How to Kiss Your Girlfriend in Middle School

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: April 29, 2022 References Approved

Kissing your girlfriend is a gigantic step, especially if one or both of you are kissing someone for the first time. But this doesn’t mean you have to stress out about it! If you know how to get ready to make a move and respect your girlfriend’s boundaries, you’ll be on your way to an unforgettable kiss. If you want to know how to kiss your girlfriend in middle school like a pro, just see Step 1 to be on your way.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Getting Ready to Make a Move

1
Get some privacy. Let’s face it. It may be hard to get complete privacy in middle school, but you have to do the best you can to make sure that you and your girlfriend can step away from your friends to get some time together. You could step outside during the school dance, find some solo time during a party, or even go out on a date together. Just do the best you can to make sure that there’s no chance that your friends can barge in and start making fun of you and ruin the mood.
- Avoid trying this in school for the first time. You’ve got to find a slightly more romantic location.
- This doesn’t mean you should try to kiss your girlfriend the second you’re alone together. The moment has to feel right, and privacy isn’t the only requirement for that.
2
Freshen your breath. If you’re ready to kiss your girlfriend, then your breath better be ready, too. You don’t have to make dramatic gestures and eat ten breath mints, but you should brush your teeth if you know you’re going to see your girlfriend soon. And if you’ve both just eaten a meal, just quickly chew a piece of gum. Don’t make a big deal about it or she’ll know that you’re self-conscious about kissing her.^{[1]
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- You can also put on some lip balm a few hours before to soften up your lips, but don’t use it right before you make a move or your lips won’t feel too pleasant.
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3
Make her feel special. Once you’ve got her alone, you can’t just swoop in for the kiss or it will feel a bit forced. Instead, you have to show your girlfriend that you care about her by making her feel special. Give her a compliment, like, “You look so pretty tonight,” or say something nice like, “I’ve had so much fun with you today.” You don’t have to try too hard to show her that you really do care about her. Turn off your phone, look into her eyes, and show her that she has your undivided attention.^{[2]
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- If you want to kiss your girlfriend, then she has to feel like you really like her for who she is, and that you see her as more than just a person to kiss.
4
Make sure she’s ready for a kiss. Before you kiss your girlfriend, you have to make sure that you’re on the same page. This is probably your first kiss, and it may be her first kiss, too, so you really want her to feel ready to make this move with you. Though you don’t have to think of kissing her as a huge deal, it will be something she’ll remember, so you have to see if she’s into it. See if she’s moving closer to you, looks happy to see you, looks at your lips, and self-consciously touches her face or plays with her hair. This is a sign that she’s interested in kissing you and that she may be a little nervous.^{[3]
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- If she’s always trying to pull away when you’re alone together, and moves further and further away from you, then she may not be ready to take it to the next level with you. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you, but it does mean that she’s not ready yet.
5
Make physical contact. You shouldn’t go from standing two feet apart from your girlfriend to planting a big wet one on her face, or she’ll be caught off guard. Instead, move closer to her and make some physical contact. If you’re sitting, you can sit closer to her, put your hand on her knee, or play with her hair. If you’re standing, you can also touch her hair or her face, brush a hand along her waist, or just give her some kind of physical closeness to show that you’re ready to make a move.^{[4]
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- This will also be a good time to see if she’s ready. Does she respond well to your touch, move closer to you, or even initiate some touching? If she's not comfortable with physical touch, she's probably not going to be interested in kissing, either.
6
Avoid the common kissing pitfalls. If you’re kissing your girlfriend in middle school for the first time, there are a few things you may want to avoid:
- French kissing. This is not for everybody, and most people don’t start French kissing until high school. For your first kiss, keep the tongue out of it, or your girlfriend may be unpleasantly surprised. If you come out of the gate with a French kiss, it’ll be too much, too soon.
- The roaming hands. Just because your girlfriend is ready for a kiss doesn’t mean she’s ready for you to start creeping all over her body. You can touch her in safe, PG areas to show her that you care, but you don’t want to creep her out by suddenly touching her in a place where she’s definitely not ready to be touched.
- The sneak attack kiss. Avoid just jumping in and kissing her without any indication of what’s going to happen. Though some element of surprise is nice, you don’t want your girlfriend to not know what’s going on when you make your big move.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Initiating a Kiss

1
Lean toward her until your faces are almost touching. Once you’ve made physical contact, all you have to do is move a bit closer to her until your faces are very close together. If you’re sitting, then you’ll both have to turn your bodies a bit. If you’re standing, you can put your arms around her waist and move closer to her. This should happen slowly and naturally, and you can make eye contact while you get closer.^{[5]
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- You can lightly lick your lips a bit to soften them, if you’re not too obvious about it.
2
Tilt your head slightly. You don’t want to kiss your girlfriend head on, or your noses will get in the way. You should tilt your head slightly in one direction and she should tilt her head slightly in the other. Don’t worry if you don’t get it perfect the first time, or if you both don’t tilt your heads that much. This isn’t so crucial for a regular kiss, so don’t overthink it and tilt your head too much.
3
Kiss her. Here’s your big moment! Close your eyes, then just lean forward a bit and make the connection, touching your lips to hers. Your lips won’t align perfectly, and you don’t have to worry about it. Relax your lips instead of puckering them, and just gently kiss your girlfriend’s lips. You can hold the kiss for a few seconds, or for as long as you both like.
- Try to match her throughout the kiss. You want to fit together like a puzzle, so it feels comfortable.
4
Caress her cheeks and hair. This is something you can do while you kiss your girlfriend, if you don’t think it requires too much coordination. Just lightly run your hand over her cheeks or her hair while you’re kissing her. This can be something you do during Round Two, if you go in for another kiss after the first kiss is over.^{[6]
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5
Use your hands (a little bit). While you’re kissing her, you can place your hands on her waist, her upper back, or her knee or shoulder if you’re sitting down. As long as you’re not touching her anywhere inappropriate, a little bit of touch can help the girl feel more in the moment. Don’t overwhelm her, though. If she’s not touching you except with her lips, only a bit of a light touch on your end will be enough.
6
Don’t forget to breathe. This sounds silly, but it’s important. You may be so nervous or excited about finally kissing your girlfriend that you may forget to perform one of the most basic functions of the human being. That means breathing in and out, just as you normally would, while you’re kissing her. If you only kiss for a few seconds, breathing before and after is OK too.
7
Slowly pull away. After a few seconds, you can slowly pull away, while continuing to look into your girlfriend’s eyes. Don’t instantly pull away like you’ve been scorched by a flame. Instead, look at her, smile, and gently move away. You can brush her face or hair for an extra touch.
8
End on a good note. Let’s face it. Middle school can be awkward. Kissing for the first time can be weird. But you should do the best you can to make your girl feel comfortable, and to say something like, “That was nice,” to let her know it was a special moment for you. Don’t just take her hand and walk away to join the party and pretend it never happened. It can be hard for guys to express their feelings, but just do the best you can to make the girl feel special and to let her know you had a great time.
- And hey, nobody’s stopping you from going in for that second kiss! If the first kiss went well, it’s okay to pull away and to go back for more…and more again!
- Remember—practice makes perfect when it comes to kissing!

Expert Q&A

Question

What should you not do while kissing?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Don't overpower your partner! Kisses should feel comfortable and strike a yin and yang type of balance. You don't want to be doing anything that's physically uncomfortable, like bumping into each other.