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Becoming An Active Quaker

1
Get involved in the Quaker meeting. Participate regularly in worship and business meetings. Talk to the Nominating Committee about serving on a committee.
2
Make time for prayer and contemplation in your life. Find a quiet place to open yourself to God, also known as the Divine, Light Within, Christ, Spirit, Seed, or Inward Teacher. Listen and pay attention to anything that comes to you. Tell others in the meeting about it and ask if they think you have heard right. ^{[5]
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- Tip: If you have difficulty starting a conversation with God during prayer, you can use set prayers or images or recite a passage from the Bible or other spiritual writings to help.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Mastering The Quaker Way of Life

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Learn what it feels like to receive a nudge from the Divine, and be ready to act on it. If you are at all in doubt that the action is being prompted by the Divine, ask the meeting for a clearness committee to help you discern where the impulse comes from.
2
Be loving to others. Practice making others feel valued and respected. This means giving support and prayers to anyone who is sick, struggling spiritually, or adjusting to major life changes such as the loss of a loved one, a new move, or a new career venture. Be patient with others. Always be truthful, and refrain from judging others when you do not know their situation.
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Make God-centered decisions. Seek God's input in your daily decision-making. Focus on living a life that God and the Quaker community would be pleased with. Pray and meditate before making a life-altering decision, such as when to get married, or whether or not to change careers or relocate. Keep the community up-to-speed with both your personal desires and struggles as well as anything you feel God has shared with you.

Community Q&A

Question

Do they live without electricity? If so, then how do they cook, do laundry, heat their homes, etc?

Community Answer

Quakers are not anti-electricity. I'm sure some are compelled to live without electricity or with as little as possible, but not having or not using electricity is not a requirement of Quakerism.
Question

What is the dress code for women?

Seth Boeh

Community Answer

There is no strict way for women to dress, but it is advised that both genders dress modestly and politely. However, how that applies to you and your gender is up to your own interpretation.
Question

I had family who were Quakers. Can I find more information about them through the church?

Vlatovlaska

Community Answer

Quakers usually keep good records, including names and information on their members, and many of those have been preserved. You'll need to check genealogy sites and archives, however, rather than Quakers directly.