How to Make Him Want You

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: February 16, 2023 References Approved

If you want a guy to notice you, work on cultivating the right personality. People in general tend to be attracted to those who are confident, kind, and independent. Put a little extra effort into your looks. Wear flattering outfits that show off your best features. Make sure to flirt when interacting. Mimic your crush's body language and smile when you're chatting with him.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Having an Attractive Personality

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Act confident. People are attracted to those who are confident and sure of themselves, so don’t feel bad about who you are. For example, it’s okay to be a little dorky if that’s part of your personality -- own it with confidence to attract the right guy.^{[1]
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- Part of being confident is openly enjoying the things that you like without feeling self-conscious. Whether it’s dancing, playing video games, or reading a book, enjoy yourself and don’t worry about looking “cool.”
- Remember to keep your confidence in check, though. Don’t be argumentative with others about your opinions, tastes, or ideas, but feel free to state them without shame.
2
Be kind. If a guy sees you being kind to others, he'll know you're someone he wants to be around. Show compassion and love to those around you, including your friends, family, and even strangers, to increase the chance of a guy liking you.
- Small gestures can show your kindness. Hold the door open for others, arrive on time when you have plans with others, ask your friends how their day is going, and smile at the people who you pass on the street.
- Being patient and understanding when dealing with others can also show your kindness. If your friend snaps at you because they’re having a bad day, accept their apology without making them feel bad.
3
Be open to new things. You want your guy to feel like he can spend time with you and still do the things that he enjoys. People are usually drawn to others who are more agreeable, so be willing to try new things, such as different types of food or movies that you don’t usually watch.
- If the things he enjoys are a bit unusual, he may really appreciate someone who shows genuine interest in them. For example, if he keeps odd collections, ask about them rather than raising an eyebrow.
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Be positive. In general, people are attracted to those who have a positive outlook. Try to focus on the little things in life that can brighten even the worst day, such as an interesting conversation or your favorite meal. If you make an effort to be positive in your day-to-day life, others will be able to pick up on your positive energy.^{[2]
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- It can take some work to become a more positive thinker. Try to catch negative thoughts and find a new way to look at the situation. For example, you may think, "I'm running late for school. I’m going to get in big trouble!" Instead, tell yourself something like, "It's a good thing I’m not usually late, so this won’t be that big a deal."^{[3]
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Give him his space. A guy wants to feel like he's free to be himself, which requires some alone time. Respect that space by having your own interests and activities outside of him. Make it clear to him you have your own group of friends, hobbies, and interests. If he sees you're more independent, he’s likely to want you more.
- For example, if he asks you to go out on a night that you have plans with friends, don’t cancel your original plans too eagerly. Your guy may worry that you’re too focused on him if you drop everything, so try making plans with him for the next night instead.
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Keep your conversations interesting. Don't let conversations get boring or repetitive. If the conversation seems to be dying down, bow out or change the topic. Avoid awkward small talk as much as possible.
- To keep a conversation going, ask good questions. For example, if he's telling you about a book that he's reading, you might say, "I love that one too! What do you like best about it?"
- You can always default to asking about things he likes. For example, if he's a movie buff, ask about his favorite films.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Flirting Effectively

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Touch him. Find small ways to touch your guy to show him that you’re interested and leave him longing for more physical contact. For example, nudge him a bit with your elbow during a conversation or touch his forearm a bit when you're speaking. If he touches back, it’s usually a sign he's interested in you as well.^{[4]
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- While you want the guy to know you’re interested in him, don’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with. If touching him feels like too much at first, just try standing close until you feel more comfortable.
2
Compliment him. Fit little compliments into the conversation. Make sure that you mean what you say, though, because he’ll probably be able to tell if you’re just giving him a line. Look for moments where you can work what you admire about him into a the conversation naturally.^{[5]
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- When you first begin flirting, you can use somewhat generic phrases. For example, you might say, "It was so good seeing you yesterday!"
- As you get to know him more, work organic compliments into the conversation. For example, if he mentions that he's wondering what to wear to a sporting event over the weekend, you might something like, "You always dress really nice so I'm sure you'll find something great."
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Smile and make eye contact. Smiling is a good way to come off as flirtatious. During a conversation, work on keeping a smile throughout. You can also try to laugh lightly at his jokes and smile more when he says something sweet or interesting.^{[6]
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- Eye contact can also help. Try holding his gaze for a few seconds and then glancing away.^{[7]
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4
Mimic his body language. It may seem strange, but people are attracted to those who subtly mimic their body language. You don’t have to imitate everything he does, but mimic small, subtle gestures. For example, if you see him cross his legs, cross your legs too.^{[8]
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- Try mimicking hand gestures. If he tends to wave his hands around as he speaks or to make a point, try doing the same.
- If he is leaning in towards you, lean in towards him too.
5
Pass him a note. You may want to send your guy a physical note, but a flirty text can also work. Don't make it outright flirty if you haven't established that kind of relationship, though. Just show that you're thinking of him.
- For example, you might send a quick text that says, "Just wanted to say hi! ;)"
- You can also text or send a note with a quick question. For example, "How was your day?"

