This article was co-authored by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Amber Crain. John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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If you have your sights set on a special guy on Instagram, you're probably wondering how you can get his attention without being super obvious about it. Don't worry, we're here to help! There are actually quite a few ways you can play it cool and still catch his eye. Check out our helpful list below for tips on getting your IG crush to notice you.
Steps
Update your profile, especially your profile pic.
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Give your profile a once-over before you start interacting with him. Get rid of any negative posts and images that you don’t feel comfortable with (like the ones that feature your ex). Then, update your profile photo to something super cute. Your profile pic is the first thing your guy will see, so choose something that shows off your best features.[1] X Research source
- In your profile pic, showcase your adorableness with a flattering face shot. Snap the pic in soft, natural lighting using your favorite angle and upload it!
- Eventually, your crush is going to make his way over to your profile, so you want it to be in tip-top shape.
- Since your profile is public, avoid posting any private information there. Make sure people can't figure out where you live, your daily route to work/school, or your phone number just by looking at your posts.
- Make sure your profile is set to public so he can scope you out, too! Click on Settings > Privacy and Security. The Account Privacy box is at the very top of the page; make sure that little box isn’t ticked. If the box is blank, you’re good to go![2] X Research source If he’s already following you, you don’t need to change any of your settings.
- Do your best to project an image to the guy that shows your best life. This can make him see the best parts of you and see the life that you're inviting him into.
Check out his profile to learn more about him.
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That way, you can tailor your comments and DMs to his interests. His pics will reveal a lot about his personality! Scroll through to figure out his hobbies, favorite bands, hangout spots, and so on. Then, use that information in the future to have meaningful interactions with him.[3] X Research source
- For example, if he posts about his dog a lot, look into that dog breed. Then, when he posts a new picture of his dog, leave a comment like, "Greyhounds are my favorite breed. Love them so much!"
- If you aren't already following his profile on IG, smash that “follow” button now.[4] X Research source
Like most (but not all) of his new photos.
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You don’t need to like every single post to show your interest. In fact, liking every single photo he posts can come off as a bit overeager and awkward. Instead, pick and choose the posts you want to like and/or comment on. There’s no special formula for this, but try to avoid liking only his selfies. Like some of his selfies and some of his other posts (friends, pets, whatever).[5] X Research source
- If you're feeling brave, go ahead and like all of his most recent posts. He will definitely notice a string of consecutive notifications with your name on them!
- Let him feel your presence, but make sure to let him know that you don't have any agenda to date him, or he's going to recoil at least a little bit.
Consider liking his older photos to be more obvious.
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If you want him to know you're crushing on him, try this. Some people avoid liking older pics because they're worried it might send a lurker vibe. Others see this as a positive strategy and use it as a low-key way to tip-off their crush about their feelings. How you approach this is completely up to you and your comfort level![6] X Research source
- If you decide to adopt a “look but don’t touch” policy for older pics, don't be afraid to treat yourself to as much eye candy as you'd like! You'll learn valuable information about his interests and lifestyle as you're admiring his swoon-worthy good looks.[7] X Research source
Leave friendly, engaging comments on his posts.
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When it comes to comments, aim for quality over quantity. Posting a string of emojis on his selfie feels spammy and won't get his attention. Instead, look for opportunities to engage him and make a connection. Remember to keep your comment brief and positive.[8] X Research source
- For example, if he posts a selfie of himself at a Drake concert, leave a comment like, “OMG so jealous! Did he perform 'Back to Back' that night?” Hopefully, he’ll reply (but even if he doesn’t, he’ll almost certainly notice you).
- If he posts a selfie at a local art museum, you might comment something like, "Hands-down my favorite museum in the city. Is the Mark Rothko exhibition still up?"
- Before you publish your comment, reread it once more. Is it error-free? Is it something you’d actually say in real life? If you don't feel 100% about your comment, delete it and wait for another opportunity.[9] X Research source
Respond to his stories occasionally.
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An emoji is okay but a brief message is even better. Choose the stories you respond to wisely; if you respond to all of them, you might seem a bit overenthusiastic! 1 or 2 a week is plenty. Wait until he shares something that you can engage with in a meaningful way. Your goal is to start a dialog; “hey cutie” isn’t going to achieve that.[10] X Research source
- Keep in mind that story responses show up in his DM inbox. This is a perfect opportunity to initiate a DM convo!
