How to Express Appreciation to a Parent

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: November 10, 2021 References

If you want to show your parents your appreciation, show gratitude for everything that they gave you. You can do this through words. Simply sit down and talk to your parents and let them know you care. You can also show your parents your gratitude. You can write a letter or a poem. You can also show your appreciation in gestures. Take your parents out for a movie or buy them a present.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Talking to Your Parent

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Find a good time to talk. If you want to let your parents know how much you care, find a good time to do so. Parents are busy, and will appreciate you not bothering them when they're busy.^{[1]
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- Think about when your parent is usually free. For example, if your mom is usually busy on Wednesday nights, don't talk then. Wait until she has some downtime on a Thursday.
- Pick a time when your parent is usually not distracted as well. While your dad may be home most Fridays, maybe he likes to watch a particular show that night. He may not pay as close attention to conversation.
2
Think about what to say. Showing appreciation can be difficult. You may not be sure exactly what to say. Your parents do so much for you, so it can be stressful to try to find a precise way to thank them for that.^{[2]
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- You can rehearse beforehand. Try to jot down what you want to say.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Try reciting your words in front of a mirror. If you practice your words a few times, you'll be more likely to remember them when the time comes to talk.
- It helps to visualize specific moments from the past that you shared together. Think of moments that were fun or when they supported you in some endeavor. These types of memories can help bring back the feelings you had at the time, which can help you to put those emotions into words.
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3
Use specifics. It can be nice to give a general "Thank you." However, you also may want to include some specifics when expressing gratitude to a parent. A parent will appreciate knowing exactly why you value them.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}^{[5]
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- For example, you may be inclined to say something to your dad like, "I appreciate all the help you give me." Try to give a more specific example of how your dad helped. For example, "I really appreciate how you helped me work through that problem with my friend Justin last week. I really like having someone to talk to when I'm having problems."
- In addition to the actions that you parents took, consider the sacrifices they had to make while you were growing up. For example, say, "I'm grateful that you worked extra shifts at work so that I could take piano lessons."
4
Share positive things with your parents. Work on opening up to your parents on a regular basis. You can verbally show appreciation by telling your parents you appreciate them directly. However, you can also show them by sharing with them. Do not just talk to your parents when something's gone wrong. Speak to them on a regular basis.^{[6]
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- Fill your parents in on the small details of your life. Let them know how a test went at school, or something funny a friend said that week.
- Your parents care about you. They want to know how you're doing and feeling. Let them in regularly as this can show you appreciate their presence in your life.
5
Say "Thank you" regularly. A simple "thank you" goes a long way to show appreciation. While gratitude certainly goes beyond manners, do not forget your manners. Make sure to thank your parents throughout your interactions when appropriate.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Always thank your dad for paying for dinner. Offer your mom a "thank you" when she gives you advice.^{[8]
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- Give back to them, as well. For example, take them to dinner, help them with yard work, or clean out the garage without being asked.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Expressing Yourself in Writing

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Write a letter. A letter can be a fun way to let someone know how much you love and appreciate them and that you care. This can be particularly helpful if you tend to get nervous with face-to-face discussions. Try writing a parent a thought out thank you letter letting them know you appreciate them.^{[9]
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- A thank-you card can be sent in direct response to something. You can, for example, send your mom a thank-you letter after she visits for the weekend. You can also send a letter for a parent's birthday, and make a point of expressing appreciation there.^{[10]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- However, don't hesitate to write a letter or send a card simply because you're feeling grateful. If you value your parents, it's important to let them know regularly. Don't hesitate to write a letter, or even an email, if you want to let your parents know you care.
2
Make your parents a card. This can be great if you're expressing appreciation for a particular occasion. If it's your mom's birthday, for example, a homemade card telling her how much you care can be a great way to show appreciation.^{[11]
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- You can get art supplies at a local craft store and let your creativity run wild. Decorate the card with designs your parent would like. If you're not artistically-inclined, you can always get a blank card at a gift shop.
- Inside the card, write a heartfelt letter expressing appreciation. Let your parents know why you appreciate them every day.
3
Write a poem. The effort you put into an original poem will really show appreciation. If you're feeling creative, try to write a poem for your parents telling them how much you value them. Remember, you don't need to be a master wordsmith to write a nice poem. Your parents will appreciate the time and care you put into writing them an original poem.^{[12]
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4
Express positive thoughts on social media. Many people use social media to vent frustration and negativity. However, try to use your Facebook or Twitter page to express positivity. Try to post happy memories of your parents online, or post a Facebook status saying exactly why you appreciate your dad.^{[13]
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- Remember, this may not be as effective if your parents don't follow you on social media.
5
Make a video. If you don't feel comfortable expressing your gratitude through writing, you could make a special video to show your appreciation instead. You could make a video of you talking, or you could edit together photos of great times you've shared. Use your creativity to come up with a unique way to show your parents how you feel.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Showing Your Appreciation

1
Treat your parents to a fun day. You don't always have to use your words to express appreciation. Sometimes, doing something nice for your parents is enough. Your parents value you, and want to spend time with you. Plan a fun day full of family activities.^{[14]
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- Take your parents to see a movie they would like.
- Plan a family picnic.
- Treat a parent to lunch.
- Go to a local attraction, like a museum, with your parents and any siblings.
- Consider making the fun day a surprise.
2
Spend time with your parents regularly. The gift of time is often all your parents need to know you appreciate them. Do not wait until something has occurred to show appreciation. Do so regularly by spending time with your parents. Try to find a little time each week to visit your parents.^{[15]
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- If you don't live near home, try to find time to call each week. A quick phone call can really show your parents you care.
3
Give your parents a present. If you're feeling grateful, try finding a present your parents would like. Presents don't have to only be given on holidays or special occasions. If you see something your mom would love at a local gift shop, don't hesitate to buy it. A surprise gift can really show that you care.^{[16]
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4
Help out around the house without being asked. Anything your parents dread doing (chore wise) make sure and do! This will take many sacrifices. If you live at home, you can show appreciation by chipping in regarding household chores. In addition to doing any chores expected of you, do a little extra now and then. For example, do the dishes when your mom has had a busy day at work. Take the trash out when you see your dad has forgotten to do so.^{[17]
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5
Cook them their favorite meal. Do it secretly, so they won't try to chime in and help you. Breakfast in bed will probably be the easiest meal. Don't wake them up though!

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I cook breakfast in bed without waking them up?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Try to move about the kitchen quietly. If you can't avoid waking them up, you may consider getting some takeout from a nearby restaurant for breakfast. You may even be able to get it delivered through a service like Door Dash or Uber Eats.
Question

Why do we need to appreciate our parents?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Why not? Just think back to all the sacrifices that they made for you in order to raise you. Everything from changing your diapers to sacrificing their sleep when you were younger. This is just the icing on the cake. Don't forget all the time and money involved in raising a child.