How to Break a Soul Tie with an Ex

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan and Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: November 16, 2022 References

Forming soul ties to significant others is all too common—and if you still feel bound to your ex, cutting those connections might be your best way to move on. Soul ties are deep emotional bonds that make you feel like someone else is anchored to your soul. It might seem challenging to cut a bond like that, but we're here to help. Read on for a complete guide to breaking a soul tie with an ex.

1

Acknowledge the soul tie.

You can only break a soul tie if you’re aware of it first. Even if you want to move on from your ex, sometimes your heart will hang onto the broken relationship. Understand that only you can break the soul tie, and you must fully commit to doing so—even though it may be painful.
- To acknowledge the soul tie, look for signs that you have one. This includes feeling like you’ve known someone forever, or like your emotions are tied to theirs. You might also feel like meeting them was fate, and think about them constantly.^{[1]
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- After a relationship ends, you’ll still feel connected to this person if you have a soul tie. It’ll be difficult to forget details of the relationship, and you may even dream about them.
- If you tend to have a hard time letting go, this step is critical to eventually breaking the soul tie between you and your ex.
- Keep in mind that it's normal to still have feelings for an ex, and that it's okay to love people for different reasons. Your ex was a part of your life for a long time, and you don't open your heart and close it right up again!

2

Cut off contact with your ex.

No contact makes breaking soul ties less painful—and more permanent. Resolve not to text or call them, and delete their number if you feel brave. Even if you don't delete their number, at least block it; this will prevent your ex from calling or texting you out of the blue.^{[2]
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- Sometimes, people stay friends with their ex to keep the relationship alive. Remember that until the soul tie is broken, friendship is unwise; otherwise, you might cling to your ex and be unable to let go.

3

Discard items that remind you of your ex.

To break a soul tie, make sure nothing remains of your ex in your home. Collect everything from your relationship, including your ex's gifts, belongings, and objects that hold sentimental value. Then, remove them from your living space. You can throw them out, donate them, or give them away.^{[3]
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- Some people find it cathartic to burn these items—although it should be done in a secure and controlled environment if you do this. Only burn things that are safe to dispose of, like letters and photos.
- Whatever you do, don't just store the items in a basement, attic, or closet. If they're in your house, you can still go look at them.

4

Purge your ex from your social media.

If your ex is out of sight, they'll also be out of mind. Unfriend your ex, block them, delete photos of them, and do whatever you need to do to get them off your social media accounts. It'll be easier to let your ex go and sever the soul tie if you can't see pictures of your ex, read posts about what they're up to, or get messages from them.^{[4]
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- Remember that you aren't obligated to be friends with your ex—especially if you're still trying to break a soul tie with them. Give yourself the space you need to heal.

5

Forgive your ex.

Let go of past wounds from the relationship to find peace. If a relationship ends badly, it's easy to get caught up in whose fault it was or hold resentment towards your ex. Reflect on the relationship, and acknowledge the negative emotions you feel. Then, choose to forgive your ex and let go of all grudges.^{[5]
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Mayo Clinic
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- Forgiveness can be difficult, but it's worth the effort. Holding onto resentment can harm your mental health and relationships with other people.
- Even if your ex hurt you, forgiving them is really an act of kindness that you do for yourself because it lets you move on with an unburdened heart.

6

Meditate on the soul tie.

This will help you clear your thoughts and focus on your task. For basic meditation, sit down in a comfortable, private place and begin by focusing on your breaths. Focus your eyes on a fixed point and try to feel how the air passes through your body and how your body moves as you take breaths.^{[6]
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- Meditation helps you slow down and pay attention to what you feel in the moment. With meditation, you can set yourself up to break the soul tie with your ex.
- Try speaking to your ex's soul as you meditate. Tell them that you've decided you won't be bound to them anymore.
- You don't have to meditate for long periods. Just five minutes a day can help you greatly!

7

Visualize cutting the soul tie.

Use your imagination so you can feel yourself letting your ex go. Close your eyes as you meditate, and picture the soul tie between you and your ex as though it's a physical rope or cord. Then, imagine cutting that cord. You can even pantomime cutting a cord if it helps the gesture to feel real and permanent.^{[7]
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- Revisit this visual days or weeks later. Is the cord reforming, or is it still cut? Keep going through the motions of cutting the bond between you and your ex until it’s gone for good.

8

Pray for guidance and strength.

If you're religious, this may empower you to break the soul tie. Offer a sincere prayer as you mentally cut ties with your ex. That spiritual declaration can help you feel like you have fully and decisively removed your ex from the picture. And on days where breaking a soul tie feels impossible, saying a prayer will keep you grounded and determined to move forward.^{[8]
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- If you're spiritual but not religious, you could instead pray to a spirit guide for assistance.

9

Write your ex a letter.

This will help you vent all of your feelings about your ex and let them go. Explain why you've chosen to forgive your ex, and tell them that you're letting them go once and for all. Put all of your thoughts about the relationship into this letter, so you can release every bottled-up emotion from your body.^{[9]
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Harvard Business Review
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- You don't have to send this letter to your ex. The simple act of writing the letter to release your emotions and break the soul tie is enough.
- Sometimes, breaking a soul tie takes time. If one letter isn't enough, keep a journal of your thoughts instead, and release your negative emotions on paper over time.

10

Build up your self-esteem.

After a relationship with a soul tie, your confidence may be bruised. When they're strong and healthy, soul ties can make you feel great about yourself—so it's natural to feel unsure and discouraged when a soul tie is broken. Work on building your self-esteem by using positive affirmations, recognizing your strengths, and cutting out negative self-talk.^{[10]
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- It's easy to feel like a soul tie made you complete, but that's not true; you are complete, and you always were. Building self-esteem lets you finally let go of the past and look to the future!

11

Talk to a professional.

Spiritual advisors or psychologists can help you cut soul ties. Pick a professional with lots of experience helping people recover from past relationships. They can provide you with advice and support as you work to break the connection with your ex. They can also empower you to keep moving forward and help to feel less alone throughout the process.
- You can also make an appointment with a mental health professional to help you work through your breakup and deal with your feelings of loss.^{[11]
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