This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
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It might be surprising to know that Islam has rulings about getting angry; however, it is considered one of the evil whispers (or waswas) of Shaytaan, the devil.[1] It can lead to many bad events, such as doing or saying something without realizing the consequence. There are many narrations from the Prophet (peace be upon him) explaining what should be done when one gets angry. This article will help you control your anger according to the Sunnah.
Steps
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1Make du'a. Supplication humbles us and can help us control our anger. There are many du'as for people who find themselves getting worked up easily as a result of waswas. For example:
- A-oo-dhoo bi-ka-li-maa till-laa-hit taaam-ma-ti min gha-da-bi-hee wa i-qaa-bi-hee wa shari ibaa-dih. Wa min hama-zaa-tish shayaa-teen. Wa ayy-yah dhu-roon.
- "I seek refuge in Allah's perfect words from His anger and punishment, from the evil of His slaves, and from Satan's whispers and presence."
- Laa ilaa haa il-laa an-ta subh-haa-na-ka in-nee kunn-tu minadh-dhaa li-meen.
- "There is no God but you. May You be exalted. Indeed, I was among the wrongdoers."
- Allah-huma adh-hib ghay-da qal-bee.
- "Oh Allah, remove anger from my heart."
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2Seek refuge in Allah. This is the simplest way to control your anger. Whenever you feel angry, sit down, and seek refuge in Allah from Shaytaan. In Arabic, say A'oodhu billahi minash shaytaannir rajeem. Have a drink of water, and relax; don't get tense or stressed out.
- The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "If a man gets angry and says, ‘I seek refuge with Allaah,’ [and] his anger will go away."[2]
- Sulayman ibn Sard said: "I was sitting with the Prophet (peace be upon him), and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said "I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan," what he feels (i.e., his anger) would go away."[3]
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3Keep silent. If someone says something offensive to you, don't retaliate and say something mean back. If you're having an argument, be the better person, realize that nothing good comes out of petty arguments, and keep silent. When one is angry, they often lose self-control, and may utter words they later regret.
- The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." [4]
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4Relax yourself. If you get angry, move away from the source of anger, and sit down. If you still feel angry, lie down. Try to think of positive thoughts, instead of dwelling on thoughts that make you angry. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, and try to get peace of mind. If you're standing, you may, again, out of anger, do something you regret, such as hitting someone.
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5Understand what makes you angry. It may be someone at work or at school that you find annoying or rude; instead of getting angry, kindly speak to them. Nothing good comes out of shouting at each other. It's been narrated that, "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection."[7] The cure to anger is avoiding its causes.
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6Know that those who control their anger are praised. They are given a high status and are praised in several ahadeeth. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
- "The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry."[8]
- "The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger."[9]
- "The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own shaytaan and the shaytaan of the one who made him angry."[10]
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7Realize the bad consequences of getting angry. In extreme situations, anger can lead to family breakups or someone getting seriously injured. It can be linked to mental issues or lead to health problems such as a high blood pressure or tachycardia.
Warnings
- With regards to divorce at a time of anger, the scholars say: "If you uttered the words of divorce at a moment of intense anger and without realizing it, and you could not control yourself, because of her bad words and insults etc., and you did that at a moment of intense anger and without realizing it, and she acknowledges that, or you have a witness of good character, then divorce has not taken place".⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Anger will lead to divisions within the Muslim community, so avoid anger, especially with regards to differences in opinion. Don't let these minute differences break apart the Muslim community. Imam Ahmad said, "Do not be angry with each other and do not envy each other and do not turn away from each other, and be slaves of Allah, brothers. It is not halal for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three nights."[12]⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ http://www.islamweb.net/en/article/160901/anger-is-an-ember-from-satan
- ↑ https://islamqa.info/en/answers/658/how-to-control-anger-in-islam
- ↑ https://islamqa.info/en/answers/658/how-to-control-anger-in-islam
- ↑ https://islamqa.info/en/answers/658/how-to-control-anger-in-islam
- ↑ https://islamqa.info/en/answers/658/how-to-control-anger-in-islam
- ↑ http://musliminc.com/8-amazing-anger-management-tips-from-prophet-muhammad-pbuh-and-islam-the-religion-of-peace-4272
- ↑ https://islamqa.info/en/answers/658/how-to-control-anger-in-islam
- ↑ https://islamqa.info/en/answers/658/how-to-control-anger-in-islam
- ↑ https://islamqa.info/en/answers/658/how-to-control-anger-in-islam
About This Article
Anger is a natural feeling and there are many ways to control it. Islam has prescribed certain methods of doing so; start by seeking refuge in Allah from the devil, Shaytaan. Keep silent and calm down, and, if it helps, either sit down or lie down. Understand why you're feeling this way, as well as the possible consequences if things get out of hand. Finally, recite supplications from the sunnah to help with your anger. Read on to find out more information!