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Choosing the Right Wardrobe

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Find the best clothes for your shape. Wear clothes that accentuate your best features. Certain clothing shapes flatter particular body types, so it’s important to choose the right fit for your wardrobe.^{[9]
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- If you are circle-shaped, choose slim-cut pants and looser tops, like tunics.
- If you are triangle shaped, meaning your shoulders and torso are narrower than your hips, opt for wide-legged pants, tailored jackets, and line skirts.
- If you have an hourglass figure, choose high-waisted pants, v-neck tops, and wrap dresses.
- If you have a straight or rectangular figure, opt for boot-cut pants and fitted jackets.
2
Wear something sexy. Choose outfits that you are comfortable wearing, but that make you feel attractive at the same time. Depending on your body shape and personality, that may mean a form-fitting outfit, a lower cut top, or a skirt or shorts that show off your legs.
- Go for v-neck tops, which will make your body look wider and taller. Scoop neck tops can also be sexy. ^{[10]
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- If you wear skirts and/or shorts, keep them above the knee to highlight your legs.
- Fitted jeans and a T-shirt can also be sexy, especially when paired with an accessory like a watch. If you want to look a little fancier, throw a sports coat over this outfit.^{[11]
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- Opt for clothing made with heavier fabrics, which will drape better on your body and highlight your figure.
3
Wear red. Men tend to be drawn to people dressed in red. Opt for red shades when possible, but make sure to use red in ways that work for you. Pay attention to your hair color, though. You may not want to wear too much red if it's not flattering on you.^{[12]
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- Redheads usually look good in green or blue, so add some green and blue accessories to a red top.^{[13]
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- Blondes look good in blue or purple. Try wearing red lipstick or a scarf with a purple shirt.
- Darker hair, such as brown or black hair, tends to look good in red. You can go all out with a red top, dress, or suit.
4
Don't neglect your hair. Opt for a haircut that complements your face shape and you feel comfortable with. It’s also important to brush or comb your hair before seeing your guy so it’s obvious that you’ve made an effort.^{[14]
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- Some men prefer longer hair, so if your hair is already long, allow it to hang down. However, if you're very petite, wearing your hair down may overwhelm your figure. Try a half up, half down style instead.
- If you have shorter hair, keep it combed and clean when you go out. You can also try spiking your hair slightly with gel for a more styled look.
5
Wear flattering makeup. Use a little eyeliner, mascara, and just enough eye shadow to give your eyes some shape. A small amount of flattering makeup can accentuate your best features and get a guy's attention.
- Men tend to be drawn to red lipstick. If you wear lipstick, you may want to opt for a red shade.^{[15]
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Smell amazing. Guys love it when you smell incredible. A simple clean smell is usually all it takes, so simply showering regularly can help. You can also add a little perfume or cologne.^{[16]
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- Avoid floral scents, which can be too strong. Instead, go for more nature-based scents, such as orchid or soft wood scents. Vanillas can also be subtle but enticing.
- Orange scents are also attention grabbing, so look for citrus-scented colognes and perfumes.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I make him miss me?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Try waiting an hour or two before responding to his texts or messages. The next time he messages you, do your best not to respond immediately. Finding the right balance between being unavailable and too available can be hard, but striking this balance gives him a chance to miss you while staying in contact.
Question

I'm shy, introverted, and sometimes seem angry. How am I going to flirt with him/her if it makes me uncomfortable?

Community Answer

Even if you like someone, you should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Try to establish a friendship with them first, so you can see if they're really right for you. If the other person knows you well, they'll appreciate your good qualities without you having to be overly flirty.
Question

What if you're wearing a school uniform?

Community Answer

We've got many tips on how to look good in a uniform. Depending on your school's policies, you might be able to get his attention with accessories, hairstyles, or small uniform adjustments.