This article was co-authored by Hardy Jean and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano. Hardy "Coach DT" Jean is a Dating Coach and the Head Coach & Co-Founder of Way Tooo Spicy LLP, a relationship and dating coaching service based in Boston, Massachusetts. Hardy's specialties include trauma healing, self-love practices, and modern dating tactics in an increasingly virtual world. He works with his clients to upgrade their dating experiences through healing trauma, implementing uniquely personalized dating gameplans, and empowering clients to attract partners that they deserve. He has a BA in Legal Studies from the University of Massachusetts Amherst and is currently pursuing his Juris Doctor at Northeastern School of Law.
There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Is there a girl in your life who you’d love to win over? Maybe she’s your crush who makes you laugh and has the cutest smile. She could also be the one you’ve had your eyes set on for a while now, and you have serious feelings for her. Whoever she is, we’ll share some messages that will get her to notice you and make her melt. Try some of these to make her emotional over text—her heart will race every time she gets a notification from you.
Steps
Compliment her.
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Give her lots of praise and impress her with your creativity. She’ll appreciate that you like both her beauty and personality. There’s a lot of comments she’s probably heard before, so make one up that’s totally new. When you point out all her great qualities, be specific. She’ll love all your attention. [1] X Research source
- “I always get lost in your eyes. Every time I look into them, I feel like I’m going on a journey that’s going to change me. 🗺️”
- “I love hearing you speak. Every word is like music to me. 🎶 Can you send a voice memo?”
- “Hey, what do you think of this news story? You’re one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met. You’re my local expert on economics! 🤑”
Ask a curious question.
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Check in about her opinions to get closer to her. Text her some questions that tackle big topics, like her values and dreams. Start off with funny subjects, then move onto more emotional ones over time — obviously, it really depends on where you are in the courting stage. Early on, texting funny things first is a great way to really break the ice and slowly build up into more emotional things. If she’s really responsive and vulnerable right away, though, you can ask more personal questions. You’ll be able to interview her on the regular and really get to know her.[2] X Research source
- “Who are three famous people you’d bring to dinner? What would you serve up? 🍽️”
- “What are you most grateful for?”
- “How would you describe your childhood?”
- If you've already been on a few dates, it's usually a good idea to touch on subjects that you talked about during the date, especially things that you saw she enjoyed talking about or her passion points.
Stay upbeat and positive.
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Show off your optimism and she’ll crave your fun attitude. Point out the bright side of any situation. If you also come up with a solution to get her back on track, you’ll instantly make her day better. She’ll want to text all the time and enjoy your sunny personality.[3] X Research source
- “Wow. Your school schedule does sound intense. It sounds like you love your program and your teachers are great, though!”
- “It can be exhausting to travel during the holidays, for sure. But you’ll get a lot of time to catch up with your family!
- “Yeah, it can be hard to focus when your room’s disorganized. I bet a bookshelf will help a lot. You can get everything off the floor! 📚”
Tell her a joke.
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Make her laugh to test out the chemistry between you two. Crack a joke and see if she’s super enthusiastic. A laugh emoji or any other text that proves she digs your sense of humor also probably means she’s just into you in general. Start off with some jokes you feel really confident about, then experiment with memes and gifs that are pretty ridiculous. The more often she warms up to your silly texts, the more likely it is that she’s caught feelings.[4] X Research source
- If she replies with a lot of emojis, she’s really excited. For example, if she hits you with this: “🤣🤣🤣”, then she wants to give lots of encouragement.
- If you send a weird meme and she sends back an equally odd one, then she wants to relate and bond with you.
- If you two are texting back with one gif after the other, then it’s a sign that she wants to put a lot of effort into the conversation and keep it funny.
Share a story.
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Use lots of details when you describe an event to draw her in. You can share something interesting that happened earlier in the day, or you can talk about a vulnerable experience. The more effort and energy you put into your story, the more she’ll see the world from your perspective and feel a lot of empathy. She’ll realize she’s suddenly closer to you and want to give you all her affection.[5] X Research source
- Start off with an attention-grabbing opener: “😲 So, I was standing by the bus stop, and a man on a unicycle came speeding over…”
- Include details that connect to some of the five senses: “... the campfire and the pine trees smelled amazing, and the stars were unlike anything you’d see in the city…”
- Focus on your emotions and she’ll feel really sensitive. For example, you can say, “I was raised to be really tough, and I never got to talk about how nervous I can get.”
Send an open-ended one-liner.
