We've all been there—you go on a few dates hoping to connect with someone, only to realize that it's not going to work out. Instead of wasting your time and theirs, it's best to end things when you realize this. Fortunately, since you've only been out with them a few times, you can let them down without really hurting their feelings. Check out our suggestions for kindly ending a short relationship.

1

Act on your feelings as soon as possible.

  1. Don't wait or keep going on dates if you know it's not working out. The longer you wait to talk with the person, the harder it will be to break things off. You never know—the other person might feel the same way too! Sure, it can be awkward to have the break up conversation after only a few dates, but you'll be less emotionally invested.
    • You might know after just 1 or 2 dates that the relationship isn't going to work out. For others, it might take 3 or 4 dates to decide. Either way, talk with the other person as soon as you realize you don't want to date them.
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2

Tell them that you want to end the relationship.

  1. Meet in person or call them on the phone to break the news. There's no need to make small talk or drag out the conversation. Just let them know that you're not interested in going on more dates. You don't need to go deep into how you feel or apologize—after all, you only went on a few dates.[1] [2]
    • For example, call them and say, "Hi, so this is awkward for me, but I don't think I want to go out with you anymore. I just wanted to be honest with you and not lead you on."
    • You could say, "I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed getting to know you a little, but I'm just not feeling a spark. I hope you find someone great to spend time with!"[3]
    • Don't feel like you have to break up in person. It's one thing to end a long-term relationship on the phone, but you're probably not emotionally invested in each other after just a few dates, so a phone call is totally fine.
4

Be honest with them.

  1. You might feel bad so you start giving excuses, but don't! There's no need to apologize or tell them that you're not ready for a relationship. In fact, if you give vague reassurances, the person might think they have a chance for a relationship with you later on. It's better to be completely honest if you don't think there's a connection.[5]
    • For example, instead of saying, "I'm so sorry this isn't working out right now. I just came out of a serious relationship and I'm not ready for dating," say, "Thanks for meeting up with me the last few days, but this relationship doesn't feel like a good fit. I just wanted to be honest with you."
7

Be clear about future interactions.

8

Don't ghost the person.

  1. Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
  2. https://youtu.be/Yfhgv-lmgmY?t=562

About This Article

Maria Avgitidis
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
This article was co-authored by Maria Avgitidis and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson. Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist. This article has been viewed 91,060 times.
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Co-authors: 6
Updated: August 25, 2021
Views: 91,060
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