Dating is all about finding that right person—the perfect match for you—and getting to know your date is just the first step. But where do you start? What questions should you ask? Don’t worry because we’ve got lots of ideas and questions on how you can get to know the person you’re dating! Keep reading to see how you can have some fun and get to know your date on a deeper level. Who knows? Maybe you’ll learn you’ve found the perfect match.

1

Ask open-ended questions.

  1. There’s no better way to get to know someone than by having a good talk! Stick to asking questions that have to be answered with something more than “yes” or “no.” The questions can be as silly or serious as you like! Try out some of these the next time you talk:[1]
    • "What are your plans for the weekend?"[2]
    • “What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?”
    • “Was there a job you always wanted when you were a kid?”
    • “What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?”
    • “If you could live anywhere in the universe, where would you live?”
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3

Learn about their interests.

  1. Dive into your date’s hobbies to get to know what makes them tick. Chances are they have hidden talents and interests that are worth exploring! Ask them what they like to do in their free time and see if you can join in on the fun. You’ll learn something new about them and possibly find a new hobby in the process.
    • Do they enjoy reading? Join their book club or start reading a book together.
    • Do they like going to the gym? Get a little competitive and pump some iron with them.
    • Do they have an interest in art? Take them to a local museum and watch as their eyes light up.
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4

Be curious about their life.

  1. Building a genuine connection can help you learn more about them. If you’re truly curious about their interests, hobbies, and even emotions, show it. Ask them further questions about something they’ve said that interests you. Making an effort to pay attention and show a curiosity in them will not only show them you care, but will also help you get to know them better.[4]
    • Ask them questions about their life like, “Did you have fun hanging out with your friends last night?” or, “How was the gym this morning?”
5

Actively listen to them.

  1. Chances are they’re telling you a lot about them and you may not even know it. With so many life distractions, it can be easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle, letting what they say go in one ear and out the other. Actively listening to your date will not only improve your communication and relationship, but will help you get to know them that much better. The next time you talk, follow these steps to be a good listener:[5]
    • 1. Paraphrase: When they’ve finished talking, restate what they’ve said using phrases like, “What I hear you saying is,” “It sounds like,” and, “If I understand you correctly.”
    • 2. Ask questions: When there’s a break in the conversation, ask them clarifying questions like, “When you say this, do you mean…?”
    • 3. Express empathy: Validate their feelings rather than negate them with expressions like, “I can sense that you’re upset,” and, “I can understand why you’re upset.”
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6

Open up about your past.

  1. Sharing parts of your past can help them open up in return. It can be hard to feel comfortable expressing yourself when first starting a relationship. Open the door for them to share by sharing something about yourself. Maybe you bring up past school experiences or an embarrassing story that’ll make them laugh. This will help you both get to know each other a bit more.
    • “I used to hate tomatoes when I was a kid. Would pick them off everything! Did you hate any food as a kid?”
    • “I was the captain of the basketball team, and we went to state my senior year. Were you part of any sports in school?”
    • “I totally hugged the wrong person in the store thinking it was my mom. I was so embarrassed! Please tell me you did something like that when you were little.”
7

Invite them to hang out with your closest friends.

  1. See if you’re compatible by bringing them into your inner circle. Your friends know you better than anyone, and chances are they’re dying to hang out with your new date! See how your date acts with your friends. Do they become the leader? Do they start cracking jokes? When we’re in groups, we tend to act differently—our attitudes possibly intensifying. Putting your date in a group will help you learn how they interact around other people.[6]
    • Spend time with their closest friends, too. Just like your best friends, their friends most likely know a whole lot about them.
    • Ask their friends questions about them and see just how they interact with those they're most comfortable with.
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9

Take turns planning dates.

  1. Learn something new about each other while doing something fun. Take each other on surprise dates where you bring each other to a favorite restaurant, hiking trail, or fitness center. Create an experience that’ll help you get to know something unique about each other all while being introduced to something new.[7]
    • Do you like painting? Plan a date around your weekly art class.
    • Are you a wine connoisseur? Schedule a romantic getaway to your favorite winery.
    • Have a love for Indian food? Take them to your favorite restaurant and create an immersive experience they’re sure to love.
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10

Go on a road trip together.

About This Article

Maria Avgitidis
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
This article was co-authored by Maria Avgitidis and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano. Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist. This article has been viewed 12,379 times.
3 votes - 67%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: January 21, 2022
Views: 12,379
Categories: Dating
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