How to Be a Tomboy

Last Updated: September 30, 2022 References

If you’re someone who identifies as a girl but enjoys activities and clothes typically meant for boys, you (and others) may think of yourself as a “tomboy.”^{[1]
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Research source} There isn't one right way to be a tomboy, since everyone is unique. However, if you find yourself spending more time with boys or preferring their activities, dressing the part and exploring new interests will help you find friends who accept you just the way you are.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Dressing Like a Tomboy

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Wear loose-fitting t-shirts.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Natalie Tincher
Style Strategist & Wardrobe Specialist
Expert Interview. 13 August 2020.} Go for solid prints and straight cuts. You can either wear wide T-shirts with your favorite band’s logo or other print, or a collared button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Whichever style of shirt you choose, try it on before you buy it to make sure it’s comfortable.
- Choose shirts in neutral colors, like black, navy blue, brown, red, and green.^{[3]
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  Natalie Tincher
  Style Strategist & Wardrobe Specialist
  Expert Interview. 13 August 2020.} Camo is also a great way to make yourself look tougher.^{[4]
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- You can also pair a neutral bottom with a colored top, or the other way around.
- Some tomboys prefer to shop in the boys' or men's section of the store, but you can wear women’s clothes and still be a tomboy. Keep your clothes loose and sporty.^{[5]
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2
Look for pants with pockets, a straight cut on the legs, and belt loops. Women’s pants tend to have a curve at the hips and taper down towards the ankle to create a slimming shape. They can also be very tightly fitted and have “fake" pockets. Instead, go for “chinos” (trousers made of a material called “twill”). Jeans are also a good option.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Natalie Tincher
Style Strategist & Wardrobe Specialist
Expert Interview. 13 August 2020.} You can also wear loose sweatpants if you’re feeling really casual.
- Roll up the cuffs of your pants to shorten them if they’re too long and show off your cool shoes. It can also help your legs look stockier, if that’s the look you’re going for.
- When the weather warms up, wear board or cargo shorts. Don’t be afraid of patterns and colors, but make sure they suit your personal style!
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3
Skip the ballet flats, strappy sandals, and high heels. Wear slip-on or lace-up sneakers, boots, or formal men’s shoes, like oxfords.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Natalie Tincher
Style Strategist & Wardrobe Specialist
Expert Interview. 13 August 2020.} Solid colors or gender-neutral prints, such as a checkerboard pattern or stripes, will help make your look more masculine. Avoid stereotypically feminine features like flowers and glitter. You can also skip the socks if you want!
- TomboyToes.com makes formal and semi-formal men’s shoes in smaller sizes, so check out their website if you prefer wingtips and boots.^{[8]
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Accessorize with cufflinks, neckties, and hats. Cufflinks and ties are great ways to make your look more tomboyish if you like to wear button-up shirts. Get ones that represent your favorite TV shows, animals, or movies to add more of your personality to the look.^{[9]
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Research source} Wear a beanie or dark, flat-brim hat to add a personal touch.
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Wear a simple hairstyle. You might want to cut your hair into a short, shaggy style or get a buzz cut. If you want to keep it longer, try wearing it in a simple ponytail or bun. Avoid elaborate hairstyles involving braids, decorative hair clips, and lots of hair products. Keep your look simple and straightforward, and always go to a professional stylist for major hair changes.^{[10]
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Avoid wearing lots of makeup or nail polish. It’s okay to put on a little concealer to cover blemishes or fill in your eyebrows if they’re patchy or wear lip balm, but the tomboy look is all about natural simplicity.^{[11]
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Research source} Go to the makeup counter at the store and ask for help with matching your makeup to your skin tone or hair color.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Finding Tomboy Interests

