How to Flirt Using Body Language (Girls)

Co-authored by John Keegan and Sophia Latorre

Last Updated: November 24, 2022 References

Flirting can seem like a foreign concept, but it’s actually surprisingly easy. You want to subtly let a person know you are interested in them. The next time you see a cutie at school, the store, or anywhere else, remember to be confident, and use body language, such as eye contact and smiling to show them you’re interested. You can also angle your body toward the person, and lightly touch them on the arm while you’re chatting.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Using Facial Expressions

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Make eye contact.^{[1]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} This is an important step to let someone know you are interested in them. If you avoid looking a person directly in the eye, they will think you don’t want to be around them. You don’t need to constantly stare at the person, just make eye contact from across the room a few times, and be sure to make eye contact if you’re having a conversation.^{[2]
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- When you pass a person you like in the hallway, make eye contact and say “hey” or “how’s it going?”
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Smile.^{[3]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} A smile is the best way to flirt using body language. It doesn’t have to be an all-out grin, you can smile subtly without showing your teeth. Look the person in the eye and smile. After that, you can look away, especially if you aren’t speaking to the person, but have made eye contact from across the room.^{[4]
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- If someone in class make a joke or says something funny, smile at the person you like. This shows you have a sense of humor, and also that you want to share that sense of humor with them.
- You can also smile and wink at the person when something amusing happens, or smile at them and roll your eyes at a teacher’s lame joke.
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3
Glance over your shoulder. If you walk past someone you’re interested in, look back over your shoulder at them. Smile slightly then look away. This is an enticing movement and will catch the person’s attention.^{[5]
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Bite or lick your lower lip. Do this subtly. Gently press your teeth down on your lower lip for a second or two while maintaining eye contact with a person you are interested in. Alternately, sweep your tongue your lower lip while talking to them. This draws interest to the mouth and lets the person know you are interested.^{[6]
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- If you see a cutie at the coffee shop, catch their eye, then take a swig of your drink and then subtly lick your lips. This makes it seem natural, but also flirtatious.
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Raise your eyebrows. Raising your eyebrows shows interest. You can also lower your eyelids at the same time, giving yourself a sultry look. Practice this one a few times in the mirror if you haven’t done it before so you know what you will look like. Think Marilyn Monroe here, girls.^{[7]
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- If you catch someone’s eye while out and about, raise your eyebrows and lower your eyelids. Smile slightly, then look away.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Giving Physical Clues

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Stand or sit near the person. Getting close to a person is a sign that you are interested in them. Stand in line next to the person, or sit down next to them at lunch or in class. This will also give you a chance to talk to the person you like. Don’t get too close, as this may cause the person to back off.
- At an assembly or sporting event, find a seat near someone you like. You could even smile and flirtatiously ask “is this seat taken?” in order to start a conversation.
2
Angle your body toward the person. To show you are interested in someone, you can angle your body toward the person. You can also lean in slightly or tilt your head toward the person. Crossing your legs toward a person, rather than away from them, is also a good strategy.^{[8]
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- If someone asks you a question or makes a comment to you, lean toward them as if you can’t hear what they were saying. Don’t be too obvious, just angle yourself a tad more in their direction.
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Touch them on the arm gently.^{[9]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} When a person is talking to you, whether that may be sharing a story or telling a joke, you can lightly touch them on the arm to show you agree or understand. A quick, light touch is all you need, don’t grip them too hard, or let your hand linger too long.^{[10]
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- While having a conversation with someone you like, gently smooth their collar down or pick a piece of lint (pretend or real) off their shirt.
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Mirror the person’s movements.^{[11]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Don’t follow every move they make, but simply make subtle adjustments to your own movements. This shows the person you are on the same page, which they will appreciate.^{[12]
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- You can do something as simple as lean against the wall when they lean against the wall, or hold your drink at the same level they are holding theirs.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Creating a Flirty Vibe

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Be confident. Confidence attracts others to you. Even if you’re nervous, act like you aren’t. Posture is important, so stand, or sit, up straight rather than slumping over. Participate in an activity or conversation taking place around you rather than acting like a wallflower.
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Play with your hair. Pull your hair out of its holder and let it fall around your face. You can also toss your hair over one shoulder, or twirl a strand between your fingers. Don’t overdo it here, you’re not at a salon! Just touch or play with hair once or twice while flirting with the person.^{[13]
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Be animated. Motion attracts the eye. Standing stock-still could make the person think you are nervous or even boring. Gesture with your hands while you talk or nod and react when someone else is talking.^{[14]
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Play with your jewelry. Occasionally touch your necklace or earrings while flirting with a person. Don’t overdo it, once or twice during a conversation is enough. This draws the person’s attention to your neck in a slightly sensual way.^{[15]
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Look approachable. To look approachable, you want to have open body language. Don’t cross your arms, slump, or fidget. Crossing your arms is a gesture that tells people to stay away; it shows that you are closed off, rather than open to their advances.^{[16]
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- Try putting one hand on your hip, or one hand in your pocket as an alternative to crossing your arms.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I give a flirty look to someone I'm interested in?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try to make eye contact with them frequently. When you lock eyes, flash a smile to show them that you're interested.