How to Meet Women

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: February 9, 2023 References

Whether you're willing to look close to home or roam farther afield, there are always opportunities for meeting women who share the same interests and are interested in you, too.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Finding Eligible Women

1
Go online. It is now well established that online dating sites are a regular part of meeting people with like interests. Find a dating site that appeals to you and create a profile. You can either look through the women already on the site according to mutual interests or you can wait for women to find you.^{[1]
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- When uploading a profile, look approachable and neat. Wear clothes, too––naked bodies, no matter how buff, are not the way to go when online.
- Avoid lying. If you're older and less fit than you'd like to be, don't cover this up. Your potential date won't hang around if she comes face-to-face with your untruths upon meeting you.
- If you do get nibbles, reply promptly, so as not to cause the women to think you're lazy or uninterested.
- Be open-minded to all those interested in you. If you put an age-range or any other restrictive ranges into your wishlist, you could miss out on women who might be slightly outside those expectations but are ideal for you. It also sounds really bossy and perfectionist to list restrictive preferences and will scare off many women even if they fall within your restrictions.
2
Ask your friends. Friends, both male and female, are a good place to begin when you're seeking to meet someone new. Your friends will know of single women who are looking for a chance to date--from sisters and work colleagues to friends from hobbies or sports they pursue.
- Organize, or have your friends organize, a party or dinner event at which the two of you can meet.
- Consider a blind date with this person.
- Be sure to ask your friend about why he or she thinks this woman might be compatible with you. It will help you to come up with topics of conversation before you meet.
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3
Try an introduction agency. If the thought of going online seems a tad too exposing or impersonal to you, you might prefer to try an introduction agency, where the agents do all the work of matching and arranging introductions for you.^{[2]
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- Many online sites operate as both, so check the details when looking at the website, as you might get the chance to try both ways.
4
Consider women at your workplace. It's up to you whether workplace romances are taboo or not; in some cases, company policy prevents anything of the sort. But where this isn't an issue, there are both good and bad reasons to date someone from work.^{[3]
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- On the bright side, many women at work will likely have similar interests, schedules and availability. Furthermore, you don't have to go trawling through bars and clubs to meet them.
- On the downside, breakups after a relationship can impact work badly, office gossip can be difficult and charges of favoritism can be rife.
  - There are ways of handling all the challenges though, so if you do like someone at work, perhaps it's worth the effort.
- Never harass a woman. Workplace procedures are in place to deal with any element of sleaziness, inappropriate touching or comments, etc. for good reason. Make sure she won't misinterpret your intentions by being open, clear and caring. Avoid using dirty language or innuendos.
- Leave alone any idea of having an affair or dating a woman who is going through a divorce.
- Keep personal communications personal. Don't use the workplace email to serenade her. Use your personal email addresses or speak to her directly instead.
  - Your IT team can recall anything from work emails, so if you do use them, be careful and never send anything that couldn't be shared with everyone else in the office.
- Think really hard before attempting to date a boss, manager or supervisor. Charges of favoritism will be all too easy to lay against you and the imbalance in power at work may also influence an imbalance of power in your personal relationship, which isn't healthy for either of you.
5
Go where the singles hang out on purpose. There are plenty of opportunities for meeting single women in a city, town, or similar environment. Some examples include:^{[4]
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- Clubs, nightclubs, bars/sports bars and restaurants
- Hobby or sports events that end with a party or get-together
- Dinner parties, dinner events, tasting events
- A singles cruise or other specially organized singles event that is a bit more out of the ordinary.
6
Attend a class or a course. If you're passionate about something, from sailing to food art, you might find equally passionately driven women by joining a class or course focused on that very topic.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} You'll certainly have lots to talk about together.^{[6]
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- Hit the gym. Not only will you reap the benefits of fitness, but often classes are full of--you got it: mostly women.
- If you happen to be one of only a few men––or the only man––at the course or class, you'll be considered somewhat special!
7
Be aware of your surroundings. Life itself presents many opportunities to meet women––if you're open to the possibilities.
- For example, standing in the supermarket queue, try striking up a conversation with the women alongside you who has attracted your attention for all the right reasons.
- Catch a woman's eye while commuting home on public transportation and make an amusing comment about something relevant, then introduce yourself.
- Daily places where conversations might be possible with women include the laundromat, waiting at a bus stop, shopping (including saying hi to the shop assistant you fancy so much), working out at the gym, walking your dog, clearing up your front yard as she passes by, the library, the video store (you already know her taste in movies), large outdoor events and pursuing recreational/sporting activities.
- Church and community group events can also bring you into contact with women who have the same set of beliefs and values that you do. There are bound to be many opportunities that come up through such institutions from your regular attendance.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Presenting Yourself Well

