How to Make Girls Like You

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: March 11, 2023 References

Getting girls to like you can seem difficult and confusing. Sometimes it can be hard just to get their attention in a positive way. If you say or do the wrong thing, you can turn a girl off and lose her interest in a heartbeat. It is important to learn how to play it cool, be charming, and treat them right if you want to make girls like you.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Treating Girls the Right Way

1
Be yourself. It is better for a girl to like you for the real you. If you pretend to be something you're not, the relationship will be short-lived. You can't keep up a false persona forever.
- Forget about all the advice in men’s magazines and in the movies you have seen. Act in a way that is the most comfortable for you.
- Try not to over think your response when engaging in conversation. Of course, it’s important to take your audience into account when formulating a response. You wouldn’t want to something that may come across as rude or offensive. For example, some of the jokes that you may share with your male friends may not be appropriate to share.
2
Tell the truth. It is often obvious when someone is lying, making up stories or exaggerating. Dishonesty will lose her trust. Be honest about your feelings as well. Don't tell her you want to meet her parents or travel together if you don't actually want to take the relationship to the next level.
- Research suggests that honesty builds trust which leads to better relationships.^{[1]
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  Research source}
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3
Be courteous and considerate. Chivalry is not dead and respect never goes out of style. Girls want to feel special. There are many simple ways to show you genuinely care about her.
- Hold the door for her, offer to carry a heavy bag, or help in a small, unexpected way.
- Fix something that she hasn’t gotten around to repairing, or doesn’t know how to fix.
4
Show interest in her personality. Ask her questions about her life and things that matter to her. Avoid talking about yourself too much and let her tell you about herself. You want to her to see that you are interested in her as a person.
5
Give her your full attention. Make eye contact when she speaks to show her you are listening. Ask questions about what she said or respond in ways that show you are actively engaged in the conversation.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- Pay attention to her physical and verbal cues as well as your own. Texting, reading newspapers, watching television or looking around is rude and makes it look like you are not interested in her or what she is saying. If you notice her doing these things, you're losing her interest.
6
Be patient. Don’t try to initiate physical contact if it is clear she isn’t ready. Slow and steady wins the race. Find subtle ways to show you are attracted to her first. Compliment her appearance and her personality.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Looking the Part

1
Possess a winning attitude. No one wants to hang around a negative person. Being pleasant, positive and friendly makes you more appealing.^{[3]
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Research source} Every person looks better when they smile. The stronger your smile the more good looking you seem. It can even make up for being relatively unattractive.
2
Radiate confidence. Using good body language makes you look more confident to others.^{[4]
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Research source} Stand-up straight with your shoulders back and head held up. Make eye contact to express your admiration. Too little eye contact can make you appear nervous or insecure.^{[5]
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3
Create a polished, well-groomed look. Being well-groomed and wearing the right clothes are more important to being perceived as attractive than physical non-changeable aspects.^{[6]
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Research source} Put in the effort to shower, brush your teeth, and shave. Style and trim your hair. Wear clothes that compliment you. Girls will definitely take notice of your fashion sense and style.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Avoiding Turn-offs

1
Be original. Don't say cheesy things or pick-up lines that you saw on a tv show or on the internet. Avoid such cliches if you want to get her attention. Dig deeper for your compliments. Telling her she has a great laugh or a great sense of humor shows your attraction is more than just physical.^{[7]
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Research source}
2
Give her space. Show her you aren't overly possessive by encouraging her to spend time with friends. It is a good for both of you to have a life outside your relationship. Don’t get jealous that she has male friends. Jealousy is a big turn-off.
3
Respect her decisions. Don’t be pushy. Each of you should feel free to make your own decisions that will be respected by the other.
- If she says no to your advances, accept it graciously. Do not get angry if she rejects you. If you are respectful of her decision she may change her mind in the future. If you act aggressively or talk badly about her, it will only come back to bite you. Other girls may hear about your distasteful behavior and it will ruin your chances with them.
4
Don’t be too inaccessible. A bit of cat and mouse can be fun but may get boring quickly. You can play bored or be distant to let a girl know you aren't going to desperately chase her, but you don't want to come off as uninterested it's too hard don't try.