50+ Eye Jokes That You Should Really Look Into

A cornea-copia of jokes to catch your eye

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: January 10, 2023

Eye Puns

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Eye Jokes

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Eye Doctor Jokes

Looking for an eye-ppealing joke to lighten the mood? Luckily, there are so many eye puns and jokes that you use anytime you see an opportunity (see what we did there?). If you need some inspiration, here are 50+ eye jokes and responses that are guaranteed to make everyone laugh.

Things You Should Know

Easily make a pun by replacing the “I” in any phrase with “eye.”
Choose words that rhyme with “eye” (ex: aye, my, high, buy, or lie) to alter common expressions. For example, “eye, eye captain” or "let me eye you a drink."
Get creative and make a joke with other eye-related words like cornea or retina.

Section 1 of 3:

Eye Puns

1
How eye-ronic.
2
Oh, eye see what you did there.

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3
Eye didn’t see that coming.
4
Eye’ve heard enough.
5
Wow, eye don’t know about that.
6
That’s an eye-palling joke.
7
Omg, that joke was so cornea.
8
With that joke, eye am going to leave.
9
B-eye now!
10
Eye didn’t know you were that funny!

Section 2 of 3:

Eye Jokes

1
What do you call a deer with no eye? No-eye-deer!
2
What do you say to a pirate with two eyes? Eye-eye captain!
3
What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, there’s something that smells.
4
Why did the cellphone start wearing glasses? Because he lost all his contacts.
5
What’s an eyeball’s best pick-up line? Let me eye you a drink.
6
What advice did the eyeball give to his son? You’ve got to stay optometrist-ic!
7
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fishually impaired.
8
What did the eyeball say to his son when his son asked for help on math homework? Iris I could help you son, but eye have no idea.
9
What did the rat go to the optometrist? He was having issues with his rat-inas.
10
What did the eyeball say when he was arrested? I’ve been framed, officer.
11
What did one eye say to the other before surgery? Eye wish you the best.
12
Why did the eyeball say after eating McDonalds for the first time? Ba da ba ba ba, eye’m lovin’ it.
13
What do you call an eyeball that can fly? A real eye soar.
14
What’s an eyeball’s favorite type of bread? R-eye bread.
15
What’s an emo eyeball’s favorite band? Eye Chemical Romance.
16
What’s a baby eyeball’s favorite game? Eye-spy.
17
Why do programmers have perfect vision? They can C++.
18
What’s an eyeball’s favorite summertime drink? Eyes tea.
19
What’s an eyeball’s dream vacation? A tropical eye-land.
20
Why did the eyeball spend all of his money on Black Friday? Everything was eye one, get one free.
21
What is it called when you poke your eyes with safety goggles? Eye-rony.

Section 3 of 3:

Eye Doctor Jokes

1
What’s an optometrist’s go-to karaoke song? Eyes, eyes baby.
2
Why was the optometrist so awkward on the first date? He didn’t know how to break the eyes.
3
What do you call an optometrist obsessed with Apple products? An iDoctor.
4
What did the optometrist say to his student? You’re an eye-deal pupil.
5
Why did the eye doctor feel lonely? Because he felt eyes-olated.
6
What did the optometrist say to the judge after his testimony? Iris my case.
7
What did the optometrist say to his wife? Eye think we make a great pair.
8
What did the eye doctor say when breaking up with her boyfriend? Iris we’d never met!
9
Why was the optometrist brought to court? He was the only eyewitness.
10
What’s an optometrist’s favorite dessert? Eyes cream.
11
Why was the optometrist so smart? He had a high eye-Q.
12
Why did the optometrist divorce his wife? They couldn’t see eye to eye.
13
What’s an eye doctor’s favorite snack? Pop-cornea.
14
What’s an optometrist’s ideal date? Staying in and retina movie.
15
What’s an optometrist’s favorite landmark? The Eye-ffle Tower.
16
Why was the optometrist embarrassed after he fell? He made a huge spectacle of himself.
17
What’s an optometrist’s favorite font? Eye-talic.
18
What’s an optometrist’s favorite book? Lord of the Eyes.
19
What’s an optometrist’s favorite pick up line? Help! Something’s wrong with my eyes–I can’t take them off you.
20
Why does the optometrist always take the elevator? He hates the stares.
21
How does an optometrist punish his child? He makes him sit in the cornea.
22
What did the optometrist say when his patient complained about his jokes? That’s just how eye roll.