1
Look the part. Even though it is said that nobody should judge a book by its cover, first impressions count enormously when people don't know one another yet. It is always in your favor to look your best.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- In those first moments, you will be sized up and categorized depending on what you're wearing, how much you've groomed yourself and whether you've cleaned your shoes, no matter how much you may resent this reality! To help yourself meet women, stay well groomed and dress stylishly, according to your own tastes.
- When looking to meet someone, wear clothes that represent you.^{[8]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} They should be in good condition, pressed if needed (obviously not all clothing needs pressing, so use your instincts), free of holes and without stains.
- Keep your hair in good shape. Take time in the morning to style your hair, shave, and get a haircut every 8 weeks.
- Leave the grungy workshop or gardening clothes at home. Unclean, messy clothing reduces your confidence and doesn't help you to stand out. Grungy clothing on either sex tells the world, "I'm not interested at the moment, thanks."
- Go easy on the cologne. She shouldn't be able to smell you from across the room.
2
Act the part. Be the type of man a woman would want. Take small opportunities to show her you're a gentleman. Then, of course, follow up with casual conversation.
- If you see a woman with her hands full, offer to help! A courteous stranger will be sure to pique her interest.
- Any situation can be an opportunity to converse. Explain a bus schedule, inform her of a better value down the street, or offer her spare change when she's fumbling through her purse. Don't expect anything in return, however; allow her to reciprocate.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Your Demeanor

1
Look approachable. Meeting people is helped by appearing open and willing to be approached. This includes using open body language, smiling and presenting a broadly positive demeanor.
- As well as good grooming, your body language has a big impact on whether or not someone feels able to approach you. Moreover, the tone, speed and volume of your voice has an impact too.
- Look and act confident. Self-doubt is noticeable by other people; prepare yourself mentally to be confident and fake it if need be!
- Stay positive––nobody wants to hear a litany of woes the first time they meet you. Even if life is treating you unkindly at the moment, don't pass this on to her when you first meet.
2
Look at women's faces, not their chests. She may be stunning, but she won't stay near you if all you can do is stare at her breasts. Focus on her as a person; take in her face and truly listen to what she is saying. Maintain good eye contact without staring her out.^{[9]
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- Remember her name. Use her name when talking to her--she'll feel subconsciously more at ease with you.
- Value the place of small talk. It may be tiny, but it's a safe approach for getting to know one another better. Moreover, it's not what you say at this stage but how you say it: with warmth, friendliness and interest.
3
Stay relaxed. Everyone is nervous when meeting someone new and wanting more than just a mere handshake from them. But it's important to settle your anxiety as much as possible by reminding yourself that you're worthy.
- Avoid seeing the meeting as an audition. This causes you to put yourself on show and to treat her as being on show too. This can only end badly when things don't go according to script. Instead, relax into yourself and treat this as a fun opportunity to get to know someone without worrying about where it may or may not lead.
- If you think you're good enough for the woman in question, she'll sense this and reciprocate your confident stance. If you act unworthy, you risk being treated as such. Attract the response you want by being confident and engaged in the moment.
4
Make a connection. Try to find out what her interests are by asking about her job, hobbies, what she likes to do with her time, and her favorite things (movies, music, foods, etc). Then, you can tell her about yourself, too.
- For instance, "Yeah, I really like Van Gogh too, but Monet is much too simplistic." That way, she'll know you're not just saying "yes" all the time to make her like you but that you are willing to converse intelligently.
- Do not tell too much information about yourself at first contact; it can make you look too desperate to get a sweetheart and too social to her liking. Act like a lonely, working man with a capable mind.
- Women are incredibly sensitive to "personal bubbles." Be sure not to crowd her--a good distance is about three feet. Instead of the chair next to her, choose the one across. If she leans in, bingo.
5
Know when to end the conversation. Going on for too long can make you seem desperate or even scheming. When this woman is someone you'd really like to see again, say something like, "You know, I would love to hear more but I have to get back to work now. Tell me all about it over salsa dancing on Tuesday." Always leave the conversation to be continued. Do not exhaust the conversation as things can turn awkward and she may lose interest.
- Do not allow her to end the conversation or date; if she wants to quit, stall the ending by thinking of a few things to say and then end the meeting. She will now hang around longer at the place; if you have the chance, return. Then ask for her telephone number.
- Of course, as with everything, there are exceptions. If you feel that whammy of chemistry connecting the two of you and you go on to talk all night and into the next day, let the flow take you where it will. Sometimes, this is what happens--with no rhyme or reason.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Dealing with Rejection