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Send any text that makes her continue the talk and keep her hooked. Give her a message that needs more than just a “yes” or “no” answer. Share your own thoughts first or any piece of information you find interesting. You can even share an opinion that she can react to. She’ll know what you value and have a chance to pitch into the discussion, too.[6] X Research source
- “It’s way too early to know who you really are. Change my mind. 🧠”
- “I’ve got tons of opinions about this. Here, watch this clip and tell me what you think.”
- “Found this quote that inspired me. What’s your take on this? 🤔”
Flirt with her.
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Send playful texts to say you’re attracted to her. She’ll want to know that you have some romantic interest in her, so make it clear you have a crush. Stay casual and tease her with messages that focus on the chemistry you two have. Give her signs you find her beautiful and exciting, then let her take the lead. She’ll adore the sense of mystery and want to keep playing along.[7] X Research source
- “I am swamped with work, but I can’t stop thinking of you. You’re a beautiful distraction. 😏”
- “I’m not going to be able to get any sleep if you keep posting pics! 😳”
- “You’re too much for me, but I also just can’t get enough! 😭”
Hint that she’s on your mind.
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Admit that you think about her a lot to make her melt. Once you’ve flirted and teased, tell her how you feel more than just an attraction. Talk about why you think about her so often. For example, maybe she has a great sense of humor or she’s crazy smart. When you confess that you’re focused on her because you find everything she does special and endearing, she’ll be curious about a relationship with you.[8] X Research source
- “Saw a poster of that standup comedian. I was just thinking about how I could see you on stage! 🎤”
- “I can’t watch this movie without you. I need you to bring over some popcorn and all your running commentary. 🍿”
- Studies suggest that the more you express how you appreciate her and feel attached to her, the more she’ll also feel a strong bond with you.[9] X Research source
Bring up a future date.
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Invite her out and she’ll know you want to show her a good time. You can suggest that you two hang out if you both have free time. You can also ask her about her favorite places and offer to check them out with her. You can even challenge her to come up with a creative date idea, then say that you’re totally impressed with it. When you imagine the activities you two can get into, she’ll start to see that you’d both make a great couple.[10] X Research source
- “We both have nothing to do this weekend? Well, let’s change that! 🪄”
- “You really think they have the best pizza in town? Let’s go and see if I agree with that. 🍕”
- “A farmer’s market crawl? 🍇 What?! Sounds fun and healthy! Let’s do it.”
Open up about your excitement.
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Share how happy she makes you and she’ll be in the best mood. Remind her that your day is better just because you know her. When you say you feel really lucky and grateful, she’ll think of all the ways you lift her up and make her smile, too. Then, she’ll realize that you’re both a perfect match.[11] X Research source
- “I am so lucky I get to see you every week. 🍀”
- “Every day, I wake up and think about how amazing you are. ☀️”
- “I can have the worst day and it won’t matter because you’re in my life! 😍”
Use romantic language.
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Describe your feelings with lots of details to make her heart race. Talk about the effect she has on you. If she makes you blush or feel warm inside, say that. Be honest about any romantic feelings you have. She’ll respect how authentic you are and picture the strong connection you share.[12] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- “You get my heart pounding. ❤️”
- “You take my breath away.”
- “You light me up. 🔥”
Remain available for her.
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Respond to her texts and offer your support. Tell her she can always reach out if she wants someone to listen. Check in with her and ask how she’s been. If she’s had a rough day, ask how you can make it better. When you’re apart, send some affectionate messages so she can imagine your arms wrapped around her. She’ll see how important you are in her life, and she’ll dream of a long-term relationship with you.[13] X Research source
- “Hey, how’ve you been holding up?”
- “I know you’ve had a rough day. I’ll be over soon. 🤗”
- “I’m always here to listen to you.”
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References
- ↑ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02185/full
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/open-gently/201310/36-questions-bring-you-closer-together
- ↑ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2010.534105
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bottom-line/201105/want-know-if-someone-likes-you
- ↑ https://stylegirlfriend.com/want-impress-woman-do-this/
- ↑ https://youtu.be/WDbxqM4Oy1Y?t=69
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202102/do-you-have-the-9-traits-effective-flirt
- ↑ https://upjourney.com/how-to-tell-a-women-you-like-her
- ↑ https://www.southuniversity.edu/news-and-blogs/2016/08/the-psychology-behind-love-and-romance-70700
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
- ↑ https://hms.harvard.edu/magazine/science-emotion/contagion-happiness
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4396134/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201112/10-ways-get-and-give-emotional-support