This article was co-authored by Kim Chronister, PsyD. Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 12 testimonials and 95% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status.
This article has been viewed 313,943 times.
Random acts of kindness are deliberate attempts to brighten another person's day by doing something thoughtful, nice, and caring. While the possibilities for the things you can do to be kind are almost endless, the most important thing is to expect nothing in return. Complimenting people, sharing a smile, paying it forward, and expressing thanks are great ways to get started with practicing random acts of kindness.
Steps
Brightening Someone’s Day
-
1Give out compliments generously. Instead of staring at the floor when you’re stuck in an awkward silence, find something you like about the other person and compliment them on it. Not only will it make them feel good, it just might kick off a conversation with a new friend.[1] For example:
-
2Share a smile. Smiles are contagious! Whenever you’re talking to someone, whether they are a stranger or a friend, show that you're happy to be with them in that moment.[4]
- If you meet someone who’s sad or grumpy, smile anyway. Ask them if they're having a hard day, listen to their problems, offer to help in any way you can, and wish them better luck in the future. Share contact information if there is something you can do to help them down the road.
Advertisement -
3Visit or send postcards to sick kids in the hospital. Even if you don’t know them, kids will love having someone new to talk to. Bring a small gift, like a card or stuffed animal, to show them that people are thinking of them.
- The elderly can also get lonely. Visit them and listen to their stories.
-
4Volunteer for a cause you care about. Find a homeless shelter in your area, and offer your help with meals and transportation. If you love animals, look for an animal shelter or rescue. Help out by cleaning cages and taking the dogs for walks.
-
5Pay it forward. Pay for the meals of the people sitting next to you at a restaurant. Cover the coffee for the people in the car behind you at the drive-thru. Feed the parking meter for the car next to yours to keep them from getting a ticket. Pay for tickets for the family in line behind you at the zoo or movies.
-
6Give up your seat on public transportation. It doesn’t have to just be for elderly folks or pregnant women; everyone will appreciate a seat in a packed bus or train.[5]
-
7Practice self-care and love. Being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to other people. Take care of yourself by getting rid of your negative filter, taking a break to read a good book or take a bath, and complimenting yourself. Support yourself with positive affirmation, and be patient when things don’t go exactly as planned. This will put you in a better mindset to help others.
Expressing Gratitude
-
1Do a chore for a family member before they can get to it. If your partner normally cooks dinner, do it for them that day in the exact same way that they would do it. It will show them that you appreciate how much they do for you.
- You can also wash their car, weed the yard, do the dishes for a week with no questions asked, or make them breakfast in bed.
-
2Thank the people who normally don’t receive a lot of thanks. We tend to forget about the more “invisible” people in our society who keep our lives running smoothly. Thank the person who delivers your mail, the barista who prepared your coffee, and the janitor who cleans the building where you work. Write a note or say “thank you” genuinely in person.[6] [7]
- Send or bring treats like donuts or pastries to your local police station, emergency room, or fire department. You can order them from a bakery, or even better, make them yourself! Include a thank you card with your gift.
- A lot of people don't get much positive reinforcement in their day-to-day life, so kind words really help them feel seen.[8]
-
3Leave a big tip at a restaurant. Waiters and waitresses often rely on tips for a large part of their income. Make someone’s day by leaving a 50-100% tip.[9]
-
4Pick up trash on the side of the road and throw it away. Normally city employees or private clean-up agencies do that, so make their job easier by cleaning up any litter that you see. Make sure you stop your car safely on the side of the road if you were driving.
- If you take a walk, take a plastic grocery bag with you so you can collect any trash you see.
-
5Expect nothing in return. The greatest acts of kindness are those freely given because you care about another person and want them to be happy. Kindness is its own reward, so it will improve your sense of well-being and happiness no matter what you do.[10]
- If you pick up trash on the side of the road, don’t call the city waste management office and brag about how much work you’ve saved them.
- If you do a chore for a family member, don’t hold it over their head by saying “You owe me one.”
- If you give up your seat on public transportation, don’t look around at other people expecting them to give up their seat for you.
Expert Q&A
-
QuestionHow do you show that you care in a conversation?Kim Chronister, PsyDDr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.
Clinical PsychologistAsk people plenty of open-ended questions—people love to talk about their lives and feel heard. You might ask about their pets or activities that they really enjoy. -
QuestionHow do you show kindness to strangers?Kim Chronister, PsyDDr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.
Clinical PsychologistPay close attention to your non-verbals by consciously making adjustments to how you think, react, and present yourself. This way, you'll give off a warm or at least neutral impression.
References
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ http://www.bradaronson.com/acts-of-kindness/
- ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ http://www.omnipositive.com/80-inspiring-random-acts-of-kindness/
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.
- ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.
- ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/29-ways-to-carry-out-random-acts-of-kindness-every-day.html
- ↑ https://www.feld.com/archives/2014/07/mentors-218-expect-nothing-return.html
- ↑ http://www.improvisedlife.com/2013/06/11/the-origins-of-random-kindness-and-senselss-acts-of-beauty/
- ↑ http://www.craveonline.com/culture/955243-odd-origin-random-acts-kindness-day
- ↑ https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-random-acts-of-kindness-day-february-17/