1
Understand that rejection is part of the dating deal. Some women won't be interested because they don't feel the spark or the click. Respect that––it's far better to have honesty up front than to insist on a meeting of minds and bodies that is never going to be nicely compatible but is forced and uncaring. Rather than taking rejection personally, realize that this is an important step in finding the right woman amid a sea of women who aren't your perfect match.
- Sometimes you'll be rejected because it's not the right time in her life to be committing to a relationship. Perhaps she's going through a messy divorce, perhaps a big career move is on her radar or perhaps she just needs time to heal after a bad relationship. If she is really worth it, give her wide berth while remaining friendly and just be patient. Otherwise, wish her the best of luck and keep looking.
2
Listen to your gut instinct. A single rejection doesn't mean there is something wrong with you as a person (she may like you but not know how to express it!). However, if you experience repeated rejections, you may want to address your grooming, your mannerisms with women, or even your whole approach. It could be that you're doing something wrong and that's always easy to fix.

Expert Q&A
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Question

Where is the best place to meet a girlfriend?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

One great place to meet women is in a class or community course. This will also give you a topic to start a conversation.
Question

What should I say when I meet a girl?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Find some things you have in common and talk about them to establish a connection and get to know one another better.

Warnings

Do not use cheesy pickup techniques like having the bartender or waitress bring a drink over to her. You've got to play it cool and that sort of movie-style behavior does not work in real life. Respect the smarts of women as much as you respect your own.

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Don't ever try to "fit in" or look like the other guys at a party.

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Do not overanalyze the situation. Just make eye contact, smile, say hello, and start an innocent conversation with her just like you would with your guy friends. Do not succumb to "paralysis by analysis."

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Don't come on too strong. Have a keen sense of whether or not she's interested. Look for signs. If she ever touches your arm, holds your hand, flits her eyes, or laughs at your jokes, you are in. Do not try too hard (like making an hour's long list of topics to say); just give the basics she wants to know: your age, what you are doing for a living or education, where you are from, your personal motives with her, and if you have children. A new person in her life can be a daunting challenge; give her time to get used to you. Show that you can organize your thoughts for a conversation and are able to make your own proper sentences.

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Be wary of saying, "You're cute." This may or may not be an indication of interest. Also, if a woman asks you to dance, she could just looking for someone to dance with. If she pulls you off the dance floor to talk, you are in. If she ever tells you, "I'll be right back," give up on this one if she isn't back in 5 minutes.

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