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Try new sports. You don’t have to be an athlete to be a tomboy! If you’ve never played any sports before, try a game like soccer or kickball first.^{[12]
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Research source} Once you’re more comfortable on the field, American football and Ultimate Frisbee are fun team sports.
- Look for sports clubs in your town on Meetup.com, or ask your friends and neighbors where they play their sports.
- You can also go to recreation centers to find out about their intramural sports leagues.
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Play video games. Video games are thought of as a fairly common male interest, but they can be fun for anyone! If you’ve never played before, ask your friends who play what their favorite games are. If you already play games, join online forums to discuss your favorite video game.^{[13]
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Research source} If you need to buy a console, ask the employee at the electronics store what they would recommend.
- Great games to start off with are MarioKart and Minecraft. Classic arcade games like Galaga and Frogger are fun, too!
- Once you get more comfortable with gaming, The Legend of Zelda series, the Final Fantasy series, League of Legends, and the Dark Souls games are interesting and challenging.^{[14]
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  Research source} There are so many different games out there, so head to a used game shop to pick up affordable titles.
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Spend more time outdoors. Try hiking, camping, or climbing to cultivate a more rugged persona.^{[15]
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Research source} You may also find that you like fishing, shooting guns at the range, or hunting. Learn how to safely do these hobbies before jumping into them by taking classes or training with a relative who has a lot of experience.
4
Develop a tomboy sense of humor. You might want to learn how to “dish it out,” or poke fun at people. Make sure you can “take it” (laugh at yourself) as much as you can dish it out, and don’t be excessively mean with your jokes.
- Of course, you don’t have to laugh at things you don’t find funny. Ignore jokes that are insulting to people of a certain gender, race, religion, or other identity.^{[16]
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- Avoid potential drama by not participating in gossip.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making Friends as a Tomboy

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Go to events with activities you enjoy. Go to sports games (or sports bars if you’re an adult), outdoor events like fishing and ski trips, car shows, and game releases at video game stores. If you see someone you want to be friends with, go over to them and talk to them about the event.^{[17]
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- Don’t go to events for things that you aren’t interested in. If you don’t like cars, don’t go to a car show and pretend to be into it. It will be hard to find something to talk about!
2
Develop your own way of speaking. It will be easier to make friends with guys or other tomboys if you talk more like them, but you don’t have to copy what they say. Treat the people you’re talking to like you’re already one of them; call them nicknames that they already use for each other, and talk about your common interests.^{[18]
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Keep a calm and confident attitude. Don’t get upset over things like getting dirty or doing badly in a game. Instead, keep your interactions friendly and casual, and don’t be afraid to make your opinion known.^{[19]
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- If you are being treated badly, it’s okay to confront the person who’s being mean. You may try “fighting fire with fire” to stop bullying, but don’t be excessively cruel or you’ll lose friends.
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Be honest about who you are. It’s okay to be a shy tomboy; you don’t have to be extroverted to make good friends. If you don’t want to do what everyone else is doing, you don’t have to!
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Surround yourself with people who celebrate you for you. Good friends are honest with you and support you in times of need. If someone is causing you more pain than happiness, it’s okay to say, “Hey, I don’t think we should be friends anymore.” You know what’s best for you, so surround yourself with people who support and respect you.^{[20]
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Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I dress like a tomboy?

Natalie Tincher
wikiHow Expert
Natalie Tincher is the Owner and Principal Style Strategist of BU Style. With more than 10 years of experience, Natalie specializes in personal styling to reflect clients’ individuality, confidence, and comfort. In 2019, she was named the Global Head of Styling for Bloomberg Television. Natalie is certified in Image Consulting through the Fashion Institute of Technology. She regularly shares her expertise with corporate groups at major financial institutions, media companies, and news outlets including: Time Out New York, Refinery 29, and NBC News.

Natalie Tincher

wikiHow Expert

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

For a casual outfit, I recommend something simple like jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. If you want to dress up you could wear a button-down with a blazer, chino pants, and oxford shoes.
Question

Will I still be able to have a boyfriend even if I'm a tomboy?

Community Answer

Certainly. Everyone has different preferences, but there are people out there who like the tomboy look and attitude. The most important part is to find someone who appreciates you and respects you just the way you are.
Question

If I don't like sports, can I still be a tomboy?

Community Answer

Of course! People of all gender identities and expressions can choose what they want to spend their time doing, even if it's different from what other people with that identity do. If you don't want to play sports, you don't have to.

Warnings

Some people might make fun of you for being different. Try your best to ignore them, and stick with the people who accept you.

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Always tell a counselor, teacher, or parent if you are feeling unsafe.

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