This article was co-authored by Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of Transcendent Self, PLLC, a group therapy practice offering affirmative, collaborative, and intentional care, based in Brooklyn, New York. With over ten years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in working with adults from the LGBTQIA+ community and creative industries through individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and costume therapy. She holds a BA in Psychology, Art History, and French Language and Literature from George Washington University and an MA and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from Columbia University. Dr. Berasi also holds a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University.
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You've decided to change your name, but you aren't sure what to change it to. Pick a name that you love, and pick a name that feels right. Think about how you want to represent yourself, and try to find a name that speaks to those qualities. You can find inspiration almost anywhere, so start exploring!
Steps
Finding Inspiration
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1Find a name that represents your personality. A name is a powerful thing, and it can say a lot about you. Think about the connotations of each name, and imagine the kind of person that you associate with that name. Consider how you want to represent yourself. You can find inspiration anywhere you look, but ultimately, your choice will come down to something that feels right―something that fits.
- If you want your name to blend in, choose something common and classic, like Joseph, William, Mary, or Elizabeth.
- If you want your name to stand out, choose something less traditional.[1]
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2Look through a baby name book or website. Write down any names that appeal to you. Peruse a list of thousands of possible names, and wait for something to stand out. If you care about the meaning and etymology of your name, make sure to read the origin of each name.Advertisement
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3Name yourself after something you find beautiful or symbolic. This word need not even be a traditional human name; it just needs to be something that you feel represents you on a deep, existential level. Bear in mind that a unique name may draw attention to you.
- Choose a color that you've always liked, such as Rose, Indigo, Scarlett, or Emerald. Don't be afraid to choose something that isn't traditionally used as a person name, like Blue, Topaz, Cinnabar, or Vermilion.
- Draw inspiration from a plant. Choose a flower for your name, like Lily, Daisy, Belladonna, or Aster.[2] Use an herb or spice, like Sage, Pepper, or Basil. Try using a tree, like Magnolia, Aspen, Willow, Ivy, Peach, Juniper, or Pippin.
- Borrow your name from a piece of the world that speaks to you, like River, Mountain, Cloud, Rain, Autumn, Blossom, Boulder, Moonshine, Dawn, Ravine, Fog, or Flight. Name yourself after an animal (Bear, Fox, or Badger) or a place (London, Kili, or Sequoia).[3]
- Adopt a word or idea that you find particularly lovely, like Morning, Serenity, Cellar, Yonder. August, Aura, Apricot, or Joy. Follow your heart. You can name yourself anything!
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4Borrow the name of a fictional character. This can range from the nontraditional (Bilbo, Brock, or Huck) to the fairly inauspicious (Cedric or Samwise). Pick a character that you aspire to be like, or just pick a name that you appreciate. Bear in mind that if your name is obviously derived from a character in a story, people may call attention to the connection, and they may compare you to that character. Consider whether this is an association that you want people to make.
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5Choose an old name. Walk around a cemetery reading the headstones; flip through history books and ancient records; choose a name held by one of your ancestors. You can give a unique flavor to your moniker by picking up a name that doesn't get used anymore. like Gertrude, Beatrice, Cornelius, or Rutherford. This is a way to pay homage to the past and choose a traditional human name that is still unique.
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6Name yourself after someone inspiring. Think about personal heroes, illustrious family members, or famous historical figures. Be aware that when you borrow someone else's name, you permanently associate yourself with that person's deeds, words, and personality. Ask yourself whether you want to pay homage to another person in this way. Think about how this decision will affect your self-identity.
- Consider changing your name to that of a family member who did something brave or good. This can get confusing if they're still alive, so you may want to talk to them about it first.[4]
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7Consider alternative spellings and names similar to your own. This is a way to make your name feel more unique (or more "you") without making a dramatic shift. For example, the name Mackenzie could also be spelled McKenzi or Makenzee. You may want to pick something unique and creative instead of the typical spellings. If you have a more traditional name, like Elizabeth, you might change your name to Bethany if you really like being called Beth.
Choosing a Name for a Gender Identity
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1Try out a gender-neutral nickname. This is an easy way to shape your identity without legally changing your name. Whether you identify as Alexander or Alexandra, you can call yourself Alex. Samuel and Samantha can be called Sam. Jordan can easily become Jordy or Jordi. If nothing else, this can be a solid interim step while you think about a more permanent name change.
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2Use the feminine or masculine form of your birth name. It is easy to make your birth name sound a bit more masculine or feminine by changing around a few letters. This is a simple way to transmute your name without choosing something completely new. Try building off of the first syllable: David to Dana, Zachary to Zandra, or Ronald to Robin.
- Visit http://www.namenerds.com/uucn/advice/family.html and scroll down to either the "Girls' Names into Boys' Names" heading or the "Boys' Names into Girls' Names" heading. If your original name is on the list, check for any common masculine or feminine forms.
