How to Respond to a Compliment

Co-authored by Lynda Jean

Last Updated: December 31, 2020 References

Responding to compliments can be difficult, especially if you feel like accepting them will make you seem vain. However, politely accepting a compliment will make you seem more modest than deflecting or rejecting a compliment.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Lynda Jean
Certified Image Consultant
Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.} It is also important to know how to respond to a backhanded compliment. Keep reading to learn how to respond to compliments.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Responding to a Compliment

1
Keep it simple. You may feel compelled to say all sorts of things when someone compliments you, but sometimes the best way to acknowledge a compliment is to simply say thank you to the person who gave you the compliment.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Lynda Jean
Certified Image Consultant
Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.}
- Saying something like, "Thanks! That makes me feel great to know that you feel that way," or “Thank you, I appreciate the compliment,” is a perfectly acceptable way to respond.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Lynda Jean
  Certified Image Consultant
  Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.}
- Remember to smile and make eye contact with the person who complimented you as you thank them.
2
Resist the urge to deflect or reject a compliment. Sometimes people feel the need to deflect or reject compliments by downplaying their efforts or abilities. In those situations, you might feel compelled to say, “Thanks, but it was really nothing.” While it may seem like you are being modest when you deflect or reject a compliment, it can make you seem insecure or like you are looking for additional compliments.^{[4]
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- Instead of deflecting or rejecting compliments, allow yourself to feel proud of what you have accomplished and simply say "Thank you."
- Pay attention to how you feel when someone compliments you. Rejecting or deflecting compliments may indicate that you have low self-esteem because having someone compliment you might contradict negative views that you have of yourself.^{[5]
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3
Acknowledge other people who deserve to share the credit. If you are complimented on something that involved the contributions of others, make sure that you acknowledge those people as well. Don’t take all of the credit for the accomplishment.^{[6]
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- Saying something like, “We all worked really hard on this project, thanks for acknowledging it,” will help disperse the praise to the other people who contributed to your accomplishment.
4
Return compliments sincerely, but not competitively. You may sometimes feel the urge to downplay your own abilities by redirecting a compliment you just received towards the person who paid it to you, but you should resist this urge.^{[7]
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- Saying something like, “Thanks, but I am not nearly as talented as you,” will give the impression that you are insecure and perhaps even trying to outdo the person who paid you the compliment. This type of response can also give the impression that you are sucking up to the person.
- Instead of redirecting the compliment you received, pay the person a non-competing compliment in return. For example, you could say something like, “Thanks! I appreciate that. I think that you gave a really great presentation today as well!”
5
Accept and respond to compliments the first time that you hear them. Don’t ask for an explanation or repetition of the compliment. By asking the speaker to repeat what they have just said to you or to explain the compliment in more detail, you will risk seeming vain or narcissistic. Accept the compliment for what it is and do not ask for reinforcement or explanations.^{[8]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Redirecting a Backhanded Compliment

1
Remember that backhanded compliments are not about you. A backhanded compliment is an insincere compliment that is meant to be hurtful or insulting. If someone gives you a backhanded compliment, it is most likely due to their own sense of insecurity and rejection. Instead of hating the person for saying mean things to you, attempt to understand why this person might be so bitter. Understanding that the backhanded compliments are not about you will help you to respond in ways that will put them to a stop.^{[9]
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- For example, someone might give you a backhanded compliment by saying, “I wish I was as relaxed as you are about all this clutter!” The comment is phrased as a compliment, but it is actually an insult about your living situation. This comment is based in the person’s need to say something rude about the current state of your home rather than ignoring it.
2
Address back handed compliments. Don’t allow back handed compliments to go by unnoticed. If someone gives you a backhanded compliment, let them know that you understand that it was not really a compliment.^{[10]
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- Say something like, “I know you might have meant that as a compliment, but it didn’t sound like one. Is there something you want to talk to me about?” This type of response can help you to address the backhanded compliment and open up a discussion about what is causing the person to say these things.
3
Redirect compliments about intrinsic qualities that you do not feel are accurate. If someone compliments you on being extraordinarily lucky when you accomplish something, don’t thank them. By thanking them for such a compliment, you are implicitly agreeing with them that you didn’t really work hard for your accomplishment.^{[11]
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- You don’t have to be rude or aggressive with your response, you can simply say something like, “Maybe I am lucky, but I think that my success on this project was more due to hard work than luck.”

Expert Q&A
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Question

What's the best way to graciously accept a compliment?

Lynda Jean
Certified Image Consultant
Lynda Jean is an Image Consultant and the Owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and body/style analysis, wardrobe audits, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, and personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their image, self-esteem, behavior, and communication to facilitate their social and career goals. Lynda holds Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Social Work, a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Image Consultant (CIC) certification. She studied Image Consulting at the International Image Institute and the International Academy of Fashion and Technology in Toronto, Canada. Lynda has taught Image Consulting courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada. She is the co-author of the book, “Business Success With Ease,” where she shares her knowledge about, ‘The Power of Professional Etiquette.’

Lynda Jean

Certified Image Consultant

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Just say something simple, like "Thank you." or "Thank you, that means a lot to me."
Question

My friends tell me that I have a nice bikini body and that they're jealous. It's very awkward. Is that considered a compliment? How would I respond without seeming stuck up?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

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It sounds like a compliment since they are telling you how great you currently look. I suggest to respond with a simple "thank you" and leave it at that, unless they inquire about any tips or techniques you used to look good.
Question

How do I not feel shy when receiving a compliment?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

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If you feel shy when you get a compliment, then the compliment most likely goes against your own beliefs. Try challenging your negative views about yourself and raising your self-esteem.