How to Deal With a Guy Who Thinks You Like Him

Co-authored by Michele Fields

Last Updated: October 28, 2022 References

If a guy you don't like thinks you do like him, you're not alone. You might feel confused, angry, or even repulsed—and that's totally normal! However, instead of driving yourself crazy trying to figure out what could make him think this, you can take some steps to set him straight without being harsh. You'll need to send him a clear message, keep your distance, and reassure yourself that you're still a good person.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Sending a Clear Message

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Talk to him about the situation. Do this in private to avoid embarrassing him. Explain that you're only interested in being friends and that you don't want to hurt his feelings. Talking to him will help him realize the truth. Don't give any hope of a romantic relationship in the future.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Michele Fields
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.}
- Say something like, “You're really sweet, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. Let's keep it platonic.”
- You could also say, "I'm really sorry, but I think you might have misinterpreted things. I only see you as a friend."^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Michele Fields
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.}
- Talk to him in person. Don't hide behind a text message or computer screen.
- Tell him yourself. Asking your friends to relay the message only will make everyone feel awkward.
2
Treat him with civility. Avoid being rude or hurtful, even if he repulses you. If you have to work with him or go to school with him, that could make things worse for you. Simply say, “Hi” when you pass each other and keep walking. Limit your facial expressions to a slight smile. If you have to talk to him for a group project, focus on the task at hand.^{[3]
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Don't flirt with him. This will totally defeat your goal of letting him know you don't like him. Don't play with your hair or make too much eye contact. These actions draw too much attention to yourself. Avoid standing or sitting too close or playfully stroking his hand. This could send the wrong message.^{[4]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Keeping Your Distance

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Don't hang out with him too often. A guy who likes you is looking for reasons to believe that you like him back. Hang out with your other friends. Find another place to sit at lunch. If you share friends with this guy, don't pay so much attention to him when you do hang out. After about 15 minutes or so, excuse yourself and say you need to be alone or be somewhere else.^{[5]
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2
Limit physical contact. Physical contact is often a form of intimacy. Limit it to a friendly handshake, a high five, or a fist bump. Don't hug him, hold hands, or dance with him. Definitely don't kiss him. Treat him the same way you treat other friends and acquaintances.^{[6]
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Limit online contact. Cut back on the “likes” you give to his posts. He might interpret too many likes as an interest in him. Retweet or share only what you think is really important. Turn off your chat function to avoid lengthy conversations.
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Ignore him, if necessary. Sometimes, guys misinterpret civility for attraction or flirtation. If this happens, avoid him to the fullest extent. Unfollow him on social media. Block his phone number. Casually turn in the opposite direction if you see him coming your way. This should give him a clear message.
- If he refuses to leave you alone, tell someone. This could be your parents, a trusted teacher or guidance counselor, a school security guard, or a police officer. Don't let him make you feel unsafe for feelings you have no control over.^{[7]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Coming to Terms with Your Feelings

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Don't show sadness in front of him. This could send him mixed messages. If you feel like you're going to cry, think of something that makes you laugh to counter the tears. If that doesn't work, make an excuse that you have to be somewhere else and walk away.^{[8]
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2
Avoid badmouthing him. It's okay to confide in your best friend, but don't tell everyone that you think he's creepy or needy. Less considerate friends might taunt him and make things awkward. If anyone mentions that he thinks you like him, say something like, “Well, he's nice and all, but I only like him as a friend.”
3
Accept that you can't be attracted to everyone. Don't worry if your friends think he's cute or sweet. If he just doesn't do it for you, that doesn't make you a bad person. You can't force yourself to like him. Celebrate this as something that makes you unique.^{[9]
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Take deep breaths. He might try to make you feel guilty for rejecting him. Deep breathing will allow you to control your guilt and not dwell so much on his behavior. Inhale slowly through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on staying calm and doing what's best for you.^{[10]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How do you deal with unwanted romantic attention?

Michele Fields
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Michele Fields is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Owner of Bon Jour Matchmaking based in Denver, Colorado. With over thirty years of experience, she specializes in helping others meet people and navigate dating and relationships. Michele has created over 300 marriages and has been featured on Denver ABC News, The Rocky Mountain News, Colorado 2 News, Denver Westworld, and The Denver Post.

Michele Fields

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Be straight with the guy. Remember that you're a grown woman and be kind when telling him that you don't think you both are a match. If he asks for a chance to develop things, know that it is possible that you may end up changing your mind. It's up to you to decide.