- Examples for trans women: Paul to Paula, George to Georgia, James to Jamie, Daniel to Danielle, Michael to Michelle or Michaela/Mikayla, or Andrew to Andrea.
- Examples for trans men: Georgia to George, Nicole to Nicholas, Alexandra to Alexander, or Christine to Christopher.[5]
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3Ask your parents. You could ask them what they would have named you if you were assigned your true gender. Or you could ask them what they would name you taking your personality and gender identity into account. You could run names you've been thinking of past your parents, they've known you the longest and will know if they fit you best.
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4Choose a name that you love. Don't feel the need to cater to any rules or norms, and remember that you don't need to keep things close to what they've been. If there is a name to which you have always been particularly drawn, choose that name. You don't have to choose a name that is similar to your birth name. If your birth name is "Martin" and you are transitioning to a feminine gender, you do not have to choose "Martha" when you have always loved the name "Laura". If your birth name is "Cecilia", you do not have to choose "Cecil" if you've always liked the name "Ashton".
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5Pick a name that suits your new identity. If you are going through a gender identity change, you may feel empowered to explore parts of your personality that you were afraid to embrace before. Think about the identity that you intend to cultivate, and choose a name that fits with your vision for the new you. You may have connotations about certain names: tough, sweet, adventurous, etc. Pick a name that helps you become who you want to become.
- Name yourself after someone inspiring. If you grew up idolizing Marilyn Monroe, don't be afraid to change your name to Marilyn.
Testing a Name
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1Choose your new name carefully. Legally changing your name is a serious decision, so make sure to pick a name that you like enough to keep. Before you commit to any particular name, consider trying it on for size. Use in public, ask your loved ones, and try to imagine yourself walking through life with this particular name.
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2Introduce yourself to strangers using your new name. Try the name on, and see how it fits. The stranger can be your Starbucks barista or someone you meet in a bar―anyone who doesn't know you by your birth name. Try this: when you leave the house today, set yourself the goal of introducing yourself as [your new name] to at least one person.
- Make sure that you aren't with anyone who knows you by your birth name. At least explain what you're doing beforehand. If you bring along a friend who knows that you're choosing a new name, you may feel much more comfortable introducing yourself.
- Be mindful when introducing yourself to friends of friends, or to people who you might encounter in the course of "everyday life". If too many people know you by too many names, you may eventually find yourself at the center of a confusing or embarrassing situation.
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3Ask friends whether they can see you with this name. Simply say, "Can you see me as a Theodore?" Tell them that you want an honest, objective opinion, unclouded by their knowledge of your current name. Don't feel pressured to act on their opinions, although you may find this process a useful way to guide your decision.
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4Write your name. Write your potential new name out on a piece of paper, and see how it looks. Ask yourself whether it feels "right" to spell your name this way. Try writing it along with your last name; try scrawling out a signature. Read it aloud to yourself.
- If you're deciding between a few possible names, try writing all of them out on the same page. See which names leap out at you. Odds are, you'll be most drawn to one or two choices. It may be easier to compare your options when they're laid out before you.
Community Q&A
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QuestionMy name's Emma but I really wanna go by a different name. I was of Milan and I was using online for quite a while but I also really like Lewis. I'm German, should I pick a more traditional one?Community AnswerIt’s all up to you. If you like the name Lewis, you can use that name, but if you want to go more traditional, that’s fine too. It all depends on what you want.
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QuestionI am deciding between the names Hailey and Laura. Which one is better?Community AnswerIn my opinion, Hailey. But it depends on what you want your name to sound like, Laura seems more 'normal' and Hailey more unusual to me. Or you could also go for both. Use one as your first and one as your middle name, like Laura Hailey.
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QuestionI'm trans -- my name is Lea, and I want to change it to Levi or Lee, but I can't find a name that really fits. What should I do?Community AnswerRemember that you don't have to make it close to your real name. You could go from Lea all the way to Roger if you wanted to. Lea backwards is Ael, which is close to Earl, so you could do that, too. Or you could ask some of your friends for suggestions.
Warnings
- Take caution when choosing your name. Avoid any embarrassing initials or unintentional name associations.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
About This Article
When you're choosing a new name, stay open to inspiration from almost anywhere. For example, you could bring back an elegant older name like Beatrice, or even take the name of a fictional character you love, like Bilbo or Samwise. If you're in the middle of a gender identity or sex change, don't be afraid to explore the idea of using a gender-neutral nickname, like Alex, even if just temporarily. Once you've decided on a name you'd like to try, you can test it out by introducing yourself to a stranger with it, or by asking your friends for their thoughts on it. For more advice, like how to decide between a few possible names, read on!