How to Deal With an Obsessive Mental Preoccupation

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: July 19, 2022 References Approved

Is there something you can't stop thinking about? Has it gotten under your skin? Obsessive thoughts can be very troublesome and frustrating and can be recurrent for a number of years. There are, however, a number of ways to deal with and manage an obsessive mental preoccupation.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Managing Thoughts Yourself

1
Distract yourself. Doodle, play Solitaire, listen to music, dance, watch a movie, or play video games. By engaging in these sorts of tasks, your mind will focus elsewhere and you may stop thinking about your obsession.
- Keep in mind, however, that this is a temporary way to lessen your obsessive thoughts, but it is not a long-term or meaningful solution.
2
Keep a diary. Writing down how you feel is also a healthy method to express an emotion. It's also important in keeping track of your thoughts. Whenever you have a day when you haven't thought about that something so much, note this in your diary. It reminds you that you can defeat your obsession. Make sure you note the situation that gives rise to the thought. You can put a separate heading for this in your journal so you don't forget.^{[1]
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- A diary is also a good way to get a sense of what triggers your mental preoccupation. This is important for when it comes time to deal with overcoming your obsessive thoughts.
- Keep in mind, however, that simply writing down your thoughts can encourage rumination, or that negative "broken record loop" of repeating the same thought. It's important to reflect on your thoughts by asking what caused them, what you were doing when they happened, and how you think you can make changes.
- If you find yourself ruminating in your journal, too, try to catch yourself. Instead of repeating the same thoughts, start reflecting on where they came from and why you keep circling the same idea or thought.
- Challenge negative thoughts when you catch them. If you are preoccupied with the thought that no one likes you, examine the evidence for an against this thought. Evidence "for" might be "I asked out that cute guy at the coffee shop and he said no." Evidence against might be, "I know my friends and family like me and think I'm great. Last week a stranger asked me for my number at the bus stop. I dated my last boyfriend for two years and he really cared about me."^{[2]
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3
Avoid ineffective short-term strategies. There are methods people often use to combat intrusive and obsessive thoughts that are ineffective in the long-term. Say, for example, you have a thought about strangling your pet with rope, and you are afraid that this strange thought that is popping into your head means you are a bad person. You may be tempted to engage in certain behaviors that provide you with temporary relief from the thought. These kinds of behaviors, which should be avoided because they only provide very temporary relief and won't get to the root of the problem, include:^{[3]
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- Checking. For example, checking to make sure that all your rope is locked away in the garage so that you can't act out your intrusive unwanted thought.
- Avoidance. For example, avoiding your pet entirely so you have no chance of acting out your unwanted thought.
- Seeking reassurance. For example, you might take your pet to the vet more often than necessary to make sure that it's okay and you haven't accidentally harmed it.
4
Face your fears. A strategy that works well in the long-term is something called exposure and response prevention (ERP). ERP is a method where you expose yourself to scenarios that typically bring about your obsessive thoughts while refraining from any engagement with ineffective short-term strategies such as checking or avoidance.^{[4]
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- You must first identify the triggers that bring about your obsessive thoughts. Continuing with the pet example, is it seeing your pet? Hearing your pet? Being in a certain room?
- If you find yourself having difficulty refraining from using short-term strategies such as checking or avoidance, tell yourself you will just delay using them for thirty seconds. You might find that after thirty seconds, you're willing to tell yourself you can delay another thirty seconds and so on until you are actually refraining from their usage.
5
Manage stress. Obsessive thoughts can be brought on or made worse by stress. Do your best to reduce your stress levels by trying out the following:^{[5]
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- Eat healthy foods, such as lean means, fruits, veggies, and above all, consume things in moderation and have a balanced diet.
- Get a good night's sleep. Get a sense of how many hours a night of sleep you need to feel fully rested the next day, and aim to get that amount every night.
- Seek social support and reach out to them often.
- Reduce your intake of caffeine and other stimulants, as they can cause or worsen anxiety.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs as a coping response to deal with anxiety or your obsessive thoughts. This will more often than not backfire. At the very least it won't help you solve your problems in any meaningful, long-lasting way.
- Try stress-relieving exercise, such as yoga or aerobic exercise like running.
6
Reflect on the likelihood of bad things happening. Sometimes negative thoughts arise from things that are actually really unlikely to happen. Maybe you're obsessed with the thought that the plane you're about to go on is going to crash. To combat such thinking, remind yourself about the thousands of planes that take flight and land successfully every day. This will remind you just how rare such events are.^{[6]
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- Keep in mind that you only hear in the news about planes that crash, you don't hear about planes that land successfully. This can throw off how probable you view crashes to be.
7
Practice meditation. Instead of working to avoid your obsessive thoughts, meditative techniques can emphasize embracing your thoughts. The key is to let any thoughts come to mind and to view them neutrally, without passing judgment on them. Try to observe them as if you are someone else watching you think.^{[7]
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- Another important aspect of mindfulness meditation involves paying attention to your breathing. Take a deep breath in and hold for a few seconds and then exhale over a few seconds. Gently observe your breath going in and out while remaining calm.
8
Try progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). Sometimes anxiety is fueled by the tenseness of the body. You can reduce this tension, and thereby reduce your anxiety and obsessive thoughts, by learning to relax your body. PMR involves removing the tension from one muscle group at a time. To practice PMR:^{[8]
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- As you take a deep breath in, apply tension to a specific muscle group or part of your body by flexing or tightening the area.
- As you exhale, slowly reduce the tension by reducing how hard you are squeezing/flexing the muscles. The muscles will become looser at this point if done correctly.
- Repeat the process with different muscle groups until you feel more relaxed and your obsessive thinking has subsided.
9
Schedule a set time to worry. Set aside 20 or so minutes a day where you allow yourself to be alone with your thoughts. Ruminate away and worry all you want during this period. This can work so long as you have an agreement with yourself that outside those scheduled 20 minutes, you will not worry!^{[9]
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U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems.
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- Try experimenting by changing the time of day you schedule worry-time for yourself. You may find that this technique is most effective at a particular time of day, for example, either at night or in the morning.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Getting Help