- For example, if he posts a selfie of himself studying at one of your favorite coffee shops, respond with something like, “Love that place! Try the caramel cappuccino—it’s heaven.”
- If he posts a video that shows him playing with his dog at a local park, you might say, "I was at Rockwell Park with my dog last week! Check out the hiking trail—my dog loves it."
Post on your profile once or twice a week.
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Keep your content fresh so your new pics show up in his feed. If you post too often, it can be a little overwhelming. He might also start wondering if you have a life outside of Instagram![11] X Research source
- Post a variety of images on IG—avoid posting nothing but selfies. It’s a bit boring and can come off as narcissistic. Mix things up a little![12] X Research source
- Write great captions to go along with your posts, as well. Let your personality and wit shine through.
Share positive content on your profile.
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Use your posts to highlight the best aspects of your personality. Try to avoid posting depressing, personal, or disturbing things on your IG. Instead, think about how you want to be perceived (especially by him!) and tailor your posts to reflect that. Since you already know some of the stuff he's into, posting about overlapping interests can be a good way to get his attention.[13] X Research source
- For example, if you know he likes a certain Netflix series, post a pic of yourself with a big bowl of popcorn in front of your TV screen. Make sure the series title is visible on the screen! Mention it in a caption, too: "Finally watching The Walking Dead. So stoked!"
- You don't need to create posts that don't reflect your personality, though. If you don't like The Walking Dead, post about a different overlapping interest that you truly share with him. You want him to see the real you![14] X Research source
Show off your fun-loving side in IG stories.
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Stories are great for daily updates and sharing what you’re up to. IG stories are super popular, so take advantage of them to get your dude’s attention! You can post images and short video clips of just about anything. Stories disappear after 24 hours, so you can share selfies every day without worrying about looking narcissistic (since they don’t pile up on your profile forever).[15] X Research source
- One of the best things about stories is you can see who looks at yours! As long as your profile is public, anyone can see your stories. That means if your guy isn’t already following you, he can still peep your stories (and you’ll know about it when he does).
Slide into his DMs when you’re ready.
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After a few successful interactions, make your move! If you’re feeling pretty good about your engagements thus far, be bold and send him a DM. Keep your message brief: mention something about his recent post, ask for a recommendation, or just tell him how adorable he looks in his newest photo.[16] X Research source
- If he replies, you’re in! Try to keep the convo going after that. If he doesn’t reply, don’t worry about it too much. Don't send a follow-up DM, though. Just go back to commenting occasionally on posts and stories and see if anything progresses.
- Reaching out in a light-hearted way can also work really well! For instance, just share something that reminded you of him, like "Hey, I'm traveling and just saw this painting. It reminded me of you!"
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References
- ↑ https://www.dmarge.com/how-to-flirt-on-social-media
- ↑ https://lovedevani.com/how-to-get-your-crushs-attention-on-instagram
- ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/330/2019/02/Social-Networking-Reading.pdf
- ↑ https://lovedevani.com/how-to-get-your-crushs-attention-on-instagram
- ↑ https://www.dmarge.com/how-to-flirt-on-social-media
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/membership/archive/2018/12/how-teens-turned-instagram-into-a-dating-app/578020/
- ↑ https://www.dailydot.com/irl/instagram-flirting-guide/
- ↑ https://www.sweetyhigh.com/read/get-noticed-by-your-crush-social-media-090116
- ↑ https://bestlifeonline.com/instagram-flirting/
- ↑ https://www.morninglazziness.com/dating-game/how-to-get-a-guy-attention-on-instagram/
- ↑ https://www.morninglazziness.com/dating-game/how-to-get-a-guy-attention-on-instagram/
- ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/330/2019/02/Social-Networking-Reading.pdf
- ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/330/2019/02/Social-Networking-Reading.pdf
- ↑ https://sophia.stkate.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1519&context=msw_papers
- ↑ https://www.dailydot.com/irl/instagram-flirting-guide/
- ↑ https://www.morninglazziness.com/dating-game/how-to-get-a-guy-attention-on-instagram/