1
Seek professional help. Perhaps the most effective way of getting rid of an obsession is to talk about it with a psychologist or other mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, or licensed counselor.^{[10]
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- You can find a local psychologist using this website: http://locator.apa.org/
- You can find a local qualified mental health professional using the site: https://iocdf.org/find-help/
2
Talk to close family and friends. Sometimes a friend or a family member understands you better than a psychologist, simply because they know you so well. Keep in mind that this doesn't mean that they will necessarily be able to rid you of your obsessive thoughts better than a professional can, but it might mean that you will be more relaxed and feel better understood talking to those you are close with.
3
Acknowledge that having bizarre thoughts is normal. Studies show that most people, from time to time, have strange, bizarre, or worrisome thoughts. If you have become obsessed with a thought because you are worried it is strange or off or not indicative of your personality, keep in mind that such thoughts commonly occur in a wide range of individuals.^{[11]
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- It can help just to know that you are not alone in dealing with your problem.
4
Maintain treatment. Getting rid of obsessive thoughts is no easy task and it is important that you stick to the treatment or therapy suggested by the mental health professional that you visit.^{[12]
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Mind
U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems.
Go to source}
- Typical treatments for obsessive thoughts include: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), anxiety medication, or antidepressants.
- If you are in doubt, get a second opinion from another therapist.

Warnings

If you are considering suicide as an option to deal with your mental preoccupation, contact a suicide prevention hotline immediately, such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you're in the United States, which can be reached by calling or texting 988.

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Be on the lookout if you're excessively cleaning, extremely anxious, avoiding other places, avoiding family and friends, avoiding your colleagues and your employer, missing school or work, counting, or checking to see if something is wrong as a result of the intrusive thought, you could be suffering from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which is a mental disorder. If you are experiencing any of this, please go see a doctor or a psychiatrist for diagnosis.

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